I thought about e-mailing the doorknobs at the Philadelphia Inquirer or Daily News, but what's the point? Teaching Philadelphia fans what hockey is, and is not, is pointless. These geniuses apparently have jobs in Toronto with the League officials and have seen replays that none of the rest of the world have. Please, Mr. Tim Panaccio, produce your evidence that the puck was touched above the crossbar. And Ed Moran, you are welcome to show your video showing that Mike Richards did not hit Kovalev knee-on-knee.
Dumb asses.
And with that, I present my own version of Ten Reasons why Philadelphia sucks:
10. 30th Street Station and the surrounding neighborhood. For those of you reading, this is an excellent spot to ply your trade of giving handjobs for crack.
9. The Broad Street Bullies of the 70's. Mr. Schultz, meet Larry Robinson. The "Hammer" indeed. Big Bird turned you into a nail, my friend. Which brings me to:
8. Bobby Clarke. I once said that if the Flyers ever won the Stanley Cup with him as GM, I would eat a bowl of worms. Looks like I win. (By the way Mr. Clarke, it's called goaltending. You might have tried getting someone who could actually do it.)
7. The dirtiest bunch of no-talent ass-clowns to call themselves "tough" since New Kids on the Block. News flash, Phlyers fans: this team is not the Broad Street Bullies. They're dirty, cheap, and are a disgrace. I'm looking your way Steve Downie. Any time, any place.
6. Three-eyed fish in the Shlukckikoohoolikill River. Grody.
5. Daniel Briere, or as I affectionately call him, "Little Bitch." No, I am not mad he didn't sign with the Habs. I'm grateful he didn't. I have hated that little twerp since game one of the 2006-2007 season. Thanks for throwing away Carey Price's first shutout puck, you ass. By the way, you suck in the defensive end. And everyone knows it.
4. The jerseys. Why, God, why?
3. Eric Lindros. Possibly the most overpaid, overrated, underperforming, douche-baggiest douche bag to ever lace 'em up. High sticks abounded when he "hit." Possibly whinier than Daniel Briere, if that's possible. Decided to be the most arrogant prick the world has ever seen when he refused to be drafted by the Nordiques. Before he had even played ONE NHL game, he was already dictating terms to NHL teams, spurred on by his doting father. This did have a positive outcome, since the aforementioned genius Bobby Clarke traded away Mike Ricci, Peter Forsberg, and a first-round pick who became Jocelyn Thibault--who was eventually converted into trade-bait for Patrick Roy, for the center of the Legion of Broom.
2. I admit, I'm still bitter about the Flyers getting John LeClair and Eric Desjardins for Mark Recchi--who they got back anyway.
1. Flyers fans, who pride themselves on being ignorant, violent, boozing boors. These idiots are enamored of violence and vulgarity. Their philosophy is, the dirtier, the nastier, the cruder, the better. They are proud of booing Santa Claus. They are proud of storming the ice when they became the first expansion team to win the Cup. They are proud of in-the-stands violence against other fans. They are among the worst fans in hockey.
And there you have it. Philadelphia is a cesspool of muck and filth. Its fans are crass, its players are overrated, and the city itself is disgusting.
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