Kiss your sister

Good job to the Habs for playing the Flyers to a tie game last night.
You read that right--it was a 4-4 tie.
Chris Lee can take his no-goal call and shove it up his ass, because it was biased and it was wrong.

Brendan Shanahan

Brendan Shanahan

I dare you to even consider suspending Max Pacioretty.

Max Pac didn't have the opportunity to come back and score in the game he was nearly killed. Kris Letang did. There was no suspension when Max Pac was nearly killed.

There better as hell not be one this time, either.

This is a promise, Brendan. There will be more trouble for you than an angry mob of Avalanche fans in a dark alley if you misstep here.

Mark carefully my words.

UPDATE:

You've been warned, Brendan.
It will be worse than 1955 for Clarence Campbell.
I suggest you not show your face in Montreal any time soon.

Why bother watching?

To paraphrase Douglas Fairbanks Jr in "Gunga Din",

You displease me greatly, and I ignore the lot of you.

For Better or for Worse

Sorry, hockey fans, but I dropped the ball on my summer posts. Partly, it's because I just didn't have time.

Anyway, the new season is three games old, and it's time to weigh in.

About the Jets: Before Sunday's game, I told Bride of Kovalev that this game would determine my loyalty for the future.

After all, I can only stand so many promises to "Fix you."
I can only take so many 2-0 series leads AWAY FROM HOME, only to see the team implode.
I can only stomach so many December-February swoons precipitated by an ill-advised concession to a goddamned CIRCUS.
I don't really enjoy seeing General Managers blow up the team only to walk away from the ensuing mess.
I have lost any patience for coaches who repeatedly try to pound the square pegs of speedy, young athletes into the round holes of defensive, boring, New Jersey Devils.

I can only hear "Baby, I promise, this time it'll be different. I looove you, baby" so many times before I stop believing it. 
I'm tired of the Canadiens.

And after all, what reason do I have to root for them? The only Stanley Cup victory I remember was 1993. I am from North Carolina. I don't owe the city any allegiance. The past glory of the Habs, the Maurice Richards, the Boom-Boom Geoffrions (the reason I found myself fated to cheer for the Canadiens), even the Patrick Roys, are all a distant memory now.  The Century of excellence is over. What we have now is very reliable mediocrity.

So why root for the Habs? Why not root for a team that, in the larger scheme of things, matters a lot more? The Jets are bad for Gary Bettman. Ergo, the Jets are good for hockey. The Jets represent a victory over Bettman's brand of stupidity, over his moronic insistence on expanding into dead markets. The Jets have already won. They represent all that is good about fans, about sound economic policy, and about divine justice in the world.

And so I turned on Sunday's game fully intending to become a student and a fan of this Jets team. If they won, that would seal it. Goodbye, Montreal. Goodbye, overhyped management. Goodbye to a team that, in all honesty, I really do not like.
But then a funny thing happened. Even before Michael Cammalleri scored, I found myself cheering, unconditionally, for my bleu-blanc-rouge. Unconditionally.

Shit.

I hate the Habs.

And yet, I love the Habs.

It's too late. Short of them signing Todd Bertuzzi, I will always love the Habs. Even if they eventually fail to sign Carey Price and trade for Rick DiPietro, I'll find myself watching them on my NHL Center Ice. This sucks. Because, as we saw last night, anyone who thinks the Habs are a playoff team is smoking dope.
True, the kids have the ability to rise above the adversity and become true NHL'ers, but Jacques Martin won't allow that to happen. Scott Gomez will continue to suck in creative new ways. And he'll bring down his linemates, just as he is doing now to Brian Gionta. And Erik Cole is furiously cementing his legacy as the worst free agent of 2011.

Fuck this team. And yet, for better or worse, I'm with you Montreal.
I love you, Montreal Canadiens. I just don't particularly like you right now.

The third annual Kovys: Gary Bettman Trophy

Today's award:
The Gary Bettman Trophy
awarded to the league's worst management

And the nominees are:


New York Islanders

Insane owner? Check. Lots of money being paid to people who don't play? Check.
Too many goalies? Check. Laughable franchise? Check









Philadelphia Flyers

Still haven't gotten the memo that good goaltending matters in the post-season. And they traded away two stars who wanted to create a winner in Philly.







Atlanta Thrashers

Good riddance to that group of egomaniac owners. Atlanta was a team rotten from the inside out.

The third annual Kovys: Islanders Fishsticks Trophy

Today's award:


The Islanders Fishsticks Trophy
awarded to the team with ugliest jerseys

Note: source is http://www.nhluniforms.com/

And the nominees are:

Colorado Avalanche

The 'lanche had a lot of color patterns to choose from when deciding on their third jersey. Unfortunately, they chose EXACTLY the wrong shade of blue. Remember those great maroon jerseys they used to have with the Rangers-style writing down the chest? These new ones look like the cheap knock-offs you can get for $19.99 from a shady seller on E-bay.



Dallas Stars

Here's an idea for you, Dallas:
This isn't college football. Try putting some damn color on your jerseys? You're playing games wearing your practice jerseys.
















Edmonton Oilers

What, did you not have enough money for the stripe to go all the way around the sleeve?












Honorable Mention:
Tampa Bay Lightning and Ottawa Senators

It's not the jerseys. They're actually better-designed than the normal uniforms. But the nicknames on the front? Ridiculous. Should Montreal have a "HABS" jersey? Didn't think so. What makes Ottawa and Tampa think it looks respectable on their teams?

The third annual Kovys: Coyote Cup

Today's award:

The Coyote Cup
Given to the team that has no business being in its current location.

Please note:
I used NHL.com's attendance statistics for this article.
I have disregarded several attendance numbers from January and February, as bad weather in New York kept people away.


And the nominees are:

The Phoenix Coyotes

Cold, snowy weather has no bearing on attendance figures for the Desert Dogs. They have no excuses, even fewer now that they are a playoff team.

Excluding the New York games that had bad attendance due to snowstorms, the Coyotes had the worst and second-worst attended games all season (6,706 on Oct 21 and 6,761 on Nov 3). Going from bottom to top in attendance, the bottom of the list is littered with Coyotes games.

It's time for Gary Bettman to come to his senses and let this struggling drain on the NHL's finances go somewhere sensible.






The Atlanta Thrashers

These awards reflect the past season. Atlanta may not currently have an NHL team, but that's exactly why they're on this list. This past season was the final one for Atlanta, and that's a good thing. While the Thrashers may not have been quite so bad as the Islanders or the Coyotes, they still had some appearances on the bottom end of the attendance rankings. Their absence (the second time an Atlanta team has had to move) demonstrates that hockey does not work in southern cities.






The New York Islanders

How the mighty have fallen. The citizens don't want to buy them a new arena. The management is goofy. The owner is insane. The team is a joke.

And no one goes to the games. It could be that their ticket prices are outrageous (my wife went to law school just a nine-iron away from the Mausoleum, and we never went to a single game, because even the nosebleed seat prices were way beyond our means). Someone needs to tell Charles Wang that people will only pay exorbitant ticket prices if 1) the team is awesome, or 2) there's so much fan support that you can sell out every game no matter how much you suck (see: Maple Leafs, Toronto). The Islanders definitely do not qualify. People aren't going to the games, so prices need to fall. Wang wants to put the team in a badly needed new stadium, but he expects the taxpayers to foot the bill. No dice, Charles.

I know its tough: you have to spend money to make money, and it's a hard pill to swallow, lowering ticket prices when you need more money, not less. But if no one's buying the tickets, then you have to go back to your Econ 101 textbook and look up "Chapter 1: Supply vs Demand". 

As it is, the team needs to just go away. The citizens obviously don't care, and neither does the management. What this team needs is a completely new identity. New city (hell, they could move to Queens or Brooklyn), new ownership, new stadium, new everything. Because it's just not working on the Island.


Source: NHL.com

The Kovy Awards: Alexei Yashin trophy

The Alexei Yashin Trophy
for the league's most overpaid player.

And the nominees are:

Scott Gomez

Cap hit: $7.357 million until 2014.
Last year's salary: $8 million

Montreal paid Gomez eight million dollars this season. Gomez, in turn, provided the Habs with 7 goals and 31 assists over the span of 80 games.

To put this in perspective, Sergei Samsonov, who did not survive his first year playing for Montreal, was paid $3.525 million for 9 goals and 17 assists in 63 games for the Habs.

Why Montreal hasn't put Gomez on waivers, traded him to a team struggling to reach the cap floor, or just plain bought him out is a mystery.

Fearless prediction: the 2011-2012 season will be just as bad.





Ilya Kovalchuk

Cap hit: $6.667 million until 2025.
Last year's salary: $6 million

This is the person everyone will point to when they explain how, when, and why the Devils stopped being a perennial playoff contender. Like Gomez, Kovalchuk's contract prohibits the Devils from signing other skilled players. Maybe there's method in their madness, Maybe the Devils management has recognized that they can't fill their arena even halfway, and need a marquee player to fill the seats and sell jerseys. If that pipe dream comes true, the Devils will have a stadium full of people to watch the Devils lose.






Vincent Lecavalier

Cap hit: $7.727 million until 2020.
Last year's salary: $10 million

Lecavalier has seen a steady decline in his performance, coupled with an unparallelled rise in ego. Vinny has been responsible for the firings of two coaches, and his attitude is a cancer on the Tampa Bay Lightning. With Steve Yzerman at the helm, you can guarantee that Vinny will have at least one "Come to Jesus" meeting with Stevie Y. It's not too late, but Vinny needs to do two things: stop trying to run the Lightning organization, and start putting pucks in net again (or help his teammates do so). Otherwise, I doubt someone like Yzerman, who knows what it takes to win, will keep this guy around.




Rick Dipietro

Cap hit: $4.5 million until 2021.
Last year's salary: $4.5 million

Seriously, it's too easy. The guy is made of glass. After his fight with Brent Johnson, I said, "watch him be out for six weeks." I was joking. But he was indeed out for six weeks.

He has played a total 39 games during the last THREE seasons, with 11 wins. And the Isles have him until 2021.

The third annual Kovys: Ranger Cup

Today's award:

The Rangers Memorial Cup
awarded to the league's most overrated team
And the nominees are:

San Jose Sharks

Another year, another non-finals exit. No one can quite grasp what this team's problem is, as they consistently seem to have all the pieces for a championship season. But when the playoffs arrive, it's become a sure bet the Sharks won't get to the Cup Finals.






Philadelphia Flyers

So much for last year's upset of the Bruins and Stanley Cup Finals appearance. Blame their appearance in the asinine commercial suggesting the Flyers could go 82-0. Or blame their idiotic management who just can't grasp the fact that goaltending is important. Blame alcohol. But the Flyers are shuffling the deck, and are hoping to come up with a winning solution. Who wants to bet it doesn't work out? I'll happily take that bet.




Washington Capitals

Last year, the Caps got eliminated in the first round. This year, they did a little better and actually one a series before going down. Part of the problem is that the Caps have some overrated players who almost made the cut for the Alexander Daigle trophy (Mike Green being chief among them).
Whatever the cause, Ovechkin and co. have to do better in the post-season, or else the overrated label will continue to stick to them collectively, and individually for quite some time.

So long, it's been good to know you

We say farewell to Alexei Kovalev, namesake of this website, and spitting image of yours-truly's cousin (and more than a passing resemblance to yours-truly himself).

I would like to offer Kovy a piece of advice: now that you're going back to Russia, stay there. Don't be like Peter Forsberg, Jaromir Jagr, or Alexei Yashin. Don't try to use the NHL as a bargaining chip for a bigger KHL contract, or waste your time on NHL comebacks that only serve as a sad counterpoint to how good you used to be. There are no regrets. You won the Stanley Cup as a rookie, and had some championship-caliber years with Pittsburgh and Montreal. Go to Russia, score some goals, and have fun. We'll remember you fondly. But, like a septuagenarian rock star, there comes a time when it gets a little sad seeing him try to be someone he used to be. Let's not go there, Kovy.


So, by way of saying farewell, here are some highlights.

a TSN highlight reel, with lots of Bruins on the wrong end of Kovy's shots:


Kovy teaches Darcy Tucker a lesson:


And the greatest comeback in Habs history, with a pair of goals by #27:

Third Annual Kovy Awards!

Yes folks, here it is, to alleviate your summer boredom, the Kovy Awards for the people who make the NHL a sadder, funnier, more ridiculous place.

Here are the awards, and their nominees. We will do one award per day, so stay tuned:


Today's award:

The Alexandre Daigle Memorial Trophy:

awarded to the league's most overrated player

(Not to be confused with the most overPAID player)

 

And the nominees are:

Henrik Sedin (Van)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The regular season doesn't mean much if you disappear during the playoffs, especially the finals.

 

 

 

Daniel Sedin

 

See above

 

 

 

Roberto Luongo

 

He brought it on himself. He couldn't keep his mouth shut, and he shit the bed away from home. Champion goalies don't play the way Luongo did, and it will be a long time before he gets out from under his performance this spring,

Aunt Eszter says, Happy Christmas!

We all know how it goes.

You've got this relative who for years has given you socks for Christmas. Every year, socks. And each year the box is a different size, making you think maybe this is the year she finally got you something cool. But that stereo-sized box? Socks. The box you could have sworn was shaped like the Metallica boxed set? Socks.

Hamrlik: Socks
Spacek: Socks
Samsonov: Really ugly fucking socks that you wouldn't wear when all your other pairs are in a stinking pile on the laundry room floor.

Then we come to this year. It's a foregone conclusion. You asked for an RC Car, but you know you're getting socks. Then you open the box, and there is a shiny new Hotwheel toy car. Sure, it isn't an RC car, but it's not socks.

This year we could have kept Tom Pyatt for a mere $500,000. Tampa, under Steve Yzerman's pretty good "new management," got him instead.

We still have to put on the pink nightmare bunny suit of Scott Gomez whenever Aunt Clara (Bob Gainey) comes over to visit.

And that's the same Aunt Clara who took your most prized possession (your well-loved Saku Koivu action figure) and gave it to the annoying, socially awkward kid with the weird clothes down the street. 

Of course the rich kid got the really kickass toy this year, Brad Richards. And for those who want to poo-poo what they don't have just to make themselves feel better, let's remember that Richards is a Conn Smythe winner who is the kind of player every team wants. When you consider that he may have even gone to New York BECAUSE --not despite-- of John Tortorella, that says a lot about the kind of team player he is. (I'm looking right your way, Lecavalier, you spoiled, bitchy brat. You're the kind of person that we all learned bad language and bad manners from. Mom says you're not allowed to come over and play any more.)

But we got a really good player in Erik Cole. He may even turn out to be the kind of Brad Richards influence this team really needs. He's good enough to show off to the neighbors. This the kind of Christmas gift you appreciate for, if for nothing else, being a surprise.

So that's my assessment of this year's Christmas bonanza that is Free Agency. Now we're in the lean times. We may even be able to take Scott Gomez down to Goodwill, but the store's looking pretty full these days.

It could have been better, but we all know it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

Thank God you're stupid

Herp-a-derp!

Montreal did not extend qualifying offers to Tom Pyatt, Alex Picard, and Benoit Pouliot. Tom Pyatt, who had the most upside of all, could have been a Hab for a mere $500,000.

And yet the Habs decided that the useless pylon that is Roman Hamrlik was worthy of a contract offer. (And who cares what the offer was...he should be falling on his knees to give a wet sloppy one to anyone who even considers dressing him at this stage in his career).

Luckily for Montreal fans who don't enjoy seeing Junior-B ability in a red white and blue NHL jersey, he decided that he'd rather sit and wait for offers that will never come during Free Agency.

So, thanks Roman! You made a stupid decision from the Habs management actually bearable by rejecting the only contract offer you're going to get from an NHL team.

So...don't let the door hit your useless pylon ass on your way out. See you in the KHL!

Christmas wish list

So the drought has gone on for too long now. No, I'm not talking about Stanley Cup parades. I'm talking about Free Agency presents.

Montreal has been Mr. Potter, Ebenezer Scrooge, and the Grinch all rolled up into one for too many years now, and it's time for us Habs fans to get a huge present for Christmas on July 1st this year.

So, Santa Gauthier, I'm counting on you. Here's my wish list (just one item from this list would make this little boy very happy):

1. Scott Gomez goes away. That's right, we want to take this one to the exchange/returns counter as defective. What do you mean the warranty has expired?

2. Brad Richards. I want a Conn Smythe forward. This one has been at the top of my list for a while now. But from one year to the next the store shelves have been empty. Now we're there at 2 am, and the first in line for the store opening. Bring him home!

3. James Wisniewski. Come on, Pierre. We had zero second-round picks last week because you traded one of them for Dominic Moore, and the other for the Wiz. You made a mistake in letting Moore go, and also made an even bigger one by letting Marc Andre Bergeron go. Remember the power play last year? Want that to happen again? Want to have SOMETHING to show for not having any second-round picks this year? Re-sign the Wiz.

4. Failing any of these, a PK Subban jersey would at least give me something to wear as I watch the Habs lose every game in December.

See ya, Muller

Kirk Muller has been hired to coach the Predators' minor league team.

Not to worry. We'll see him back when Gauthier finally realizes Jacques Martin can't coach and fires his ass.

The Winnipeg ....'s?

So I finally have a reason to watch the NHL draft: Winnipeg will announce their name as they make their seventh overall pick tonight.

How much you wanna bet it won't be the Jets?

This just in: ESPN outdoes itself in the stupidity department.

http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/teamrankings

Notice how the Phoenix Coyotes, the financial leach on the NHL and its real fans, is ranked 28th out of 122 teams that "give back to the fans in exchange for all the time, money and emotion the fans invest in them."

Um, ESPN? Phoenix doesn't have fans. The team steals money from other fans.

And how the hell did the Lightning get to be SECOND? Their fans don't "invest" any emotion, time, or money, unless it's the third round of the playoffs and the folks in St. Petersburg finally notice they actually have a good local team.

68th on the list is the Montreal Canadiens, two places ahead of the Pittsburgh Pirates. OK, so Montreal has a championship drought, and has been plagued by bad management and supposedly high ticket prices. But don't lump them in the same position with a baseball team whose management is on record as not giving a fuck about baseball, Pirates fans, or for that matter, the city of Pittsburgh. When was the last time they finished the season above .500? 1991?

Two places behind the worst team in the world at 72, is the Boston Bruins.
Didn't the Bruins just do something kinda cool lately? I could have sworn they went far into the playoffs...oh right. They won the STANLEY CUP. And last time I checked, their tickets weren't that bad.

I'd love to laugh at the Maple Leafs position at #120, but this list is for shit.

ESPN used to be a great place for sports.  Now it's just a bunch of people yelling about NASCAR (only a real sport to those who have difficulty in making left turns, enjoy wrecks, or can't amuse themselves at under 100 dB).

Something to believe in

"Well I see him on the TV
Preachin' 'bout the southern land
He tells me believe in Phoenix
Steals the money from my hands

Some say he's a good man
Lord I think he sinned, yeah"


So opens Poison's song (with some modifications), "Something to believe in."


Now it looks like we really do have something to believe in, if only to prove a point:
Want to piss of Gary Bettman? Buy a Winnipeg jersey.

In short:
Fuck you, Gary.
Go Winnipeg.

The two phrases really are interchangeable.

And now, a message from Mother of Kovalev

Hoo boy, such excitement, who would have thought?  So sorry poolish activities are  done for year—so Mother of Kovalev makes everyone else look smart—like you wouldn’t believe—and what thanks I get?  Hmmf—no gratitude, where were you raised, in barn? In Vancouver street?  And who did raising?  For shame.  Stanley Cup gorgeous as always.  Stanley Cup guy seems nice—his mother must be proud—white gloves always clean, Cup always shiny.  But what with hair?  Is natural color, I don’t think so.  What is this, Donald Trumpishness?  And such a nice boy. Vancouver fans are pigs, such sorry losers.  If Mama Kovalev’s wishes come true, not a cow left in province.   Hawks Fan deserved win, go figure.  Tell him Mama Kovalev sends congratulations—but warning, should not sit back in glory, watch  out-- next year the Year of Mama Kovalev! 

Some thoughts on last night's game

• Tim Thomas is a freak of nature.
• Roberto Luongo should decline his nomination and remove his name from consideration for the Vezina Trophy.
• Daniel and Henrik Sedin are nothing but typical chicken-swedes. And that sucks for the reputation of European players who actually perform when it matters.
• I said it: "The Bruins are going to score a breakaway goal before this period is over." And Patrice Bergeron proved me mostly right.
• Speaking of that goal, why was Luongo so mad? Is the ref supposed to whistle a puck dead because the goalie almost touched it?
• The Filthydelphia Flyers are largely to thank for Boston's success. Vancouver, especially the Sedins and Luongo, could learn a thing or two from this Bruins team who realized that no one gives you anything--you have to go out and take it by force.
• Gary Bettman should just resign. Every real hockey fan hates him for what he's done to the NHL. And he deserved the overpowering boos he got. Credit the Vancouver fans who made it clear it was not Chara, not Thomas, not the Bruins they were booing, but Bettman. 
• Vancouver residents (not the actual fans) are mindless morons. 
• The Bruins deserved this Cup. They are tough, gritty, skilled, well-coached, and hard-working.
• The Canucks did not deserve to be near the Cup. You cannot pretend that the games away from home don't count.
• Did I say Bettman should resign? Well, he should. He must at least keep his mouth shut and just hand the trophies over without trying to shout over the fans he has worked so diligently to screw over. 
• I am happy for my friends who happen to be Bruins fans. I'm not happy the Bruins won, but I'm happy for you. So with that, I will make the colors of this website Black and Gold until Free Agency begins, at which time it will revert to Montreal colors, as it will become clear that the Habs, after acquiring Brad Richards and buying out Scott Gomez, will be clear Cup favorites for 2012. 

Scores and Standings 6/16, "Bruins win the Cup, but Hawks Fan wins the Champeenship!" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 136 (135+1)
Lucic (F-Bos) W=1
St. Louis (F-TB) 
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 125 (124+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Kaberle (D-Bos) W=1
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Bride of Kovalev: 117 (114+3)
Thomas (G-Bos) W,SO=3
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det) 



4. Cousin Kovalev: 115 (115+0)
Kesler (F-Van) 0
Ehrhoff (D-Van) 0
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


5. P-Stone: 114 (113+1)
Chara (D-Bos) W=1
Luongo (G-Van) 0
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 102 (102+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 75 (72+3)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) 2A,W=3
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/15, "Roberto should keep his stupid mouth shut" Edition

Out sick yesterday. Barely alive today. Apologies.

In this blogger's opinion, Go Canucks. But if the Bruins win the Cup, they will do so because they deserve it more than Vancouver. They have played well in every game, while the Canucks have laid some real eggs in Boston. Roberto Luongo has given us the most inconsistent series performance ever (and that superlative is well-deserved). Even if he has a shutout tonight, he will not have redeemed himself. He has lost every away game in this series, and has done so in catastrophic fashion. The Sedins? They're only proving people like Don Cherry right.

As Derek has pointed out, the main reason the Bruins are playing tonight is Tim Thomas. When people like Lucic and Chara have had mediocre playoff performances, Tim Thomas has been making one ridiculous save after another, keeping Boston in games they had no right to be in.

Truth is, I'm not sure who I want to win this series. I despise the hypocrisy of people like Mark Recchi and the fans who agree with him, the ones who deplored Max Pacioretty going to a movie after his concussion, while watching Nathan Horton grinning from ear to ear as he vigorously waived a towel in a deafening, brightly-lit arena without so much as a blush. I'd like to ask Dr. Recchi and his crack medical team, Did the Bruins embellish Horton's injury? Why was Patches' injury so overblown, and Horton's was not? Here's a hint: both men were indeed seriously injured, and we laymen don't know what they are and are not capable of after a concussion. But the ad hominem shit needs to stop. Now.

But on the other hand, the Canucks have proven they do NOT deserve to be called "champions." Champions do not bite. Champions win away from home. Champions play to the best of their ability--they do not disappear in the finals (ahem, Sedins, Kesler, Luongo). Champions keep their effing mouths shut and respect the abilities of their opponents.

Win or lose, Tim Thomas probably deserves the Conn Smythe trophy.  But if there was ever an award for Dumbest Fuck of the Playoffs, that award would go to Roberto Luongo.

I actually kind of hope the Bruins win tonight, if only to prove several things:

• Away games count.
• Claude Julien is a better coach than Guy Carbonneau.
• Claude Julien is a WAY better coach than Jacques Martin.
• You have to man up and win a game against the guy who knocked out your young star. 
• Toughness still counts.
• You can't win without outstanding goaltending.
• The Habs are not a good team.

I say that last one out of love, not disrespect. The Habs have got to get their heads out of their asses and discover that "competence" is not good enough. Only by watching the Bruins (who came back from two down to beat the Habs) win the Cup will that point finally get through the thick skulls of Montreal's management.
A Bruins win may hurt, but it will be better in the long run for Montreal when they see what they have to do to compete with a Cup Winner.

But then again...it's the Bruins, and I really, really don't like the Bruins.



1. Hawks Fan: 135 (132+3)
Lucic (F-Bos) G,W=3
St. Louis (F-TB) 
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 124 (119+5)
H. Sedin (F-Van) G=2
Kaberle (D-Bos) 2A,W=3
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Cousin Kovalev: 115 (114+1)
Kesler (F-Van) 0
Ehrhoff (D-Van) A=1
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 114 (113+1)
Thomas (G-Bos) W=1
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


5. P-Stone: 112 (112+)
Chara (D-Bos) W=1
Luongo (G-Van) 0
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 102 (100+2)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 2A=2
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 72 (70+2)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) A,W=2
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/13, "Is this it?" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 132 (132+0)
Lucic (F-Bos) 0
St. Louis (F-TB) 
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 119 (118+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van) W=1
Kaberle (D-Bos) 0
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Cousin Kovalev: 114 (112+2)
Kesler (F-Van) W=1
Ehrhoff (D-Van) W=1
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 113 (113+0)
Thomas (G-Bos) 0
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


5. P-Stone: 112 (109+3)
Chara (D-Bos) 0
Luongo (G-Van) W,SO=3
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 100 (99+1)
D. Sedin (F-Van) W=1
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 70 (70+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) 0
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/9, "Claude Julien may actually be a good coach" Edition

Sure glad the Habs let Julien go. Jacques Martin is obviously much better.
Julien sure as hell doesn't know how to stop a powerplay that was running on all cylinders.


1. Hawks Fan: 132 (130+2)
Lucic (F-Bos) A,W=2
St. Louis (F-TB) 
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 118 (117+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Kaberle (D-Bos) W=1
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Bride of Kovalev: 113 (110+3)
Thomas (G-Bos) W,SO=3 
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


4. Cousin Kovalev: 112 (112+0)
Kesler (F-Van) 0
Ehrhoff (D-Van) 0
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


5. P-Stone: 109 (107+2)
Chara (D-Bos) A,W=2
Luongo (G-Van) 0
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 99 (99+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 70 (69+1)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) W=1
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/7, "Dr. Mark Recchi thinks Nathan Horton also 'embellished' his injury" Edition

Yeah, I went there.

1. Hawks Fan: 130 (129+1)
Lucic (F-Bos) W=1
St. Louis (F-TB) 
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 117 (115+2)
H. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Kaberle (D-Bos) A,W=2
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)



3. Cousin Kovalev: 112 (112+0)
Kesler (F-Van) 0
Ehrhoff (D-Van) 0
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 110 (109+1)
Thomas (G-Bos) W=1
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


5. P-Stone: 107 (104+3)
Chara (D-Bos) 2A,W=3
Luongo (G-Van) 0
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 99 (99+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 69 (68+1)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) W=1
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/6, "We'll just pretend I did the S&S yesterday" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 129 (127+2)
Lucic (F-Bos) G=2
St. Louis (F-TB) 
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 115 (114+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van) W=1
Kaberle (D-Bos) 0
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)



3. Cousin Kovalev: 112 (110+2)
Kesler (F-Van) W=1
Ehrhoff (D-Van) W=1
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 109 (109+0)
Thomas (G-Bos) 0
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


5. P-Stone: 104 (102+2)
Chara (D-Bos) A=1
Luongo (G-Van) W=1
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 99 (95+4)
D. Sedin (F-Van) G,A,W=4
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 68 (68+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) 0
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/2.1, "19 Seconds Might As Well Be Overtime" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 127 (127+0)
Lucic (F-Bos) 0
St. Louis (F-TB) 

Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 114 (113+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van) W=1
Kaberle (D-Bos) 0
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


 
3. Cousin Kovalev: 110 (107+3)
Kesler (F-Van) A,W=2
Ehrhoff (D-Van) W=1
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 109 (109+0)
Thomas (G-Bos) 0
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


5. P-Stone: 102 (99+3)
Chara (D-Bos) 0
Luongo (G-Van) W,SO=3
Stamkos (F-TB)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 95 (94+1)
D. Sedin (F-Van) W=1
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 68 (68+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) 0
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 6/2, "I suck at Math" Edition

So I've been meaning to go through all the players and re-calculate the stats and see if they matched up. I try to do it at the end of each round, but the NHL's weird schedule, combined with my own crazy calendar, made that impossible. Lo and behold, there is one extra point. Where I missed it, I have no idea, but P-Stone actually entered the Stanley Cup finals with 99, not 98 points. Everyone else checked out, but still, you guys deserve perfect scores so there is no doubt who wins this thing. Again, my apologies. 


Below is the breakdown of the points throughout the first three rounds of the playoffs. 

Scores and Standings 5/30, "Bruins-Canucks" Edition

Sorry about the delay. I was camping all weekend and didn't find out the Bruins beat the Lightning until today.

Now that the idiot Tampa Bay fans can go back to ignoring their team during the regular season, it's time for the Canucks to win this pool for me.


1. Hawks Fan: 127 (126+1)
St. Louis (F-TB) 0
Lucic (F-Bos) W=1
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 113 (112+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van)
Kaberle (D-Bos) W=1
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Bride of Kovalev: 109 (106+3)
Thomas (G-Bos) W,SO=3
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det) 


4. Cousin Kovalev: 107 (107+0)
Kesler (F-Van)
Ehrhoff (D-Van)
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


5. P-Stone: 98 (97+1)
Stamkos (F-TB) 0
Chara (D-Bos) W=1
Luongo (G-Van)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 94 (94+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van)
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 68 (67+1)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) W=1
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 5/26, "We don't need the Finals to know who's going to win the pool" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 126 (117+9)
St. Louis (F-TB) 2G,A,W=6
Lucic (F-Bos) G,A=3
Marleau (F-SJ)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 112 (110+2)
H. Sedin (F-Van)
Kaberle (D-Bos) 2A=2
Thornton (F-SJ)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Cousin Kovalev: 107 (107+0)
Kesler (F-Van)
Ehrhoff (D-Van)
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 106 (106+0)
Thomas (G-Bos) 0
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)



5. P-Stone: 97 (92+5)
Stamkos (F-TB) G,2A,W=5
Chara (D-Bos) 0
Luongo (G-Van)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)

 
6. Derek: 94 (94+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van)
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 67 (67+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos)
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 5/25, "What else did you expect from the Sharks?" Edition

Sorry about the delay. Today you get a two-fer. 

1. Hawks Fan: 117 (113+4)
Marleau (F-SJ) G=2
St. Louis (F-TB) 0
Lucic (F-Bos) A,W=2
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf)


2. Father of Kovalev: 110 (106+4)
H. Sedin (F-Van) 2A,W=3
Thornton (F-SJ) 0
Kaberle (D-Bos) W=1
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


3. Cousin Kovalev: 107 (103+4)
Kesler (F-Van) G,W=3
Ehrhoff (D-Van) W=1
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Bride of Kovalev: 106 (103+3)
Pavelski (F-SJ) 2A=2
Thomas (G-Bos) W=1
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


5. Derek: 94 (91+3)
D. Sedin (F-Van) A,W=2
Boyle (D-SJ) A=1
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


6. P-Stone: 92 (88+4)
Stamkos (F-TB) A=1
Chara (D-Bos) A,W=2
Luongo (G-Van) W=1
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 67 (66+1)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) W=1
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 5/23, "You can't keep a good man down" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 113 (112+1)
Marleau (F-SJ) A=1
St. Louis (F-TB)
Lucic (F-Bos)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf) 



2. Father of Kovalev: 106 (101+5)
H. Sedin (F-Van) 4A,W=5
Thornton (F-SJ) 0
Kaberle (D-Bos)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)



T3. Bride of Kovalev: 103 (103+0)
Pavelski (F-SJ) 0
Thomas (G-Bos)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


T3. Cousin Kovalev: 103 (99+4)
Kesler (F-Van) G,W=3
Ehrhoff (D-Van) W=1
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


5. Derek: 91 (87+4)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 3A,W=4
Boyle (D-SJ) 0
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


6. P-Stone: 88 (87+1)
Stamkos (F-TB)
Chara (D-Bos)
Luongo (G-Van) W=1
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 66 (66+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos)
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings, "Wait, we're still here?" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 112 (109+3)
Marleau (F-SJ)
St. Louis (F-TB) G,W=3
Lucic (F-Bos) 0
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf) 


2. Bride of Kovalev: 103 (103+0)
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Thomas (G-Bos) 0
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)




3. Father of Kovalev: 101 (100+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van)
Thornton (F-SJ)
Kaberle (D-Bos) A=1
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)


4. Cousin Kovalev: 99 (99+0)
Kesler (F-Van)
Ehrhoff (D-Van)
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


T5. Derek: 87 (87+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


T5. P-Stone: 87 (86+1)
Stamkos (F-TB) W=1
Chara (D-Bos) 0
Luongo (G-Van)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 66 (66+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) 0
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 5/21, "The End of the World" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 109 (103+6)
Marleau (F-SJ) 2G,A,W=6
St. Louis (F-TB)
Lucic (F-Bos)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf) 


2. Bride of Kovalev: 103 (102+1)
Pavelski (F-SJ) W=1
Thomas (G-Bos)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)



3. Father of Kovalev: 100 (95+5)
H. Sedin (F-Van) A=1
Thornton (F-SJ) 3A,W=4
Kaberle (D-Bos)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi)




4. Cousin Kovalev: 99 (99+0)
Kesler (F-Van) 0
Ehrhoff (D-Van) 0
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


5. Derek: 87 (83+4)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 0
Boyle (D-SJ) G,A,W=4
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)



6. P-Stone: 86 (86+0)
Stamkos (F-TB)
Chara (D-Bos)
Luongo (G-Van) 0
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 66 (66+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos)
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 5/20, "J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 103 (101+2)
Marleau (F-SJ)
St. Louis (F-TB) 0
Lucic (F-Bos) A,W=2
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf) 


2. Bride of Kovalev: 102 (99+3)
Pavelski (F-SJ)
Thomas (G-Bos) W,SO=3
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


3. Cousin Kovalev: 99 (99+0)
Kesler (F-Van)
Ehrhoff (D-Van)
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Father of Kovalev: 95 (94+1)
H. Sedin (F-Van)
Thornton (F-SJ)
Kaberle (D-Bos) W=1
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi) 


5. P-Stone: 86 (85+1)
Stamkos (F-TB) 0
Chara (D-Bos) W=1
Luongo (G-Van)
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 83 (83+0)
D. Sedin (F-Van)
Boyle (D-SJ)
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 66 (65+1)
Seidenberg (D-Bos) W=1
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)

Scores and Standings 5/19, "Yup, Ben Eager's still an asshole" Edition

1. Hawks Fan: 101 (99+2)
Marleau (F-SJ) G=2
St. Louis (F-TB)
Lucic (F-Bos)
Rafalski (D-Det)
Keith (D-Chi)
Miller (G-Buf) 


T2. Bride of Kovalev: 99 (98+1)
Pavelski (F-SJ) A=1
Thomas (G-Bos)
Ovechkin (F-Was)
Datsyuk (F-Det) 
Visnovsky (D-Ana)
Lidstrom (D-Det)


T2. Cousin Kovalev: 99 (96+3)
Kesler (F-Van) W=1
Ehrhoff (D-Van) A,W=2
Briere (F-Phi) 
Hartnell (F-Phi) 
Subban (D-Mon)
Rinne (G-Nas)


4. Father of Kovalev: 94 (89+5)
H. Sedin (F-Van) 3A,W=4
Thornton (F-SJ) A=1
Kaberle (D-Bos)
Zetterberg (F-Det) 
Letang (D-Pit)
Bobrovsky (G-Phi) 


5. P-Stone: 85 (84+1)
Stamkos (F-TB)
Chara (D-Bos)
Luongo (G-Van) W=1
Kronwall (D-Det) 
Perry (F-Ana) 
Carter (F-Phi)


6. Derek: 83 (77+6)
D. Sedin (F-Van) 2G,W=5
Boyle (D-SJ) A=1
Franzen (F-Det)
Backstrom (F-Was)
Wideman (D-Was)
Howard (G-Det)


7. Mother of Kovalev: 65 (65+0)
Seidenberg (D-Bos)
Brian Boyle (F-NYR)
Laich (F-Was)
Giroux (F-Phi) 
Meszaros (D-Phi) 
Fleury (G-Pit)