Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Sidney Crosby: Little Bitch

So, Four Habs Fans had this treasure on their site, and I just had to share.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAle37zwhyA&eurl=http://www.fourhabsfans.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded

So. Little Sidney is back to his bitchy little tricks. Just when I started coming around on this kid, I see this crap. My first question is, how is this brat the captain of an NHL team? It's been long enough; we've waited patiently for this golden boy to grow up and start playing a man's game, and it still hasn't happened. Sidney Crosby has made himself, and his team, into a joke. Instead of these antics, perhaps he ought to take a look at the antics of another player. Maybe then he'll understand how the game is meant to be played.

Sidney Crosby has wasted his talent. He has chosen to concentrate his energies on complaining to referees, and now has moved on to taking the same cheap shots he once whined about.
My conclusion is that Sidney Crosby has now joined the unfortunate ranks of the NHL's most coddled and wasted talents alongside Vincent Lecavalier and Rick DiPietro.

There is a difference between building a team around a player, and making that player the identity of a franchise to the exclusion of all others. Like Lecavalier, Crosby has passed the point of no return. He has become used to being the golden child, and having everything his way. Players may come and go, but the team will always suffer from his whims.

While it's been interesting waiting to see Crosby grow into a mature player, it is now safe to say that it will never happen. At least now we can move on and finally declare Alexander Ovechkin the best player in the NHL. Still, I am a little sad, having witnessed a truly remarkable talent needlessly squandered.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Gary Bettman brings the best of the NBA to the NHL--now, with more referee gambling

So, how does a 4-1 win turn into a 3-2 overtime loss? When a pair of refs wave off two completely legitimate goals, and award a phantom slashing call that results in a 5-on-3 for the opposition. That, combined with an 11-1 penalty spread on Tuesday helped Carolina win their last two games against Montreal (and win the bets that the NHL referees made on the two games.)

Make no mistake. NHL referees are gambling on NHL games. There is no other explanation for why these games are being called the way they are. Stupidity and incompetence can only go so far--this goes way beyond what even the most inept referee can accomplish in terms of unbalanced officiating. It's illegal, and someone needs to start looking into it. But as long as a basketball lawyer is running the league, it will not stop.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Bandwagon time! Everyone is talking about Mats Sundin so I guess I'm supposed to.

So. Mats Sundin to Vancouver.
I'm going to go out on a limb here: Mats Sundin will do well.
There's a reason teams were lining up, salivating for him. He is a dynamic center who played some of his best years with horribly sub-par teammates. Last year he had seventy-some-odd points, and that was on a team with aging has-been idjits. Sundin is a big-game player, and he will turn some heads. He can dominate a game, and Vancouver should be glad to have him. I would have liked to see him in the Canadiens lineup, but that seemed pretty remote.

I do, however, think Mats Sundin should have signed with New York instead. The Rangers have a more complete team from the top down, and Mats would have had a much better chance of winning the Cup with the Rangers.

So there's my bold prediction: he is going to have a great year, and may even make some noise in the playoffs. You can be sure that after the new year rolls around and I'm falling asleep to the warm glow of Western Conference hockey, that warm glow will be a Vancouver game. Hell, I may even stay awake to see some of his goals and immediately fall peacefully back into a light, Bob Cole-narrated sleep.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Hockey Carol

Every hockey fan up north liked hockey a lot,
But Gary Bettman, who liked basketball, did not.
Bettman hated hockey, all its traditions
No one knows why he took such positions
He sat in his office, his teeth slowly grating,
"I must find some way to keep players from skating!"
And then Bettman got an idea in his head
A way to make hockey fans shiver with dread
"I'll become the commissioner" said the old shithead
"And make people want to watch basketball instead."
So he took half the season, in his second year
Which made all of hockey fans shed many tears
He took their divisions, their Smythe, and their Norris,
He ignored their complaints "The Devils, they bore us!"
He expanded the league into odd southern cities
Atlanta and Raleigh, where the ice was quite shitty
And he put glowing pucks on the fans TV sets
And then Gary Bettman took Winnipeg's Jets
Then he took a whole season, 04 and 05
And so the TV ratings took quite a dive.
"And now for my next trick," said the big douche
"I'll design hockey jerseys that will make the fans puke!"
And the fans cried in anguish at the new Reebok sweaters
"A retarded two year old could have done better!"
So Bettman sat in New York, feeling quite pleased
"I'm bringing the hockey fans down to their knees!"
And he heard a small sound as he was watching the Knicks
The sound of a hockey puck hitting a stick.
He ran to his window and looked down below
And he saw the ice surface plowed in the snow
The hockey fans everywhere still came to play,
Ignoring the NHL's ridiculous ways.
They played on their ponds, on their frozen back yards
They wore vintage sweaters, of original six stars
And Bettman was pissed, as he saw they still played
Even after the debacle he'd made
"They play without Reebok, they play without glow pucks,
They play without Thrashers, Panthers or Ducks!"
And Bettman then had a brief moment of doubt
Maybe hockey, perhaps, doesn't belong down south.
And what happened then, some old-timers say,
Bettman's small brain exploded that day.
And the hockey fans cheered for they knew they were saved
And they all started cheering, "Hip hip! Hooray!"
And Leafs fans and Habs fans, the Rangers and Bruins
Started building the league back up from its ruins.
Merry Christmas to hockey, and all of its fans
And may the story I just told (please) be in God's plans
For we hockey fans are Patient, Loyal and True
But please God, take Bettman! What more can we do?!?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Jaroslav Halak: Better than Carey Price.

Discuss.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Memo to TSN: STFU

So it's finally happened. Matthew Barnaby is now a commentator. TSN has decided that one (ahem) opinionated ex-NHL insider in the form of John Tortorella wasn't enough, and have now added Barnaby to its panel for scintillating between-period discussions.
Let's be objectively clear: Matthew Barnaby was one of the premier jackasses in the NHL. He was known for cheap shots, dirty hits, and a mouth that would make a whore blush. Barnaby's favorite tactic was provoking fights and then shying away, or simply pretending to be hurt and then assaulting unsuspecting goalies. Barnaby's actions bordered on the criminal during his NHL career, and by the time it was over, there were few players who considered him a respectable teammate.

Now for the true irony: last night, the TSN panel was discussing Sean Avery's comments about Elisha Cuthbert (which I will not repeat here). Matthew Barnaby was on that panel. I need to confess I muted the TV, but not before he said "Well, I've said some things during my career but[...]"
But what, Matthew? Did you mention that you said far worse on the ice to opposing players, even former teammates? Did you talk about your own penchant for dirty hits and cowardice? Did you mention that you have lost the respect of nearly every player who played against, or even with you?

TSN has turned itself into a joke by having this idiot participate in a discussion condemning Avery's actions. Barnaby was far worse in his NHL career, and someone has got to remind TSN of that fact.

As a post-script, Bob McKenzie, not to be outdone by the irony of the situation, revealed his own stupidity when he repeated, word-for-word, Avery's statement, and in the same breath condemned it as sexist, offensive and dangerously misogynistic. Tomorrow as an encore, Bob will tell people not to say "fuck".

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Static

So I missed the game 3 preview and recap between the Bruins and the Canadiens. For that, I apologize. Instead of offering excuses (and I have a legitimate one), I'll offer this quarter-pole assessment of Montreal. This won't take long, because the problem is obvious, and, what's more, it's easily fixed.

Montreal's power-play flat-out sucks. As of today, they are 24th in the league with a 14.4% success rate. The reason is not because Mark Streit has gone, or that so-and-so is cold. The reason became crystal clear on Saturday when Montreal failed to score on a full two-minute 5-on-3 power play. No Montreal player moved from his set position for the entire two minutes. This let Buffalo have a very easy time of it. The Sabres did not need to move, and thus they were always in position to block dangerous passes. It was the easiest 5-on-3 kill any team has ever had to make.

Compare Montreal's abysmal two-man advantage with the 4-on-4 goal they scored earlier. Andrei Markov moved into the slot to receive a beautiful pass from Saku Koivu, finishing what had been fast-moving, and utterly confusing, offensive zone pressure. The Habs were dynamic, skating circles around a bewildered Sabres team. This is why Montreal's special teams have had so much previous success.

These days, Montreal's power play is static, with players opting for one-timers from a stationary point-man, or low-percetnage shots from the wing that usually end up missing the net and traveling along the boards past the blue line. Last year, Montreal's power play was fluid, with players rotating and causing utter confusion for the opposition.

The really frustrating thing about this is that Guy Carbonneau seems content to do nothing about it. He knows, or should know, what is wrong, and that some practice time and some sage advice are all that is needed to change it. Why he isn't doing anything is maddening. Either he thinks the power play is fine (which it isn't), or he has no idea what to do about it (which makes him borderline retarded). These players are professionals. Carbonneau has no problem benching players who aren't doing what he tells them to, so I find it hard to believe that all five players on Montreal's power play are being deliberately disobedient. No, more likely, Guy Carbonenau has specifically coached his team to play this way.

It's time for Bob Gainey to give Carbonneau a taste of his own medicine. Carbonneau likes to punish payers and make drastic changes the moment they do something wrong. It's time for Carbonneau to be accountable for his own terrible performance. It's time for a coach who doesn't mix names in a blender to find line combinations, and who actually knows something about the power play.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Habs-Bruins Recap: Montreal wins yet agai- wait, what? The Bruins won? SIX TO FUCKING ONE?

Yeah, so I was right. The days of the Habs owning the Bruins are over. So too appear to be the days of Mike Komisarek and Andrei Markov playing anything close to NHL-level defense, and, of crap I just can't go on.

So rather than trot out a laundry list of Canadiens who played utterly craptastic last night, let's look at the bright spot. Oh, right. There wasn't any. Aside from seeing Latendresse improve his skating and stickhandling, there wasn't much to brag about for the Habs.

Milan Lucic is fast becoming enemy number one for Montreal. He scored a goal and won a fight against Mike Komisarek, although I have this to say: If Jack Edwards is going to slander other teams' players by referring to them as "The coward (insert name here)", he needs to stop and consider that Lucic passed up several opportunities to fight Georges Laraque. So, in deference to Edwards, I have no choice but to now refer to him as "The Coward Lucic." Fair's fair.

Gripes aside, Boston deserved this win, and Montreal is going from Bad to Worse in the effort department. We'll probably start seeing Manny Fernandez getting most of the starts against Montreal from now on. Thomas has had zero luck against the Habs, and the change seems to have worked. Montreal came out strong for the first four minutes, and Fernandez was solid. That enabled Boston to find their rhythm and start hammering away.

Luckily for me, once Carey Price got the delay of game penalty four minutes into the second period, I knew it was all over. I turned off the game and played with my Wii (God, that sounds dirty) the rest of the evening. I did, however, suffer through the highlights* this morning so as to bring you all the best commentary around; you're welcome.

Boston has won five straight. Wow. Montreal will try to move on and hopefully give more than a four-minute effort against Filthydelphia on Saturday. Hey, Boston: Got any more of that Revenge Juice you drank before last night? We could use some before our rematch against the Pppphbblyers.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Habs-Bruins Preview #2

Both teams have some high expectations this year, but few predicted that Boston would be first in their division and second in the conference at any point in the season. Boston finds itself in just that situation, looking down at third-place Montreal.

Montreal shit the bed against the Leafs, but followed up with a season-best effort against the Senators on Tuesday. Price earned a shutout, Higgins had a hat-trick, and Montreal's penalty-kill was solid, and, more importantly, on the ice less much than in recent games. A major concern for the Habs is the play of its first line of Kovalev, Plekanec, and Andrei Kostitsyn. They have been uncharacteristically quiet, and fans are getting impatient.

Boston won in a shootout last night against the Blackhawks, and have now won in four straight games. Marc Savard has been outstanding with 16 points in 15 games. Tim Thomas isn't letting his lack of basic positioning get in the way of earning a stingy .946 save percentage.

Will fatigue play a factor tonight? It may be cliche, but watch for the Habs to sit back and wait until the third to put the pedal down and use their speed against the Bruins. Then again, these things never work out the way you expect. Watch for Boston to storm out of the gates tonight, buoyed by returning fans and adrenaline from their winning streak.

A new year brings new possibilities, and the days of the Habs owning the Bruins are over. Key players from Boston to watch are: Michael Ryder, Milan Lucic (Mike Komisarek's Secret Santa this year, for sure), and Savard.

The ship wasn't exactly knocked down, but it sure was listing until Tuesday's shutout against the Senators. The Habs have gotten by with some weak efforts so far, and need to start playing better. Key players tonight will be Mike Komisarek, Guillaume Latendresse (turning into a true power forward?), and Carey Price (We've seen how he responds to a 6-3 drubbing; how does he do following a shutout?).

Bottom line: two teams at the height of their game are meeting tonight, and it should be a good one.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Chris Lee: worse than Clarence Campbell

When the final number of power plays is ten to five, something is amiss. I've been following this trend for a while now, and it's finally so painfully obvious that I have to say something. I've always suspected that referee Chris Lee was biased against Montreal. He has made some weak calls in his time, and nine times out of ten, when I see a series of bad calls made against Montreal, and I check the box score, Chris Lee's name appears.


Thursday night was the clincher. I was in Kansas City (no Gary, no NHL team needed there) on business, so I didn't see the game. But I did notice that Montreal had to kill off TEN power plays. This is a pretty big number, and included a lot of tripping and holding calls. Basically, the question is, was this a typical game? If so, then no one can fault a referee for awarding ten power plays against an undisciplined team. So, let's take a look:

As of today, Montreal is tied for 11th in the league for the most penalties-in-minutes per game with 17.2. That means, that out of the 60 minutes (or more) per game, Montreal averages playing 17 minutes and 12 seconds with a man in the box. Now, let's throw out Thursday night's game. Without it, Montreal has a total 148 total penalties in minutes over nine games. That averages out to 16.4 penalties in minutes per game. So Thursday night saw Montreal's entire average shoot up almost an entire minute per game. So, statistically speaking, Thursday
was NOT a typical game for Montreal. They are usually MUCH more disciplined. Add to that Montreal is in the upper half of the league in the number of fighting majors, it becomes apparent that Montreal is quite disciplined; when they do get penalties, a good amount of the minutes come from actual fights, not from hooking and tripping.

So, maybe Montreal cut loose and played a hard-nosed game. But if that had been the case, there would have been at least one fighting major. As it turns out, Montreal was playing the least penalized team in the league and there were no fights. People did get to see Saku and Mikko Koivu in a scuffle near the end, but that was it.

So, in my book, it's official. Chris Lee is a biased referee with as much credibility as Tim Donaghy. Notice has been served to Montreal: when Chris lee is officiating, he does not want you to win.




As a post-script, I will readily admit that I have seen calls in Montreal's favor from some officials. But, as is human nature, we dwell on the negative. I really don't keep track of who is giving these gifts to Montreal, but when they happen, I roll my eyes and think of how they at least off-set all the crap from corrupt referees like Chris Lee.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Ducks-Habs Post-Mortem

I'll make this brief. Backchecking is good. Four of the Ducks six goals were scored on rushes where no forward was in position. Montreal outshot its opponent 51-25. Sure, Halak gave up four goals on twelve shots, but when you hang your goalie out to dry like the Habs did on those rushes and on a poor defensive breakdown, there's not much either Halak or Price can do. The Habs forward are to blame for this one.

The theme for today's practice? Backchecking, backchecking, some sprints, and then more backchecking.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Justice and Business

E from "A Theory of Ice" usually goes for the more existential articles, but I can't help myself. Plus, she ignored my request to be added to her blogroll, so there.
The Phoenix game brought one of the most particular aspects of the sport into plain view: the role of the enforcer. Kurt Sauer leveleld Andrei Kostitsyn with a vicious and borderline hit that took the winger out of the game. Something I thought of, and was surprised no one else has mentioned, is the fact that Andrei Kostitsyn is epileptic. He was drafted 10th overall because several other teams were concerned about the condition and passed him by. The condition has been kept under control with the help of medication, but I have always been slightly concerned that a concussion or other injury could shake something loose, so to speak. When I saw Andrei down on the ice and visibly struggling, this was the first thing that came to mind.

In any case, the hit was, as I described, borderline. If I had been a referee, I probably would not have even called a penalty on the play. These things happen SO fast, and referees do not have the benefit of seeing them in slow motion, as we do when we see the replay over and over. Granted, a referee has the option of assessing a penalty after the play once he sees the result, but it severely harms the official's credibility when he does so. We deplore the referee who makes a late decision seemingly based on how loud fans boo, or on whether a player is writhing in pain on the ice. I am convinced this is one reason why Boston fans still get upset when one mentions Mike Ribeiro. The stick to his midriff didn't look that bad, and it was only after he went down and started kicking and screaming did a penalty result. I refer, of course, to game three of the 2004 series between Montreal and Boston.

So what is a ref to do? He can't (or shouldn't) assess a penalty just because an injury happened. This is not the same as a stick-to-the-face that draws blood. A high stick is illegal, no matter what. A vicious check like the one that leveled Andrei is open to interpretation. It's one of those moments where there is no consensus. What must be made plain, however, is that injuring a player like Andrei Kostitsyn is NOT acceptable. It is not the referee's job to assess a penalty on Kurt Sauer for being too vigorous in his checking. So we rely upon an enforcer to make it clear that there is a price to be paid for borderline plays.

The next time Kurt Sauer was on the ice, Georges Laraque was there as well. And, predictably, Laraque shadowed Sauer throughout the shift, with every intention of starting a fight--a fight that Sauer declined. In the days before the instigator penalty, Laraque would not have had to ask. He would have simply dropped his gloves, begun pounding, and Sauer would have had no choice but to defend himself. Both men would have received five for fighting, and that would have been it. One must be wary of drawing an instigator penalty however, and Laraque never got the chance to fight Sauer. Sauer opted instead to fight Tom Kostopoulos. Kostopoulos has a habit of sticking up for teammates, but biting off more than he can chew. In this case, he got a few punches in, but was clearly the loser.

So why is it that I predicted, with %100 accuracy, what would result from Kostitsyn's injury? That Georges Laraque would be on the ice for Sauer's next shift, that he would try to fight him, and that eventually, SOMEONE would either take a run at, or actually fight Sauer? Because that is the system that has developed over the years. We EXPECT vigilante justice. You hurt our guy, we punch you in the face. It doesn't matter if the enforcer used to play on the other team (and he probably has in many cases). His job is to do what referees cannot. He has to make the other team's players think twice about going for that yard sale hit. Also, this is one of those times when vigilante justice is more efficient, and more desirable, than going through official channels. The first scene in "Batman" goes to the heart of the matter. A family gets mugged--what do they do, go to the police? The Police would make them fill out a report, get a description, and then go about the more important business of chasing murderers and rapists. Batman, however, saw the whole thing happen, and acts immediately. There is no scene where Batman gives the family their money back, however. There are further implications though. Suppose Batman witnesses a murder or rape about to happen? The police might not get there in time. So Batman acts immediately, taking matters into his own hands.

I forget the movie, but the quote is "It's not personal. It's business." I completely understand Sauer's exuberant hit. Had I been in the position to make the hit, I would have done so. But I also understand that actions have consequences, and that I should expect someone to come looking for retribution. This is the business of protecting star players. General Managers spend a lot of money on their stars, and they need an insurance policy on those players. For the same reason some folks argue for mandatory visors league-wide, GM's want to protect their star players from getting hurt. Messages have to be sent: "If you hurt our guy, our enforcer will come looking for blood." It's the same reason our judicial system concerns itself with Deterrent Penalties. While having an enforcer beat the shit out of a dirty opponent may feel good, the main purpose is to deter his teammates, and the rest of the league, from trying the same thing in the future.
This is the business of winning.

As Bride of Kovalev put it, after the hit, every Phoenix player was probably, ever so slightly, distracted by the possibility that Laraque would be looking for payback. What's more, other teams around the league do not operate in a bubble. They know exactly what happened to Andrei Kostitsyn, and what happened to the Coyotes as a result. If opponents are constantly looking over their shoulders, or even slightly distracted by Laraque's presence, the Canadiens stand a better chance to win.
It may not be "right" (a term I leave the philosophers to define). But it makes perfect sense. The person who complains about enforcers and the role of fighting in hockey has no idea about how the sport, or any business for that matter, operates.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Habs-Bruins Recap #1

OK. So, I let some time elapse to let tempers cool off. Habs played a good first period, shit the bed in the second and third. Bruins played well throughout, and thanks to a spectacularly ridiculous play with less than a minute left, got a point from the affair.

Montreal had better stop playing this turd-ass style, trying to force every play and making low-percentage passes and plays.
Prince answered the challenge with the awesome glove save he made against Chara, despite being scored on 20 seconds later. Guillaume Latendresse is officially a Putz, despite Bride of Kovalev's amorous inclinations towards him.

Speaking of BoK, She made an interesting point last night: Why is it no one is allowed to say anything bad about Tim Thomas? She compared it to criticizing a retard--we all know he really isn't that great, but it's taboo to say anything. "You can't say that! That's awful. At least he tries really hard..."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Habs-Bruins Preview #1 of like, 20 games they play against each other this season

Tonight the Montreal Canadiens open their first home game of the season against the rival Boston Bruins. We all know the history: last season Habs went 8-0, but Boston took them to game 7 in the first round of the playoffs.

The Bruins have added erstwhile Canadien Michael Ryder, and also have Patrice Bergeron back. Bergeron has always personally done well against the Habs, and I fully expect Ryder to bring his A-game. He has a knack for coming up big in pressure situations, with the exception of last season's UFA debacle. He was also coached by, and thrived under, Claude Julien in both the AHL and NHL.
The Bruins will be missing Glen Metropolit this season. He's not a superstar, but he brought chemistry and grit to the Bruins and his absence is bigger than many people may realize. Boston seemed to signal a "rebuilding" clue with the trade and Alberts this week. That one remains a mystery to me.
Of course, we'll roll the dice to see who gets the start in net for the Bruins, and what kind of performance we'll see out of him.

Key players tonight: Bergeron, Ryder, Zdeno Chara


Montreal has added two key players in Alex Tanguay and Robert Lang. So far, so good for them. Now we'll see how Carey Price can play. His glove hand has looked as bad as a Beer-league benchwarmer's so far, so that remains a crucial aspect if Price is going to see continued success. He is also the latest in a long line of Melanson-coached goalies who go down too early, so that may also become a factor. Boston's grit was a major part of the heart-attack series last year, and Montreal has tried to address that with the addition of Laraque.
Alexei Kovalev sent thank-you notes to Chara during the off-season for so many warm invitations to score on Tim Thomas last year, so that might be something to watch for. Latendresse did not send any such warm regards for the multiple pastings he received at the albatross's hands during last year's playoffs.

Key players tonight: Kovalev, Sergei Kostitsyn, Latendresse

I don't make predictions, but I do anticipate more of the same from last season's playoffs. Montreal will have its hands full with Ryder, Bergeron, Kessel, and Savard. Boston, on the other hand, may have trouble keeping up with Montreal's three fast-attack scoring lines.

What say you, P-stone and Derek? Habs win, the colors on the site stay Red/Blue, Bruins win, we go to (YUCK) Black/Gold?

Monday, October 13, 2008

This Just in: Flyers=little bitches

Memo to Scott Hartnell: when the game is over, don't try to railroad the biggest guy on the other team. (It's kinda bad form when you take out your frustrations from losing 5-3 after the game is over--it makes you look like a little bitch.)

Memo to Joffrey Lupul: 1: it's Geoffrey. Spell it right. 2: Don't go toe-to-toe with the biggest guy from the other team after he got hit by your little bitch teammate. It's kinda bad form to lose a fight after losing the game (which was already over.)

Come to think of it, combined with Briere (The little-bitchiest of the little bitches--he's their King, really), and Mike Richards (captain bitch), the Phhhbbbblyers team in general is a bastion of little-bitchery, where playing dirty seems to equal playing physical. (Another memo: it doesn't.) The Flyers think they're better than they are, and they sure as hell think they're tougher than they are.

That is all.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Please dear Jesus, Lord in Heaven, can we finally get rid of Breeze-by?!?

As Ghandi said, "Oh God." That was my reaction every time Patrice Brisebois came near the puck, or, more accurately, came near any Sabre carrying the puck. I didn't keep an accurate tally, but there were at least two giveaways, two completely missed checks that led to odd-man rushes, and one stupid bone-headed idiot rookie dumbass go-back-to-the-ECHL-right-now penalty.
I was actually supremely shocked that Guy Carbonneau did not simply shoot him during the second intermission, and even more suprised to see him actually out on the ice for the third period.
Can Bob Gainey and Carbonneau PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE give the poor fans some peace of mind and send this ass-turd packing? I mean, instead of playing Dandenault on the fourth line, why not put him on defense and let someone else have a chance? I dunno, someone named either Chipchura or Paciorrety? I hear both of those kids aren't half bad. But what do I know? I'm sure there's a reason the team plays Brisebois, the most overrated putz to don the Bleu-blanc-rouge since Donald Audette.
And I'll tell you this: Bob Gainey can defend him all he wants, call Habs fans "not real fans" all he wants, but until Breeze-by is shipped out of Montreal, replete with a Tar/Feather tuxedo, TRUE Habs fans are duty-bound to boo this asshole. We who boo him are the real fans, Bob. Until Breezer goes, Gainey and Carbonneau do not deserve our respect.

As a follow-up, I in no way blame last night's loss on Brisebois's play. That is another matter entirely, and there was much more going on than just Breeze-by's ass-hattery. I'm just getting my Breeze-by digs in early.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Milf to Drop Puck at Opening Faceoff


So the Pbbbbhhhhlyers are letting that milfy hockey-mom drop the puck at tonight's game. Nice move. I wonder if we can politicize some other aspects of hockey? Canadians booing the US national anthem comes to mind. I would find it crass, no matter WHAT the candidate, were he/she to participate in the opening ceremonies for a sports team. What relationship does she have to Philadelphia? Well, we'll see if any of the fans boo her. Knowing Philly fans, they probably will.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Blah blah blah, Habs play Bruins, etc...


Yeah, so the Habs played the Bruins the other night. Won 3-1, doesn't mean dinky doo.
It was good to see the power play clicking, and Jaroslav Halak looks pretty good, but a reminder:
It's the pre-season.
Back in 02-03, the Habs went undefeated in the pre-season. They did not even qualify for the post-season. So there.

And by the way, wtf are they booing Ryder for? Oh right: acrimonious contract negotiations every friggin year, and a craptastic UFA season. It was obvious he would never stay for very long--my money was actually on him going to Toronto. Well, Boston, hope Caillou works out for you.

Monday, September 29, 2008


It is with great sadness that we announce the passing of all-time great player/coach Reggie Dunlop (AKA Paul Newman). Dunlop was best known for implementing a hard-nosed brand of violent play, which led the Charlestown Chiefs to the champeenship of the Federal Hockey league in 1977. After the Chiefs franchise subsequently folded, Dunlop (Newman) went into the salad dressing business and also had some cameo roles in "The Color of Money" and "Road to Perdition."

One of the most memorable events in Dunlop's life occurred during the run up to the 1977 championship when Dunlop informed the opposing team's goalie, Tommy Hanrahan, that his wife "suck[ed] pussy." After becoming increasingly enraged at the taunts of his wife being a "dyke" and "lesbian," Hanrahan abandoned his goal and engaged in two separate fights with Dunlop. When asked to comment on what had happened on the ice, Dunlop replied, "I told him his wife was a dyke."

Friday, September 26, 2008

Michael Phelps' Olympic Gold Medals Found Tainted with Melamine


As the melamine crisis in China grows, new reports are surfacing that China, in order to conserve precious gold resourses, used the toxic chemical Melamine in the production of the gold medals athletes received at the 2008 Olympics games. While gold medals, unlike milk and baby formula, are not normally ingested, many have expressed concern that athletes have placed their lips on the medals in symbolic kisses, or even put the medals into their mouths in order to bite them (in an age-old test of the soft metal's purity) during photo ops.


Chinese officials have not responded to these latest allegations stemming from what is becoming a national crisis, which began with the discovery of melamine in baby formula produced within China.

Micheal Phelps, who won a record eight gold medals in the Beijing Olympics, has expressed deep concern: "I won eight of those suckers, and I kissed every one of them! Now I'm going to get eight kidney stones!"

So far, the International Olympic Committee has not made any statements, preferring to continue planning for their upcoming announcement, where it is widely believed they will award the next Olympic Games to Zimbabwe.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier...

Ok, so the first pre-season game for both Montreal and Boston was last night in Halifax. Bruins (God damn them all) whupped up on the Habbies: final score 8-3.

Good to see you back, Patrice Bergeron. Now, if you could please stop being awesome.

Tanguay gets his first point as a Canadien. Hopefully the purty passing was a hint of things to come.

I'm not going to go into too much depth here, suffice to say that this is a warmup, and neither team had anything close to an NHL roster. Credit where it's due though: Bruins pwned the Habs. Of course, I don't need to tell anyone that the pre-season matters for dinky doo.

The link should explain everything if you don't understand the references.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

HELL YEAH!

The wait is finally over. Sundin can leave that fence post up his ass as long as he wants, the chicken-swede. You hear me Mats? You have our permission to play hide and go fuck yourself.

I have always liked Robert Lang, and I'm really excited about him coming to Montreal. He's not as flashy as a Mats Sundin or Alexei Kovalev, but he's dependable.
So, for the upcoming season, the lines are looking something like this:

Kovalev, Plekanec, A. Kostitsyn
Tanguay, Lang, S. Kostitsyn
Higgins, Koivu, Kostopoulos
Lapierre, Chipchura, Laraque

(Latendresse and Begin in reserve, and will probably rotate with Kostopoulos and the entire fourth line.)

Defense looks something like:

Markov, Komisarek
Hamrlik, Gorges
O'Byrne, Bouillon

(Dandenault and Breeze-by digging splinters outta their asses while they ride pine all season whilst eating Bell Centre hot dogs)

And of course in goal, the overrated and inexperienced Carey Price, saddled with nothing less than the expectation that he transmogrify into Patrick Roy.
If that doesn't work out, we've got Denis and Halak to stuff between the pipes and get shell-shocked.

I am very glad to see that Saku Koivu will finally have the burden of primary scoring lifted from his shoulders, as he moves into a secondary scoring/checking role that he should have been filling for the past three years. But I won't be surprised when Lang and Tanguay falter to see him centering the first or second line again. I'm just glad that's not how he's starting the season.

Now I am really interested to see the beginning of the season.
Thank you, Bob Gainey, for finally dealing for some quality players, while keeping our talented youngsters. I won't go so far as to say I think this team can win the Cup, but they finally have the right mix of premiere players, solid veterans, and rising stars (along with a dash of knuckle-sandwich). Now, it all comes down the big question mark in goal. We'll see if Price is the real deal.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Coutdown...

OMG somebody help me!!!! I cannot wait to the start of the season!!!! And I cannot wait for the start of the fantasy hockey season as I look to repeat in '08!!!!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A little something to pass the time:


Hit him again, Claude. Hit him again.

I intend to follow through on my promise to wipe my ass with Red Wings jerseys this year. I'll teach you to have your little shithead take a dump in the Stanley Cup.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Not exactly hockey, but...


Pathological liars, bipolar nutjobs, and hypocritical, over-sensitive children, begone!


Frabjous day!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Another useless post

Kevin Lowe and Jimmy Stewart





Total boredom with the offseason gives rise to: Separated at Birth!






Tim Roth, known for his role as "Mr. Orange" in Resevoir Dogs, seems to share an uncanny resemblance to Mike Vernon, champion goaltender, and newly hired front-office guy in Tampa Bay.






Tuesday, July 15, 2008

They finally went and did it

Kris Draper let his kid take a dump in the Stanley Cup.

In the quest for ever more ridiculous and wacky things to do with the Cup, hockey players have bathed their babies in it, taken it to the tops of mountains, and jumped on trampolines with it. So where do we go from there? Why, we defile it, of course.

Let's not beat around the bush here. Kris Draper let his snot-nosed rugrat kid take a shit in the Holy Grail of hockey. Furthermore, Draper was quoted saying, "We had a pretty good laugh."
Interesting thing, Kris: I don't find that funny at all. Maybe I'll start using Red Wings jerseys to wipe my ass from now on.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Marian Hossa: Traitor, Opportunist, or Idealist?

In the aftermath of Marian Hossa, signing with Detroit, I'd like to take a look at the three gut reactions I've seen from people. Some are calling him a flat-out traitor for abandoning the Penguins and signing with the very team that beat them for the Stanley Cup. Others are more sympathetic (and reasonable) but still think Hossa is going with the "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach. They see Hossa as being mercenary in his decision. Then there are a few (not many) who instead think of Hossa as being the kind of hockey player we all want on our teams. They think of Hossa as a guy who, instead of riches or fame, is determined to win the Cup.

Those who are calling Hossa a traitor are largely made up of Penguins fans who see his signing with Detroit as an insult. "Why doesn't he want to play with Crosby," they ask. They say all sorts of untrue and ridiculous things like, he's trying to stick it to Pittsburgh for not giving him a good contract, or that he's a cold-blooded snake who's going to the highest bidder. Let me set the record straight. Johnny Damon is a traitorous mercenary who not only went to the highest bidder, he went to his former club's age-old rival. He left thousands of fans who has paid good money for Damon jerseys, and a cult following that embraced him and his crazy hairdo, all while playfully kidding about his less-than-stellar arm. And he stabbed those people in the back.

If anyone bought a Penguins Hossa jersey, they're a fool. He was with Pittsburgh for less than half a season. He was traded there, and everyone knew he might not stay. He had not built up a fanbase or a cult following of any kind. He got on the plane like he was told and flew to Pittsburgh to finish his contract. True, going all the way to the finals makes a team into a very tight group, and it's hard to leave that behind. But Hossa was a rental, and everyone knew it. Detroit is not a hated rival of the Penguins. If Hossa had gone to the Flyers, those Penguins fans might have a point. But Detroit is in a different conference, and there is NO history between these two clubs beyond these most recent finals.

Which brings us to those who are calling Hossa an opportunist. They see his motivation as being selfish. Some think he is going to the highest bidder (which is false), while others are actually faulting him for going where he thinks he can win. The simple fact is, Hossa signed a one-year deal at 7.45 million dollars. That may seem like a lot, but when Mats Sundin is getting offers at 20 million for two seasons, and Daniel Briere made 10 million last year, it's actually below his market value. Even more surprising is the one-year deal. Players typically never want one-year contracts. It puts pressure on them to perform, and puts their future in question. If he's hurt next year his value will quickly plummet. Players usually seek out multi-year deals that will provide a guranteed income for a long time. Hossa instead has opted for a short-term, below market value deal. His reason, of course, is obvious in that he wants to play for a winner.

Some people are actually faulting him for that decision. They are usually the same people who rant and rave about stars who care only about money, players who line their own pockets at the expense of both their teams and their own playoff success. Apologies to Bruins fans, but Zdeno Chara is an example. He is grossly overpaid, went to the highest bidder (a team that had little precedent of success), and his salary is eating up cap space that could instead be used to provide quality teammates. I would classify Nikolai Khabibulin the same way, though his contract now seems much more affordable given the rapid inflation in salaries.

Marian Hossa should instead be compared to Ray Bourque. Bourque wanted, more than anything else, to win the Cup with the Bruins. When that dream was dashed, he reluctantly opted for simply winning the Cup (every good Canadian's dream).
Here we come to it. Every hockey player has a favorite team growing up, and a dream of winning the Stanley Cup. When the dream of playing in the NHL becomes reality, it is time to put aside the naive loyalty to one's hometown or the team he grew up cheering for. Ray Bourque was born in/near Montreal, but his loyalty was to the team that made him an NHL player. We fans are allowed the luxury of cheering for whoever we want, regardless of how bad their organization or management is. (Blackhawks fans, back me up here.) NHL players have to see beyond that and play for organizations they believe in. For some NHLers, they have to simply find employment where they can find it. And so, the only real dream a hockey player has left is to win the Stanley Cup. But many Europeans are criticized for their indifference to the Cup. They are largely accused of lacking the determination to win the Cup that most North Americans have.

Marian Hossa, a Slovakian, has one obvious purpose. He wants to win the Stanley Cup. He has sacrificed money and long-term security in order to play for a winner. He will make Detroit a better team, and Detroit will give him the opportunity win. We cannot fault him for his decision. We should instead praise his determination. When we say that players should not be so concerned with money, that the Cup is all that should matter, we'd better mean it.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Strike Two

Bob Gainey, already down a strike for whiffing on Marion Hossa, has managed to swing at a ball in the dirt, thereby proving he is both an asshole and an idiot. He has just traded Mikhail Grabovski to the Maple Leafs for some asshole named Greg Pateryn and a second round pick in some year that is not even close to being soon. The disturbing thing here is that Grabs had some awesome upside, but he was not one of Guy Carbonneau and Bob Gainey's favored butt-boys (a la Latendresse, Higgins, or Brisebois). So Bob and Guy decided not to use the speedy German (or Michael Ryder, who has a knack for big-game play) when the Habs got behind the 8-ball against the Flyers last year.

And so, Bob and Guy have decided to blame Grabovski for a lack of offensive production, which they think had nothing to do with the fact that they never LET HIM PLAY. Another good player goes bye-bye for a song (just like Huet) and Bob Gainey pats himself on the back for being a shrewd dealer. All his fanboys will praise him for yet more addition by subtraction, but I've seen through the bullshit folk-hero myth he has cultivated: Bob has one strike left. He'd better as hell sign some big free agent like Sundin, or I will start to write daily letters demanding his termination.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

T-minus 1 hour and 48 minutes to free agency...

Free agency is less than 2 hours away. Outside of the playoffs, this is my favorite time for hockey (at least the first couple days anyway).

There are mixed sources that the Bruins are going to make a run after Marian Hossa. The Boston papers are saying that there is absolutely no possibility of the B's nabbing him. However, sources out of NY say the Bruins are putting together a serious offer of 12 years, in the range of $100 million for the most sought after figure on the market.

As much as I would LOVE to see Marian Hossa in a Bruins uniform, and how badly this team needs a player of his statue, I do not think it would be smart for the Bruins to make an offer such as this. Hossa is 29, and to sign a guy for that long, who will turn 30 next season, does not make sense from a long term standpoint, especially for a team who seems to be building from a youth movement (although you never know what management of this team will do). Besides lets face the fact, this team WILL NOT be making a serious run at the cup anytime soon. After watching this Bruin team against the Canadiens in the playoffs this year, I can take the homer route and say that this team is one Marian Hossa type of player away from being a serious contender (I think I was at the time), but from a realistic standpoint, Hossa will not solve this teams problems, and if anything he will only bring on more future problems for this team. I think he is too big of a cap hit for a team that needs a lot more than just a prominent goal scorer.

I love the idea of the Glen Murray for Mathieu Schneider swap. Murray, in my eyes, has seen his better days behind him, and realistically doesn't fit in this team long term. Schneider, I think can be a Chris Chelios type and play well into his 40's. The NHL is set up now for puck moving defensemen to extend the longevity of their careers. Spend the money to pick up a young, puck moving defenseman a la Brian Campell, Wade Redden. The Bruins already have a great player in Patrice Bergeron coming back this season. That's the equivilant of a top freee agent signing itself.

So if Hossa signs with the Hub, I guess that leaves me no choice but to jump on the bandwagon. If he goes somewhere else, I would give kudos to the B's brass for not making that long term commitment. Copy what the the Canadiens are doing. Build from within, then spend the money on the key pieces to put you over the top. I can't believe I just said that...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

As a special reward (and consolation prize) to all the participants of this year's pool, I present to you a website I found: Hot Chicks with the Stanley Cup! Hooray!

http://theworldofisaac.blogspot.com/2008/05/hot-chicks-with-lord-stanley.html

It's a Tie-Breaker!

OK, this is a tough call to have to make. Derek and P-stone, after four rounds, have an equal amount of points. I checked on the rules I made for this year, and after considering how many players each person has from the cup-winner (Each of you has one), I said that the person with the most players left overall would win. Well, that's P-stone. Also, he has the Conn Smythe winner.

So, without further delay, I hereby declare P-Stone the winner of this year's Playoff Pool. Congratulations to you sir, and also to Derek for making this such a painful decision to make. I wish I could get two trophies for you guys.


P-Stone: 152 (145)
Zetterberg (Det) G,A,W=4
Malkin (Pit) G,A=3
Fleury (Pit) 0


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 152 (146)
Datsyuk (Det) 2A,W=3
Hossa, (Pit) G,A=3


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 109 (105)
Crosby (Pit) A=1
Rafalski (Det) G,W=3


Go Wings: 95 (93)
Gonchar (Pit) A=1
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 83 (82)
Lidstrom (Det) W=1


Pittsburgh 2 - Detroit 4


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 80
Whitney (Pit)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

The Captain's rant...

This is a short post but I had to get the rant out. Even though the finals have absolutely sucked to watch, along with the rest of the playoffs - the 3rd period of game 5 was probably the most exciting hockey that I have watched post-lockout!!!! The Wings were less than 35 seconds away from hoisting Lord Stanley's cup (yet again) to only have that taken away and possibly (more unlikely) wont get that opportunity with a Penguin wins in game 6 and 7. But as good as the period was, overtime was that much worse, that I actually found myself begging for ANYBODY to score to end it so I could go to bed. I should not feel that way when watching the possible closeout game of the finals in overtime!!!!!

And why the hell is Bob Neumeier hosting this on NBC?

Barry Melrose - please stay where you are on ESPN and DO NOT coach the Lightning. John Tortella got the shaft here. There is no possible justification for firing this guy. In my opinion, he is one of the top 5 coaches in the NHL. He turned that franchisee around to win the cup a few yrs back. I know the Lighting were bad this yr, and last yr, but does anybody remember how bad the Lightning really were before they won the cup a few yrs back? Lightning front office - its not the coach - its you!!!! You will NEVER win another championship if you dont figure out the key to winning like every other successful team has - QUALITY GOALTENDING!!!! Mike Smith is your answer? Give me a break! john Tortella can coach my team anyday...

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Scores and Standings

Unfortunately for Derek, the Penguins won last night, prolonging the finals, and setting up yet another nail-biter on wednesday. That's my anniversary, so I'm not sure if I'll get to watch the game...

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 146 (140)
Datsyuk (Det) G=2
Hossa, (Pit) G,A,W=4


Stoner: 145 (140)
Zetterberg (Det) 2A=2
Malkin (Pit) A,W=2
Fleury (Pit) W=1


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 105 (99)
Crosby (Pit) 2A,W=3
Rafalski (Det) G,A=3


Go Wings: 93 (91)
Gonchar (Pit) A,W=2
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 82
Lidstrom (Det)


Pittsburgh 2 - Detroit 3


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 80 (79)
Whitney (Pit) W=1

Monday, June 2, 2008

Scores and Standings

Whew. Now that I have gotten the snarkiness out of my system, here's the scores and standings.
Not much else can be said ab out the race between P-Stone and Derek. It seems P-stone is suffering from Malkin's lack of production and Fleury's playing for the wrong side. If Stoner does win, it will be on the back of Zetterberg, who is likely to win the Conn Smythe trophy.

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 140 (136) Datsyuk (Det) A,W=2Hossa, (Pit) G=2


Stoner: 140 (139)
Zetterberg (Det) W=1
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 99 (96)
Crosby (Pit) A=1
Rafalski (Det) A,W=2


Go Wings: 91 (89)
Gonchar (Pit) A=1
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 82 (79)
Lidstrom (Det) G,W=3


Pittsburgh 1 - Detroit 3


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 79
Whitney (Pit)

Scores and Standings

Whew. Now that I have gotten the snarkiness out of my system, here's the scores and standings.
Not much else can be said ab out the race between P-Stone and Derek. It seems P-stone is suffering from Malkin's lack of production and Fleury's playing for the wrong side. If Stoner does win, it will be on the back of Zetterberg, who is likely to win the Conn Smythe trophy.

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 140 (136)
Datsyuk (Det) A,W=2
Hossa, (Pit) G=2


Stoner: 140 (139)
Zetterberg (Det) W=1
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 99 (96)
Crosby (Pit) A=1
Rafalski (Det) A,W=2


Go Wings: 91 (89)
Gonchar (Pit) A=1
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 82 (79)
Lidstrom (Det) G,W=3


Pittsburgh 1 - Detroit 3


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 79
Whitney (Pit)

Friday, May 30, 2008

This is the sort of shit that pisses me off:

Gary Bettman has got to go. Whether he gets fired, quits, or someone shoots him dead in the street, I hope it happens soon.

A leaked copy of league revenue http://www.thestar.com/Sports/Hockey/article/433906 shows that Canadian teams were six of the seven top teams in ticket revenue for the 2007-2008 season. Furthermore, those six Canadian teams (which comprise one fifth of the league) account for ONE THIRD of the league's ticket revenue.

What that means is that teams like Phoenix, Nashville, Atlanta, and other backwater cesspools of hockey hell are dead weight; dragging the rest of the league down with their non-existant fanbase and communistic revenue-sharing.

A further implication of this report is not only is it Canadian teams that are pulling the weight, it suggests that the NHL needs to pay more attention to traditional markets, which include New England and the Northern US.

Gary Bettman has been a failure. His philosophy of ignoring and deliberately shutting out Canadian fans, owners, and potential owners in favor of expanding into non-traditional markets has been catastrophic. In the report you will see that 11 of the 24 US teams were flat or LOST ticket income compared to last year. Any guesses as to where those 11 teams are located? Well, here's a fact: Phoenix is at the bottom of the list in terms of ticket revenue.

Gary Bettman still insists on shutting out Jim Ballsillie, who wanted to take one of those sack-of-shit teams in Phoenix or Nashville and relocate it to a place where people would actually buy tickets and watch the games on TV.
"No, we don't like to see fans to come to games, or get local market TV contracts, or work with national sportscasters, or actualy PLAY THE FUCKING SPORT (2004-2005 season)" says Bettman.

And now Bettman is looking into further expanding his crumbling league into Kansas City or Las Vegas. Kansas City. Hmmm, sounds familiar...I guess the logic goes like this: Atlanta failed the firt time, and the second time around it's under dysfunctional management, playing in front of an apathetic (and largely absent) population--this is fun! Lets do it in another failed NHL city too!
And hell, Phoenix is a desert town, they suck, so let's do the SAME THING in Vegas!

Here's why you should be pissed off: Teams that matter, IE, those in real markets like Boston, New York*, and Canada, those with real fans, are suffering because of the crap teams. Bettman forced revenue-sharing with the lockout. What that means is, every time you buy a ticket, or pay your centre ice cable bill, or buy a Bruins, Rangers, or Canadiens jersey/hat/pink panties (oops), you are, in fact, helping pay the mortgage of a shit team like the Florida Panthers. The money you spend on your favorite team gets re-distributed to the owners of southern teams that don't make a dime, pollute the talent pool, and make hockey into a poorly-attended laughingstock.

Without Bettman, we would have had no lockout, and thus, no revenue-sharing, and no salary cap. We would also not have had to deal with overexpansion. So, instead of watching Ilya Kovalchuk waste his time and efforts in Atlanta, Boston fans could be watching him play in a Bruins jersey. Ollie Jokinen could be on the same line with Saku Koivu. Martin Erat could be playing in a city where people actually knew his name.

I am sick to death of the mismanagement of this shit-ass league.

*although the report also shows that those fuck-wit Islanders fans are just as useful as those morons in North Carolina who think the Canadiens' logo is a "Habitron". Islanders fans are excused from being considered "traditional". Buy an effing Rangers sweater and shut up.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Scores and Standings

So Pittsburgh has made it a series. Watching Detroit last night, I got a sense of what it must have been like to see the Canadiens play in the 70's. Although the Wings lost, they are excellent in every aspect of the game. It's obvious that this is a team that expects to win, and is used to winning. I was watching outstanding hockey last night, from both teams.

And I'm sorry, but Holmstrom got what he deserved. When you are constantly running a team's goalie, you'd better be prepared to get some bad treatment when you go towards the net. I was most impressed with Orpik's behavior towards the Wings last night.


Stoner: 139 (137)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit) W=1
Fleury (Pit) W=1


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 136 (133)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit) A,A,W=3


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 96 (91)
Crosby (Pit) G,G,W=5
Rafalski (Det)


Go Wings: 89 (88)
Gonchar (Pit) W=1
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 79 (78)
Lidstrom (Det) A=1


Pittsburgh 1 - Detroit 2


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 79 (78)
Whitney (Pit) W=1

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Scores and Standings

My deepest apologies for not posting Game 1's results. I was in Pennsyilvania this weekend visting my parents, and they don't have any internets at their house. Hell, they don't even have a laundry machine in their new house, so forget doing that big load of stinky clothes we brought.
Today's Scores and Standings reflects both game 1 and 2.

P-stone is widening his lead, but anything can happen. Especially if the Penguins came back and make it a series (which I think they will).


Stoner: 137 (132)
Zetterberg (Det) G,A,W,W=5
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 133 (131)
Datsyuk (Det) W,W=2
Hossa, (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 91 (89)
Crosby (Pit)
Rafalski (Det) W,W=2


Go Wings: 88 (86)
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det) W,W=2


Michael Corleone: 78 (75)
Lidstrom (Det) A,W,W=3


Pittsburgh 0 - Detroit 2


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 78
Whitney (Pit)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

On another note:

Can someone tell me where these announcers get off telling us that it's "tradition" for players to not even touch the Wales or Campbell trophies? This is a VERY recent development. I remember team captains as recently as 1999 holding, and in some cases, raising the trophy, especially at home.

Now, there may be something to a "don't pretend it's the Stanley Cup" mindset. I'm sure many of us remember the Red Wings in 1995 raising the Campbell trophy over their heads in celebration, only to be swept by the Devils. That, I believe, was the beginning of this "tradition" of being somewhat deferential about the conference trophy, but players still were at least HOLDING the trophy for the photo-op and to reward their fans.

I think I can recall this no-touch bullshit really beginning in 2003 when the Ducks and Devils both refused to even touch their trophies. If someone can provide some evidence of this in earlier years, please enlighten me.

Bottom line, is this may be superstition, but it sure as hell isn't a long-standing tradition, and there sure isn't a lot of precedent for it. And these announcers (I'm looking at you Mike Emrick--but then again, you think Andrei and Dany Markov are brothers, retard) ought to know better than to throw out ignorant bullshit that insults the intelligence of real fans.

Scores and Standings

Hooray, Red Wings win. Now on to the Cup Final. Who will win, Pittsburgh or Detroit? And more importantly, who will win this pool? Stoner has squeaked ahead, but no lead is safe when Hossa and Datsyuk are scoring.


Stoner: 132 (128)
Zetterberg (Det) G,A,W=4
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 131 (128)
Datsyuk (Det) G,W=3
Hossa, (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 89 88
Crosby (Pit)
Rafalski (Det) W=1


Go Wings: 86 (85)
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 75 (73)
Lidstrom (Det) A,W=2


Pittsburgh 4 - Philadelphia 1
Detroit 4 - Dallas 2


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 78
Whitney (Pit)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Scores and Standings

Well well. Derek and Patrick tied. AGAIN. This is awesome. Who will prevail?
Pittsburgh finally puts the Flyers down. Yay, Philly sucks. Now, Philly has to also weather a firestorm as another scandal rocks the city:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt2AAenVpKg

Does anyone else see the similarities between Malkin and Lemieux? And God help me, I'm starting to become a fan of Crosby. He still needs to shave that dirty rat facial hair of his though.


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 128 (122)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit) G,A,A,A,W


Stoner: 128 (123)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit) G,W=3
Fleury (Pit) SO=2


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 88 (85)
Crosby (Pit) A,A,W=3
Rafalski (Det)


Go Wings: 85 (83)
Gonchar (Pit) A,W=2
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 73
Lidstrom (Det)


Pittsburgh 4 - Philadelphia 1
Detroit 3 - Dallas 2


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 78 (77)
Whitney (Pit) W=1

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Scores and Standings: Unchanged from Saturday's game

Stoner: 123
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 122
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 85
Crosby (Pit)
Rafalski (Det)


Go Wings: 83
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 73
Lidstrom (Det)


Pittsburgh 3 - Philadelphia 0
Detroit 3 - Dallas 1


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 77
Whitney (Pit)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Scores and Standings:Updated 5-16-08

Due to Pittsburgh's loss last night, and the fact that no one from this league was involved in the scoring, the points remain unchanged.

Stoner: 123 (121)
Zetterberg (Det) G=2
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 122 (121)
Datsyuk (Det) A=1
Hossa, (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 85
Crosby (Pit)
Rafalski (Det) 0


Go Wings: 83
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det) 0


Michael Corleone: 73
lidstrom (Det) 0


Pittsburgh 3 - Philadelphia 0
Detroit 3 - Dallas 1


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 77
Whitney (Pit)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Scores and Standings

Derek is right. This is actually more interesting than the actual games being played. I'm hoping this goes down to the wire, and I also believe that one of you two has the Conn Smythe winner on your team. Thanks for making these playoffs interesting for the rest of us.


Stoner: 121 (118)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit) A,W=2
Fleury (Pit) W=1


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 121 (116)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit) G,G,W=5


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 85 (82)
Crosby (Pit) A,A,W=3
Rafalski (Det)


Go Wings: 83 (81)
Gonchar (Pit) A,W=2
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 73
Lidstrom (Det)


Pittsburgh 3 - Philadelphia 0
Detroit 3 - Dallas 0


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 77 (74)
Whitney (Pit) G,W=3

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Scores and Standings

Stoner: 118 (113)
Zetterberg (Det) G,A,A,W=5
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 116 (109)
Datsyuk (Det) G,G,G,W=7
Hossa, (Pit)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 82 (79)
Crosby (Pit)
Rafalski (Det) A,A,W=3


Go Wings: 81 (80)
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 73 (72)
Lidstrom (Det) W=1


Is Dallas even trying?

Pittsburgh 2 - Philadelphia 0
Detroit 3 - Dallas 0


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 74
Whitney (Pit)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Scores and Standings

Stoner: 113 (111)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit) W=1
Fleury (Pit) W=1


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 109 (106)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit) G,W=3


Go Wings: 80 (76)
Gonchar (Pit) A,A,A,W=4
Hasek (Det)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 79 (75)
Crosby (Pit) G,A,W=4
Rafalski (Det)


Michael Corleone: 72
Lidstrom (Det)

Flyers lose, say that's good. Mickey Ribs is up to his usual shenanigans: he's a turd.
Bride of Kovalev put it best when she said that the Flyers don't deserve to be in the conference finals. Bottom line is, they're dirty and overrated.

Pittsburgh 2 - Philadelphia 0
Detroit 2 - Dallas 0


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 74 (73)
Whitney (Pit) W=1

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Memo to Flyers Fans: You are all animals and deserve to be put down.

Watching Braden Coburn take a puck to the face tonight made me realize something. When opposition players go down in Philadelphia, their moronic fans boo. They boo while the player is down, and when he gets up, the boo louder. Watch the replay in Pittsburgh. The fans in Mellon Arena cheered, or at least politely applauded Coburn when he got back up. No one likes to see injured players, unless they're animal Flyers fans who are conditioned by their brief and spotty history of success during the 70's with a team full of jackass douchebags who eventually got a taste of their own medicine and have never been able to take it since.

Flyers fans are assholes. They are fuck-up morons who wouldn't know real hockey if it slashed them in the face with a goalie stick. Oh, and as I'm watching, I'd like you to know that Scotty Upshall is a pussy. And Steve Downie can suck the ass of any Bruins fans who are into that sort of thing. And Derien Hatcher is an over-the-hill fraud.

Scores and Standings

My apologies for skipping a day. This refelects both Friday and Saturday's games.

Stoner: 111 (101)
Zetterberg (Det) G,W=3
Malkin (Pit) G,G,A,W=6
Fleury (Pit) W=1


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 106 (102)
Datsyuk (Det) A,W=2
Hossa, (Pit) A,W=2


Go Wings: 76 (73)
Gonchar (Pit) A,W=2
Hasek (Det) W=1


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 75 (71)
Crosby (Pit) G,W=3
Rafalski (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 72 (71)
Lidstrom (Det) W=1


P-Stone has overtaken Derek! And I've got a funny feeling that this time, P-stone will not give up 1st place. This has been a fun battle to watch, and it will probably stay pretty competitive.

Pittsburgh 1 - Philadelphia 0
Detroit 2 - Dallas 0


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 73 (71)
Whitney (Pit) A,W=2

Friday, May 9, 2008

Scores and Standings

After a protracted absence, the Scores and Standings are back. My mandatory grieving period is over, and now I can say Go Penguins (ugh).

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 102 (101)
Datsyuk (Det) W=1
Hossa, (Pit)


Stoner: 101 (99)
Zetterberg (Det) A,W=2
Malkin (Pit)
Fleury (Pit)


Go Wings: 73 (72)
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 71 (68)
Lidstrom (Det) A,A,W=3


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 71 (68)
Crosby (Pit)
Rafalski (Det) G,W=3



So the conference finals begin, and I'm trying to find a reason to care. Other than seeing the Phbblblblthlyers get embarassed, I don't care who wins the Cup.


Pittsburgh - Philadelphia
Detroit 1 - Dallas 0



Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 71
Whitney (Pit)

Monday, May 5, 2008

A Very Special Thank You to Bob Gainey

Thank you for firing Claude Julien, who OUGHT to be this year's Jack Adams winner as coach of the year.

Thank you for trading Mike Ribeiro for Janne Niinimaa. (One of them is playing in a conference final. The other is playing in Switzerland.)

Thank you for hiring your buddy Guy Carbonneau whose idea of coaching is wearing a different tie. And not even giving Michael Ryder a chance while sticking with Guillaume Latendresse, Mathieu Dandenault, and Mark Streit.

Thank you for trading the erstwhile starting goaltender, Cristobal Huet, for a second-round pick in a shallow draft, going with two inexperienced goalies for a playoff run.

Thank you for doing nothing else at this year's trade deadline to bolster the team (aside from trading a veteran goalie for a song).

Thank you for raising ticket prices at the Bell Centre.

Sincerely,
Montreal Canadiens Fans

Scores and Standings

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 101 (96)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit) G,G,W=5
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl)
Campbell, (SJ) 0
Nabokov (SJ) 0


Stoner: 99 (95)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit) G,W=3
Michalek (SJ) 0
Markov (Mtl)
Fleury (Pit) W=1


Go Wings: 72 (71)
Thornton (SJ) 0
Streit (Mtl)
Gonchar (Pit) W=1
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 68
Kovalev (Mtl)
Lidstrom (Det)
Price (Mtl)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 68 (65)
Crosby (Pit) A,A,W=3
Cheechoo (SJ) 0
Rafalski (Det)


So, Michael Ryder never got a chance to do anything for the Habs, they're eliminated, no veteran goaltending, misery and humiliation ensues. Go Penguins, I guess. I'm kind of hoping either the Pens or the Stars win the Cup--the Penguins would show Bob Gainey that making a deadline deal for one more game-breaker is NOT a bad idea (Hossa) as would the Stars (Richards, whom I desperately wanted), but the Stars would also be rubbing Gainey's nose in the fact that Ribeiro for Niinimaa was a retarded trade, and the whole world knows it.
Oh, and I officially hate the Sharks. They are the West Coast version of the Senators. Playoff flops. derek and I have taken a vow to never select a Shark again in the post-season.

Montreal 1 - Philadelphia 4
Pittsburgh 4 - New York 1
Detroit 4 - Colorado 0
San Jose 2 - Dallas 4


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 71 (68)
Marleau (SJ) 0
Plekanec (Mtl)
Whitney (Pit) A,W=2
Rivet (SJ) A=1

Sunday, May 4, 2008

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 96 (93)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit)
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl) G,A=3
Campbell, (SJ)
Nabokov (SJ)


Stoner: 95
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit)
Michalek (SJ)
Markov (Mtl) 0
Fleury (Pit)


Go Wings: 71
Thornton (SJ)
Streit (Mtl) 0
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 68 (65)
Kovalev (Mtl) G,A=3
Lidstrom (Det)
Price (Mtl) 0


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 65
Crosby (Pit)
Cheechoo (SJ)
Rafalski (Det)



Fuck. More on that later. Now to go back to sleep.


Montreal 1 - Philadelphia 4
Pittsburgh 3 - New York 1
Detroit 4 - Colorado 0
San Jose 2 - Dallas 3


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 68 (65)
Marleau (SJ)
Plekanec (Mtl) G,A=3
Whitney (Pit)
Rivet (SJ)

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Scores and Standings

Stoner: 95 (92)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit)
Michalek (SJ) G,W=3
Markov (Mtl)
Fleury (Pit)


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 93 (89)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit)
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl)
Campbell, (SJ) G,W=3
Nabokov (SJ) W=1


Go Wings: 71 (69)
Thornton (SJ) A,W=2
Streit (Mtl)
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 65
Kovalev (Mtl)
Lidstrom (Det)
Price (Mtl)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 65 (63)
Crosby (Pit)
Cheechoo (SJ) A,W=2
Rafalski (Det)


Ha ha ha. Very funny. Yes, I seem to be neck-and-neck with my wife, who made her picks only after everyone else had made theirs. I seem to suck at making fantasy draft picks. I've been running this league for ten years now and not ONCE have I won it! I've come close, but never won it. Friggin Brett Hull...(long story)

Oh and the Sharks make it slightly interesting.


Montreal 1 - Philadelphia 3
Pittsburgh 3 - New York 1
Detroit 4 - Colorado 0
San Jose 2 - Dallas 3


Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 65 (63)
Marleau (SJ) W=1
Plekanec (Mtl)
Whitney (Pit)
Rivet (SJ) W=1

Friday, May 2, 2008

Scores and Standings

Stoner: 92 (85)
Zetterberg (Det) G,G,A,A,W=7
Malkin (Pit) 0
Michalek (SJ)
Markov (Mtl)
Fleury (Pit) 0


D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 89 (85)
Datsyuk (Det) A,A,A,W=4
Hossa, (Pit) 0
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl)
Campbell, (SJ)
Nabokov (SJ)


Go Wings: 69 (68)
Thornton (SJ)
Streit (Mtl)
Gonchar (Pit) 0
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 65 (62)
Kovalev (Mtl)
Lidstrom (Det) A,A,W=3
Price (Mtl)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 63 (62)
Crosby (Pit) 0
Cheechoo (SJ)
Rafalski (Det) W=1

Rangers at least make it respectable, but no one's really worried that Pittsburgh will lose this series. Jagr was on fire last night! And this Franzen guy...holy crap. Oh, and Theodore is a sieve. But you already knew that, didn't you?

P-stone has overtaken Derek for the lead! I hate to break it t0 you, but this is a two-man race. Either Derek or P-stone will win this thing.


Montreal 1 - Philadelphia 3
Pittsburgh 3 - New York 1
Detroit 4 - Colorado 0
San Jose 1 - Dallas 3



Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 63
Marleau (SJ)
Plekanec (Mtl)
Whitney (Pit) 0
Rivet (SJ)

Thursday, May 1, 2008

A few random thoughts

Guy Carbonneau is one of the three finalists for Coach of the Year. His competition is Bruce Boudreau of the Capitals and Mike Babcock of the Red Wings. My personal pick would be Claude Julien of the Bruins. He proved what an outstanding coach he is during the regular season and the playoffs, taking the Bruins far beyond anyone's expectations. Guy Carbonneau doesn't belong in the same league as these gentlemen. His idea of coaching has been to wear a lucky tie, give his players the day off every time they lose, and break up Montreal's best, most consistent line of Kostopoulos-Begin-Smolinski.


Watching him behind the bench last night I saw the clinching proof that he is not respected by his players, and has been completely tuned out. During Montreal's time-out, he was trying to speak to the players, while captain Saku Koivu was talking at the same time. The players were all ignoring Carbonneau, paying attention to Koivu's directions. Carbonneau kept yelling, and Koivu kept talking, and the players were all taking their directions from Koivu, not the coach.
Carbonneau has had enough time to get a handle on things. If he's already being tuned out, and is in a power struggle with Montreal's captain and best playoff performer, he has no business being coach of the Canadiens.


If Guy Carbonneau is overrated as a coach, then Bob Gainey has to take the prize as Most Overrated GM in the History of the NHL. His Curriculum Vitae makes him look more suited to be the GM for the Blackhawks than the Canadiens. He has managed to make ONE good trade during his time in Montreal. He brought in Kovalev to bolster a 7th place team and provide an upset against Boston in 2004. After that, he has only made moves that have helped Montreal's bottom line. When faced with the impending free-agency of two excellent defensive forwards in Radek Bonk and Mike Johnson, he let them walk. Whether or not he should have signed Sheldon Souray, he foolishly lowballed him, cementing his reputation as a cheapskate among other NHL players. One phrase that has factored into nearly every one of Bob Gainey's decisions has been "Salary Dump." Jose Theodore, Mike Ribeiro, Sergei Samsonov, Cristobal Huet, were all traded for a song with the implicit promise that the money would be used to sign free agents or make room for deadline-day game-breakers. The problem is, Chicago has operated the same way for years, overpaying for duds, and clearing salaries for nothing.


I *almost* wish Boston had beaten Montreal in the first round this year. Then Bob Gainey would have no choice but to admit that 1) his coach is a fraud, and 2) his "value-added" philosophy of sitting on his ass and hoping that a group of rookies and third-liners can go all the way is completely unrealistic. (I say "almost", because my friends in Massachusetts would never give me a moment's peace should the Bruins beat Montreal in a series.)
My prediction is that, even should Montreal lose on Saturday, Bob Gainey will go into the post-season very pleased with himself, give all sorts of platitudes about a great season (News Flash: The Cup is all that matters), and sit on his ass and do nothing to improve the team in the off-season. He will describe this year's playoffs as a learning experience for his young team, and that they will all do better next year, and require no help from blue-chip free agents or deadline-day acquisitions.

Actually, I think Gainey will make one big off-season signing. Pierre Turgeon will come out of retirement and sign a $750,000 deal to play in Montreal.

Scores and Standings

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 85 (82)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit)
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl) 0
Campbell, (SJ) A,W=2
Nabokov (SJ) W=1


Stoner: 85 (82)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit)
Michalek (SJ) G,W=3
Markov (Mtl) 0
Fleury (Pit)


Go Wings: 68 (65)
Thornton (SJ) A,W=2
Streit (Mtl) A=1
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 62
Kovalev (Mtl) 0
Lidstrom (Det)
Price (Mtl) 0


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 62 (61)
Crosby (Pit)
Cheechoo (SJ) W=1
Rafalski (Det)


P-Stone and Derek are still tied for the lead. You boys had better put some distance between yourselves. I don't want to have to make a ruling on the tie-breaker. (Most players from Cup winner, after that, most players in the finals, after that, team with most goals overall, after that, the player with most goals overall, after that, a coin flip)

I've got lots of opinions about why the Habs suck so much; we'll see if I feel like posting them or if anyone really cares. (Bob Gainey sure as hell doesn't, that's for sure.)

Montreal 1 - Philadelphia 3
Pittsburgh 3 - New York 0
Detroit 3 - Colorado 0
San Jose 1 - Dallas 3



Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 63 (58)
Marleau (SJ) G=2
Plekanec (Mtl) G=2
Whitney (Pit)
Rivet (SJ) W=1

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Scores and Standings

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 82 (72)
Datsyuk (Det) G,G,A,W=6
Hossa, (Pit) G,A,W=4
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl)
Campbell, (SJ) 0
Nabokov (SJ) 0


Stoner: 82 (71)
Zetterberg (Det) G,A,W=4
Malkin (Pit) G,G,A,W=6
Michalek (SJ) 0
Markov (Mtl)
Fleury (Pit) W=1


Go Wings: 65 (61)
Thornton (SJ) 0
Streit (Mtl)
Gonchar (Pit) A,A,W=3
Hasek (Det) W=1


Michael Corleone: 62 (60)
Kovalev (Mtl)
Lidstrom (Det) A,W=2
Price (Mtl)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 61 (56)
Crosby (Pit) A,A,W=3
Cheechoo (SJ) 0
Rafalski (Det) A,W=2


Oooooh, P-stone is in a tie for the lead! What a powerful night Derek and Stoner had.

Montreal 1 - Philadelphia 2
Pittsburgh 3 - New York 0
Detroit 3 - Colorado 0
San Jose 0 - Dallas 3



Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 58 (55)
Marleau (SJ) G=2
Plekanec (Mtl)
Whitney (Pit) W=1
Rivet (SJ) 0

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

What, Melanson worry?

I'd like to offer some analysis on what's REALLY going on in Montreal. For those of you who are wondering what the hell is wrong with Carey Price, I will offer this observation: Carey Price is, simply put, confused. This sort of thing happened earlier in the season. Price started really struggling and was sent down to Hamilton to get his game back. When he returned, he was sharper and smarter. The issue now is, why is it happening again? To figure that out, we have to look at why he was struggling, and what made him come back better.

Roland Melanson has been Montreal's goaltending coach for several years now. He made Jose Theodore and Cristobal Huet into all-stars. He emphasizes a strict Butterfly technique, with no allowance for variation. This works well for goalies of Theodore and Huet's stature. In essence, Huet and Theodore are the same goalie. Melanson relies on a combination of covering the bottom half of the net, strong lateral slides, and keeping the torso tall and upright while still playing on one's knees. Whether Melanson's teaching has merit beyond the regular season has yet to be determined--Huet and Theodore were both traded, and neither got past the second round. One strong criticism of Huet and Theodore has been that they are far too quick to go down into the butterfly, and they have trouble stopping high shots. This criticism is a direct result of Melanson's coaching.

Carey Price's regular season trouble began when he started playing more of a butterfly style. Carey Price had relied on an interesting Hybrid style of goaltending up to that point. It gave him success in Juniors, the WJC (where was the MVP), and last year's AHL championship (where he once again was MVP). He plays best when he stays upright, making his large frame fill the net, not only horizontally, but vertically as well. (An example of another goalie who plays a hybrid technique, *somewhat* effectively, is Martin Brodeur.) Carey Price has a much different body type than Huet or Theodore. Whereas Montreal's previous two all-stars were small by NHL standards, Price is a veritable giant. Price got into the NHL with a combination of sheer size advantage, combined with a cool-as-a-cucumber demeanor, and excellent positioning. Price's problem is that Rollie Melanson is trying to make him into a pure butterfly goalie. One could plainly see Price struggle when he tried to change his style this season. He started giving up weak goals, and had to go down to Hamilton to "get his game back." The real reason he go that game back was because he did not have to deal with Melanson's coaching. He started playing HIS game, and when he came back, he once again had his hybrid technique. And with that, Bob Gainey traded Huet to Washington. And Price dominated.

Now, Price is once again struggling. And the reason is DIRECTLY a result of the style he has been playing. I have been watching him play more butterfly technique, going down early on shots, and he is once again letting in weak goals. What I am seeing is Melanson breaking Price's style down completely, trying to rebuild the 20 year-old into a pure butterfly goalie. Of course, Price does not NEED to be rebuilt. His technique may need refining to compete with NHL-caliber shooters, but to completely dismantle Price's style is foolhardy and, ultimately, counterproductive.

The question is, what happens now? For starters, Price must ignore Melanson. If I were Bob Gainey, I would consider firing Melanson in the off-season. Not because Melanson is a bad coach, but because he is not the right coach for Price.
Other goalies may need to be re-trained in order to compete in the NHL, but Price already has the tools. Roland Melanson has only succeeded in confusing a potential all-star, and the damage may be irreparable before long.

A Very Easy Scores and Standings

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 72
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit)
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl) 0
Campbell, (SJ)
Nabokov (SJ)


Stoner: 71 (70)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit)
Michalek (SJ)
Markov (Mtl) A=1
Fleury (Pit)


Go Wings: 61
Thornton (SJ)
Streit (Mtl) 0
Gonchar (Pit)
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 60
Kovalev (Mtl) 0
Lidstrom (Det)
Price (Mtl) 0


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 56
Crosby (Pit)
Cheechoo (SJ)
Rafalski (Det)


Ahem. I seem to recall predicting another crap-ass performance from Price. I really hate being right. And didn't I say, at the very least, Boston would take Montreal to seven games?
In any case, Montreal's season is pretty much finished.
Watch for Bob Gainey to do absolutely NOTHING in the off-season.



Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 55 (53)
Marleau (SJ)
Plekanec (Mtl) G=2
Whitney (Pit)
Rivet (SJ)

Monday, April 28, 2008

The best hockey I have been part of...

So my hockey team, Lighthouse Masonry, participated in the Chowder Cup Tournament in Marlboro over the weekend. We finished the 3 game tournament with a 3-0-1 record and locked up the 2nd seed of 8 teams, with the top four advancing.

In the semi finals, we faced the same team that we had tied in the first game, 3-3. Mind you the divisiion that we are in is a high school level experienced only level and no one with college experience can play within this division. This team that we played had 5 kids on their team wearing Fitchberg Falcons helmets, and gloves (Fitchberg is a dIII school)!!!

Anyway, this semi final matchup was probably the best game that I have ever watched, or played in. WIth less than 3 minutes left in the game, we trailed 3-1, and we just took a penalaty (NOTE: you will NEVER get calls to go your way when you play up here against the home team), and we looked all but done. But this team has had a 'never say die' attitude all year long and we were able to score not one, but TWO shorthanded goals to force an over time.

Over time was a full 12 minute period and quality chances were traded throughout but the extra time was able to settle nothing.

The game had to be decided by a shootout. We shot first due to rules that stated the team the scored last had to shoot first, even though we were considered the home team (better record). The first 3 shooters for both teams went like this:
Lighthouse: X-G-X
Triboro: G-X-X

Then after another 5 rounds, Triboro's dIII college ringer was able to slip on past the glove of our goaltender (Eric for those of you who know him), and send us packing. They went on to the finals and easily destroyed the other team, 5-1. It sucks losing like that to a quote unquote "illegal team", but at the same time you don't want to go complain and win like that. That was the most exciting game I have ever been in and even though being on the losing end absolutely sucks, I do not mind going out like that.

Scores and Standings

D-man (Capt. Sparrow): 72 (70)
Datsyuk (Det)
Hossa, (Pit) W=1
A. Kostitsyn (Mtl)
Campbell, (SJ) A=1
Nabokov (SJ) 0


Stoner: 70 (64)
Zetterberg (Det)
Malkin (Pit) A,W=2
Michalek (SJ) G=2
Markov (Mtl)
Fleury (Pit) SO=2


Go Wings: 61 (59)
Thornton (SJ) 0
Streit (Mtl)
Gonchar (Pit) A,W=2
Hasek (Det)


Michael Corleone: 60
Kovalev (Mtl)
Lidstrom (Det)
Price (Mtl)


Kovalev Jr. (Habsfan1993): 56 (54)
Crosby (Pit) W=1
Cheechoo (SJ) A=1
Rafalski (Det)


Yes, P-stone, you were right. I shorted Michalek one goal--that has been rectified. San Jose once again disappoints in the playoffs, and I now think Dallas will win the West. Only game tonight is Habs-Flyers. And I stand by my assessment of Price. He seems to be cracking under the pressure. We'll see if he has another bad outing tonight.



Bride of Kovalev (making some mean leftovers): 53 (49)
Marleau (SJ) 0
Plekanec (Mtl)
Whitney (Pit) A,W=2
Rivet (SJ) A,A=2