Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Happy Decemberween

So I was off in Pennsylvania with my parents, with no internet access, and thus, no updates on the blog, for the Christmas break. Not that there's much to say, since the Habs have apparently not been playing a whole lot of hockey. (At least, nothing worth talking about).

I promise updates are coming, including a review of "NHL Slapshot" for Wii, and something nice to say about Don Cherry's Christmas gift for me. No, seriously!

Happy New Year. I'll be spending it with an old friend who happens to be a Sabres fan.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Good Picard: 1, Evil Picard: 2


So the Good Picard put one in the Avalanche net, but Evil Picard showed up from the Alternate Universe and totally fucked the Habs over. I'm surprised he didn't have a goatee.


Question for Jacques: Just why is Alexandre Picard playing with PK Subban? You have two rookie defensemen, one with a penchant for pushing up ice, the other with a knack for just being out of position. Why not split them up and have them play with complementary players, rather than enhancing each other's mistakes?

In all, the game was a good one, but why, oh why, isn't Shea Weber playing instead of Picard? Why isn't Subban paired with Hamr or Gorges?

Of course, Martin will probably blame Subban for Picard's bone-headed positioning mistakes. To that I say, coach, when you point the finger, you have several pointing right back at you.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Bruins-Habs recap

Well, another Bruins game has come and gone, and it's time to break it down.

First of all, let's address Mr. Mark Recchi:

Dear Mark: STFU. It's bad form to yap, complain, and run your mouth at 90 mph, and then flap your hands in a mock gesture of 'yapping' at the other team's bench. Um, Mark, meet the kettle. You're the retarded pot.

What has the NHL come to? Since when is a solid, devastating, and perfectly legal hit a cause for calling the other team a bunch of dirty players? Just what IS wrong with Mark Recchi? And just what is Boston Herald hockey writer Stephen Harris smoking? "The Canadiens are a despicable and dirty little hockey team that loves to dish out nasty cheap shots, often from behind, often after the whistle -and shows not the slightest willingness to back up the stickwork by dropping the gloves."

He must have missed Michael Cammalleri's split-decision with David Krejci.
He also must have missed Milan Lucic's strange absence from all the complaining. Let's agree on one thing: If things are getting dirty or out of hand, Lucic is one of the first on the scene to make the other team accountable. Lucic played well, but wasn't losing his head like his suddenly-insane teammates.

In hockey, if you get hit clean and hard, you get up, keep your mouth shut, and try to do better next time. That's what Brad Marchand did. Krejci, Recchi, and Harris need to take note.



Cammalleri's fight with Krejci was an example of how hockey fights can still be exciting and spontaneous. I'll take one of those honest, non-scheduled fights over Domi-Probert any day. (Well, then again, those were some AMAZING fights.) That was a fight that Bruins AND Habs fans could agree was a good one.


Interesting seeing two Vezina front-runners both giving up some weak goals, and also making some amazing saves.


Did anything else happen? I must have missed it.

Good game, but please Bruins, keep your mouths shut. The Flyers give you plenty to complain about already. Stick to complaining about teams that really are dirty.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

What would you do?

If you were in Jacques Martin's position, what would you do?

Who would you start for a non-conference, first-of-two-in-a-row, non-rivalry game?

Who would you start for the intra-divisional, Saturday night, rivalry game?

Would you perhaps throw out the backup goalie for that throwaway Friday night game? Would you perhaps put your franchise goalie in for Hockey Night in Canada, against a Leafs team that always steps up their game against the Habs?

In the end, you have to ask, "Which game is more important?"

It's just a question, and hindsight is 20-20, but I asked these questions before 7 pm on Friday night, and came to a much different conclusion than Jacques Martin apparently did.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

A Tale of Two Shitties

Let's look closer at the Habs' season so far. Carey Price has been going great guns, and so has Kostitsyn and Plekanec. But as soon as someone like Mike Cammalleri gets put on a line with Scott Gomez, his numbers go south like a duck in winter. And as soon as someone like Brian Gionta gets moved away from Gomez, he benefits from having decent line mates like Pleks and Big Tits.

Scott Gomez is the reason the Habs are not as good as they could be. Yes, there are two Czech defensemen who are largely to blame for Montreal's shallow defense, but let's look at offense, as well as why the Habs can't afford decent players.

Let's cast our sights through the vaulted aisles of memory, to the signing of Sergei Samsonov. Montreal signed him to a $7.05 million contract in the summer of 2006. He was supposed to provide offense and flash to the Montreal offense. What he brought instead was a chorus of boos from Montreal fans.

In 63 games in Montreal, Samsonov scored nine goals and 17 assists. Remember, he was being paid roughly 3.525 million for that season of 26 points.
Now let's look at Scott Gomez's number from last year: he played 78 games, with a total 12 goals and 47 assists (59 points). Most damningly, Gomez was meagre +1 Gomez was supposed to bring the sort of defensive responsibility that Samsonov lacked, but was basically even for the year. For that offensive explosion, Gomez was paid eight million dollars.

So let's look at ratios: Samsonov got paid $135,577 per point in what was objectively a terrible season.
Scott Gomez got paid 135,593 per point last year.

The numbers are nearly identical.

Scott Gomez is just as big a disappointment as Samsonov was. What's worse, he eats up more cap space, making it harder to find actually GOOD players to counteract his crappy offensive production, or to prevent pucks from getting shot at Carey Price.

When we look at Gomez's offensive output this season, the picture gets even worse.
In the past minute, I watched Scott Gomez score a goal against the Edmonton Oilers. That is his third goal of the season. He has five assists. We're at the quarter-pole for the season, so that puts Gomez on track for a 32-point season.
Folks, that means Scott Gomez is getting paid 250,000 per point this season.

Brian Gionta is on track to earn $83,333 per point. Tomas Plekanec, coming off a contract year (typically the post-contract hangover is severe) is on pace to earn $54,347 per point.

My point, my dear readers, is that Scott Gomez is an ape. We would be better served by having a monkey paid a million bucks a year to do nothing but fling poopy at the opposing team's bus as it pulls into the Bell Centre.

Gomez is a tool. A douchebag. An overrated, washed-up, waste of breathing air.
Until he is gone from this team, or starts pulling one-tenth of his own weight, this team will suffer as a result of having him around.

He makes everyone around him worse, and his very presence ensures that Montreal cannot be as good as it could be.