Ladies and Gentlemen, too long have we gone without recognizing the superlatives in the NHL. While the league does recognize some accomplishments, it ignores other significant milestones.
So we here at Kovalev's Kousin have come out with ten very special awards to recognize these teams and individuals:
The Jerry Seinfeld Trophy: awarded to the most obnoxious, asshole fans in the league
The Late 90's Rangers Memorial Cup: awarded to the league's most overrated team
The Alexandre Daigle Memorial Trophy: awarded to the league's most overrated player
The Gary Bettman Trophy: awarded for the league's worst management
The Barry Melrose Trophy: awarded to the league's most obnoxious douchebag broadcaster
The Mario Tremblay memorial Trophy: awarded to the league's worst coach
The Gorton's Fisherman Memorial Trophy: awarded for the league's worst uniform
The Claude Lemieux Trophy: awarded to the league's biggest pansy for acts of cowardice and gutlessness.
The Alexei Yashin Memorial Trophy: awarded to the league's most overpaid player
Most Ridiculous Location for a Hockey Team (soon to be named after its first recipient): awarded to the team that has no reason to be where it is.
Award finalists will be announced after the playoffs are over. Until then, feel free to post YOUR nominees in the comments section.
2 comments:
Here are my picks:
The Jerry Seinfeld Trophy: Carolina Hurricanes fans (they know jack sh*t about hockey and how the game is suppsoed to be played
The Late 90's Rangers Memorial Cup: San Jose Sharks (I think they wrapped this one up with another 1st round playoff exit)
The Alexandre Daigle Memorial Trophy: Sidney Crosby (He's not even the best player on his team!)
The Gary Bettman Trophy: Tampa Bay Lightning (You hire a coach and then fire him 3 weeks into the season?)
The Barry Melrose Trophy: Jack Edwards (This should be a landslide)
The Mario Tremblay memorial Trophy: Guy Carbonneau / Bob Gainey (This was supposed to be the year the Canadiens made the big push)
The Gorton's Fisherman Memorial Trophy: Montreal Canadiens (Let me start by saying I like their home and away uni's but the jailhouse throwbacks they wore against the Bruins were absolutely hideous)
The Claude Lemieux Trophy: Sean Avery (just because I can't stand the guy)
The Alexei Yashin Memorial Trophy: Rick Dipietro (I thought about putting Chara here but couldnt based on the fact that he is a Norris Trophy finalist and probably the teams MVP. Dipietro was give an absurd contract last year and what did he do for his team this year? That's right, he didnt even play! Vincent Lecavalier was a good candidate too)
Most Ridiculous Location for a Hockey Team (soon to be named after its first recipient): Phoenix (Hockey in a desert?)
You know, I hadn't even thought about Montreal's uniforms until I looked at http://www.nhluniforms.com/ for possible nominees, and the repressed memories of those fashion-disasters came flooding back.
Yeah, those are a definite front-runner.
Can't really argue with most of your other picks either.
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