Friday, August 5, 2011

The third annual Kovys: Gary Bettman Trophy

Today's award:
The Gary Bettman Trophy
awarded to the league's worst management

And the nominees are:


New York Islanders


Insane owner? Check. Lots of money being paid to people who don't play? Check.
Too many goalies? Check. Laughable franchise? Check









Philadelphia Flyers



Still haven't gotten the memo that good goaltending matters in the post-season. And they traded away two stars who wanted to create a winner in Philly.







Atlanta Thrashers


Good riddance to that group of egomaniac owners. Atlanta was a team rotten from the inside out.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The third annual Kovys: Islanders Fishsticks Trophy

Today's award:


The Islanders Fishsticks Trophy
awarded to the team with ugliest jerseys

Note: source is http://www.nhluniforms.com/

And the nominees are:

Colorado Avalanche




The 'lanche had a lot of color patterns to choose from when deciding on their third jersey. Unfortunately, they chose EXACTLY the wrong shade of blue. Remember those great maroon jerseys they used to have with the Rangers-style writing down the chest? These new ones look like the cheap knock-offs you can get for $19.99 from a shady seller on E-bay.



Dallas Stars


Here's an idea for you, Dallas:
This isn't college football. Try putting some damn color on your jerseys? You're playing games wearing your practice jerseys.
















Edmonton Oilers


What, did you not have enough money for the stripe to go all the way around the sleeve?












Honorable Mention:
Tampa Bay Lightning and Ottawa Senators






It's not the jerseys. They're actually better-designed than the normal uniforms. But the nicknames on the front? Ridiculous. Should Montreal have a "HABS" jersey? Didn't think so. What makes Ottawa and Tampa think it looks respectable on their teams?

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The third annual Kovys: Coyote Cup

Today's award:

The Coyote Cup
Given to the team that has no business being in its current location.

Please note:
I used NHL.com's attendance statistics for this article.
I have disregarded several attendance numbers from January and February, as bad weather in New York kept people away.


And the nominees are:

The Phoenix Coyotes


Cold, snowy weather has no bearing on attendance figures for the Desert Dogs. They have no excuses, even fewer now that they are a playoff team.

Excluding the New York games that had bad attendance due to snowstorms, the Coyotes had the worst and second-worst attended games all season (6,706 on Oct 21 and 6,761 on Nov 3). Going from bottom to top in attendance, the bottom of the list is littered with Coyotes games.
















It's time for Gary Bettman to come to his senses and let this struggling drain on the NHL's finances go somewhere sensible.






The Atlanta Thrashers


These awards reflect the past season. Atlanta may not currently have an NHL team, but that's exactly why they're on this list. This past season was the final one for Atlanta, and that's a good thing. While the Thrashers may not have been quite so bad as the Islanders or the Coyotes, they still had some appearances on the bottom end of the attendance rankings. Their absence (the second time an Atlanta team has had to move) demonstrates that hockey does not work in southern cities.






The New York Islanders


How the mighty have fallen. The citizens don't want to buy them a new arena. The management is goofy. The owner is insane. The team is a joke.

And no one goes to the games. It could be that their ticket prices are outrageous (my wife went to law school just a nine-iron away from the Mausoleum, and we never went to a single game, because even the nosebleed seat prices were way beyond our means). Someone needs to tell Charles Wang that people will only pay exorbitant ticket prices if 1) the team is awesome, or 2) there's so much fan support that you can sell out every game no matter how much you suck (see: Maple Leafs, Toronto). The Islanders definitely do not qualify. People aren't going to the games, so prices need to fall. Wang wants to put the team in a badly needed new stadium, but he expects the taxpayers to foot the bill. No dice, Charles.

I know its tough: you have to spend money to make money, and it's a hard pill to swallow, lowering ticket prices when you need more money, not less. But if no one's buying the tickets, then you have to go back to your Econ 101 textbook and look up "Chapter 1: Supply vs Demand". 

As it is, the team needs to just go away. The citizens obviously don't care, and neither does the management. What this team needs is a completely new identity. New city (hell, they could move to Queens or Brooklyn), new ownership, new stadium, new everything. Because it's just not working on the Island.


Source: NHL.com

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Kovy Awards: Alexei Yashin trophy

The Alexei Yashin Trophy
for the league's most overpaid player.

And the nominees are:

Scott Gomez


Cap hit: $7.357 million until 2014.
Last year's salary: $8 million

Montreal paid Gomez eight million dollars this season. Gomez, in turn, provided the Habs with 7 goals and 31 assists over the span of 80 games.

To put this in perspective, Sergei Samsonov, who did not survive his first year playing for Montreal, was paid $3.525 million for 9 goals and 17 assists in 63 games for the Habs.

Why Montreal hasn't put Gomez on waivers, traded him to a team struggling to reach the cap floor, or just plain bought him out is a mystery.

Fearless prediction: the 2011-2012 season will be just as bad.





Ilya Kovalchuk


Cap hit: $6.667 million until 2025.
Last year's salary: $6 million

This is the person everyone will point to when they explain how, when, and why the Devils stopped being a perennial playoff contender. Like Gomez, Kovalchuk's contract prohibits the Devils from signing other skilled players. Maybe there's method in their madness, Maybe the Devils management has recognized that they can't fill their arena even halfway, and need a marquee player to fill the seats and sell jerseys. If that pipe dream comes true, the Devils will have a stadium full of people to watch the Devils lose.






Vincent Lecavalier



Cap hit: $7.727 million until 2020.
Last year's salary: $10 million

Lecavalier has seen a steady decline in his performance, coupled with an unparallelled rise in ego. Vinny has been responsible for the firings of two coaches, and his attitude is a cancer on the Tampa Bay Lightning. With Steve Yzerman at the helm, you can guarantee that Vinny will have at least one "Come to Jesus" meeting with Stevie Y. It's not too late, but Vinny needs to do two things: stop trying to run the Lightning organization, and start putting pucks in net again (or help his teammates do so). Otherwise, I doubt someone like Yzerman, who knows what it takes to win, will keep this guy around.




Rick Dipietro


Cap hit: $4.5 million until 2021.
Last year's salary: $4.5 million

Seriously, it's too easy. The guy is made of glass. After his fight with Brent Johnson, I said, "watch him be out for six weeks." I was joking. But he was indeed out for six weeks.

He has played a total 39 games during the last THREE seasons, with 11 wins. And the Isles have him until 2021.

Monday, August 1, 2011

The third annual Kovys: Ranger Cup

Today's award:

The Rangers Memorial Cup
awarded to the league's most overrated team
And the nominees are:

San Jose Sharks

Another year, another non-finals exit. No one can quite grasp what this team's problem is, as they consistently seem to have all the pieces for a championship season. But when the playoffs arrive, it's become a sure bet the Sharks won't get to the Cup Finals.






Philadelphia Flyers


So much for last year's upset of the Bruins and Stanley Cup Finals appearance. Blame their appearance in the asinine commercial suggesting the Flyers could go 82-0. Or blame their idiotic management who just can't grasp the fact that goaltending is important. Blame alcohol. But the Flyers are shuffling the deck, and are hoping to come up with a winning solution. Who wants to bet it doesn't work out? I'll happily take that bet.




Washington Capitals

Last year, the Caps got eliminated in the first round. This year, they did a little better and actually one a series before going down. Part of the problem is that the Caps have some overrated players who almost made the cut for the Alexander Daigle trophy (Mike Green being chief among them).
Whatever the cause, Ovechkin and co. have to do better in the post-season, or else the overrated label will continue to stick to them collectively, and individually for quite some time.

So long, it's been good to know you

We say farewell to Alexei Kovalev, namesake of this website, and spitting image of yours-truly's cousin (and more than a passing resemblance to yours-truly himself).

I would like to offer Kovy a piece of advice: now that you're going back to Russia, stay there. Don't be like Peter Forsberg, Jaromir Jagr, or Alexei Yashin. Don't try to use the NHL as a bargaining chip for a bigger KHL contract, or waste your time on NHL comebacks that only serve as a sad counterpoint to how good you used to be. There are no regrets. You won the Stanley Cup as a rookie, and had some championship-caliber years with Pittsburgh and Montreal. Go to Russia, score some goals, and have fun. We'll remember you fondly. But, like a septuagenarian rock star, there comes a time when it gets a little sad seeing him try to be someone he used to be. Let's not go there, Kovy.


So, by way of saying farewell, here are some highlights.

a TSN highlight reel, with lots of Bruins on the wrong end of Kovy's shots:


Kovy teaches Darcy Tucker a lesson:


And the greatest comeback in Habs history, with a pair of goals by #27: