Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
They finally went and did it
Kris Draper let his kid take a dump in the Stanley Cup.
In the quest for ever more ridiculous and wacky things to do with the Cup, hockey players have bathed their babies in it, taken it to the tops of mountains, and jumped on trampolines with it. So where do we go from there? Why, we defile it, of course.
Let's not beat around the bush here. Kris Draper let his snot-nosed rugrat kid take a shit in the Holy Grail of hockey. Furthermore, Draper was quoted saying, "We had a pretty good laugh."
Interesting thing, Kris: I don't find that funny at all. Maybe I'll start using Red Wings jerseys to wipe my ass from now on.
In the quest for ever more ridiculous and wacky things to do with the Cup, hockey players have bathed their babies in it, taken it to the tops of mountains, and jumped on trampolines with it. So where do we go from there? Why, we defile it, of course.
Let's not beat around the bush here. Kris Draper let his snot-nosed rugrat kid take a shit in the Holy Grail of hockey. Furthermore, Draper was quoted saying, "We had a pretty good laugh."
Interesting thing, Kris: I don't find that funny at all. Maybe I'll start using Red Wings jerseys to wipe my ass from now on.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Marian Hossa: Traitor, Opportunist, or Idealist?
In the aftermath of Marian Hossa, signing with Detroit, I'd like to take a look at the three gut reactions I've seen from people. Some are calling him a flat-out traitor for abandoning the Penguins and signing with the very team that beat them for the Stanley Cup. Others are more sympathetic (and reasonable) but still think Hossa is going with the "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em" approach. They see Hossa as being mercenary in his decision. Then there are a few (not many) who instead think of Hossa as being the kind of hockey player we all want on our teams. They think of Hossa as a guy who, instead of riches or fame, is determined to win the Cup.
Those who are calling Hossa a traitor are largely made up of Penguins fans who see his signing with Detroit as an insult. "Why doesn't he want to play with Crosby," they ask. They say all sorts of untrue and ridiculous things like, he's trying to stick it to Pittsburgh for not giving him a good contract, or that he's a cold-blooded snake who's going to the highest bidder. Let me set the record straight. Johnny Damon is a traitorous mercenary who not only went to the highest bidder, he went to his former club's age-old rival. He left thousands of fans who has paid good money for Damon jerseys, and a cult following that embraced him and his crazy hairdo, all while playfully kidding about his less-than-stellar arm. And he stabbed those people in the back.
If anyone bought a Penguins Hossa jersey, they're a fool. He was with Pittsburgh for less than half a season. He was traded there, and everyone knew he might not stay. He had not built up a fanbase or a cult following of any kind. He got on the plane like he was told and flew to Pittsburgh to finish his contract. True, going all the way to the finals makes a team into a very tight group, and it's hard to leave that behind. But Hossa was a rental, and everyone knew it. Detroit is not a hated rival of the Penguins. If Hossa had gone to the Flyers, those Penguins fans might have a point. But Detroit is in a different conference, and there is NO history between these two clubs beyond these most recent finals.
Which brings us to those who are calling Hossa an opportunist. They see his motivation as being selfish. Some think he is going to the highest bidder (which is false), while others are actually faulting him for going where he thinks he can win. The simple fact is, Hossa signed a one-year deal at 7.45 million dollars. That may seem like a lot, but when Mats Sundin is getting offers at 20 million for two seasons, and Daniel Briere made 10 million last year, it's actually below his market value. Even more surprising is the one-year deal. Players typically never want one-year contracts. It puts pressure on them to perform, and puts their future in question. If he's hurt next year his value will quickly plummet. Players usually seek out multi-year deals that will provide a guranteed income for a long time. Hossa instead has opted for a short-term, below market value deal. His reason, of course, is obvious in that he wants to play for a winner.
Some people are actually faulting him for that decision. They are usually the same people who rant and rave about stars who care only about money, players who line their own pockets at the expense of both their teams and their own playoff success. Apologies to Bruins fans, but Zdeno Chara is an example. He is grossly overpaid, went to the highest bidder (a team that had little precedent of success), and his salary is eating up cap space that could instead be used to provide quality teammates. I would classify Nikolai Khabibulin the same way, though his contract now seems much more affordable given the rapid inflation in salaries.
Marian Hossa should instead be compared to Ray Bourque. Bourque wanted, more than anything else, to win the Cup with the Bruins. When that dream was dashed, he reluctantly opted for simply winning the Cup (every good Canadian's dream).
Here we come to it. Every hockey player has a favorite team growing up, and a dream of winning the Stanley Cup. When the dream of playing in the NHL becomes reality, it is time to put aside the naive loyalty to one's hometown or the team he grew up cheering for. Ray Bourque was born in/near Montreal, but his loyalty was to the team that made him an NHL player. We fans are allowed the luxury of cheering for whoever we want, regardless of how bad their organization or management is. (Blackhawks fans, back me up here.) NHL players have to see beyond that and play for organizations they believe in. For some NHLers, they have to simply find employment where they can find it. And so, the only real dream a hockey player has left is to win the Stanley Cup. But many Europeans are criticized for their indifference to the Cup. They are largely accused of lacking the determination to win the Cup that most North Americans have.
Marian Hossa, a Slovakian, has one obvious purpose. He wants to win the Stanley Cup. He has sacrificed money and long-term security in order to play for a winner. He will make Detroit a better team, and Detroit will give him the opportunity win. We cannot fault him for his decision. We should instead praise his determination. When we say that players should not be so concerned with money, that the Cup is all that should matter, we'd better mean it.
Those who are calling Hossa a traitor are largely made up of Penguins fans who see his signing with Detroit as an insult. "Why doesn't he want to play with Crosby," they ask. They say all sorts of untrue and ridiculous things like, he's trying to stick it to Pittsburgh for not giving him a good contract, or that he's a cold-blooded snake who's going to the highest bidder. Let me set the record straight. Johnny Damon is a traitorous mercenary who not only went to the highest bidder, he went to his former club's age-old rival. He left thousands of fans who has paid good money for Damon jerseys, and a cult following that embraced him and his crazy hairdo, all while playfully kidding about his less-than-stellar arm. And he stabbed those people in the back.
If anyone bought a Penguins Hossa jersey, they're a fool. He was with Pittsburgh for less than half a season. He was traded there, and everyone knew he might not stay. He had not built up a fanbase or a cult following of any kind. He got on the plane like he was told and flew to Pittsburgh to finish his contract. True, going all the way to the finals makes a team into a very tight group, and it's hard to leave that behind. But Hossa was a rental, and everyone knew it. Detroit is not a hated rival of the Penguins. If Hossa had gone to the Flyers, those Penguins fans might have a point. But Detroit is in a different conference, and there is NO history between these two clubs beyond these most recent finals.
Which brings us to those who are calling Hossa an opportunist. They see his motivation as being selfish. Some think he is going to the highest bidder (which is false), while others are actually faulting him for going where he thinks he can win. The simple fact is, Hossa signed a one-year deal at 7.45 million dollars. That may seem like a lot, but when Mats Sundin is getting offers at 20 million for two seasons, and Daniel Briere made 10 million last year, it's actually below his market value. Even more surprising is the one-year deal. Players typically never want one-year contracts. It puts pressure on them to perform, and puts their future in question. If he's hurt next year his value will quickly plummet. Players usually seek out multi-year deals that will provide a guranteed income for a long time. Hossa instead has opted for a short-term, below market value deal. His reason, of course, is obvious in that he wants to play for a winner.
Some people are actually faulting him for that decision. They are usually the same people who rant and rave about stars who care only about money, players who line their own pockets at the expense of both their teams and their own playoff success. Apologies to Bruins fans, but Zdeno Chara is an example. He is grossly overpaid, went to the highest bidder (a team that had little precedent of success), and his salary is eating up cap space that could instead be used to provide quality teammates. I would classify Nikolai Khabibulin the same way, though his contract now seems much more affordable given the rapid inflation in salaries.
Marian Hossa should instead be compared to Ray Bourque. Bourque wanted, more than anything else, to win the Cup with the Bruins. When that dream was dashed, he reluctantly opted for simply winning the Cup (every good Canadian's dream).
Here we come to it. Every hockey player has a favorite team growing up, and a dream of winning the Stanley Cup. When the dream of playing in the NHL becomes reality, it is time to put aside the naive loyalty to one's hometown or the team he grew up cheering for. Ray Bourque was born in/near Montreal, but his loyalty was to the team that made him an NHL player. We fans are allowed the luxury of cheering for whoever we want, regardless of how bad their organization or management is. (Blackhawks fans, back me up here.) NHL players have to see beyond that and play for organizations they believe in. For some NHLers, they have to simply find employment where they can find it. And so, the only real dream a hockey player has left is to win the Stanley Cup. But many Europeans are criticized for their indifference to the Cup. They are largely accused of lacking the determination to win the Cup that most North Americans have.
Marian Hossa, a Slovakian, has one obvious purpose. He wants to win the Stanley Cup. He has sacrificed money and long-term security in order to play for a winner. He will make Detroit a better team, and Detroit will give him the opportunity win. We cannot fault him for his decision. We should instead praise his determination. When we say that players should not be so concerned with money, that the Cup is all that should matter, we'd better mean it.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Strike Two
Bob Gainey, already down a strike for whiffing on Marion Hossa, has managed to swing at a ball in the dirt, thereby proving he is both an asshole and an idiot. He has just traded Mikhail Grabovski to the Maple Leafs for some asshole named Greg Pateryn and a second round pick in some year that is not even close to being soon. The disturbing thing here is that Grabs had some awesome upside, but he was not one of Guy Carbonneau and Bob Gainey's favored butt-boys (a la Latendresse, Higgins, or Brisebois). So Bob and Guy decided not to use the speedy German (or Michael Ryder, who has a knack for big-game play) when the Habs got behind the 8-ball against the Flyers last year.
And so, Bob and Guy have decided to blame Grabovski for a lack of offensive production, which they think had nothing to do with the fact that they never LET HIM PLAY. Another good player goes bye-bye for a song (just like Huet) and Bob Gainey pats himself on the back for being a shrewd dealer. All his fanboys will praise him for yet more addition by subtraction, but I've seen through the bullshit folk-hero myth he has cultivated: Bob has one strike left. He'd better as hell sign some big free agent like Sundin, or I will start to write daily letters demanding his termination.
And so, Bob and Guy have decided to blame Grabovski for a lack of offensive production, which they think had nothing to do with the fact that they never LET HIM PLAY. Another good player goes bye-bye for a song (just like Huet) and Bob Gainey pats himself on the back for being a shrewd dealer. All his fanboys will praise him for yet more addition by subtraction, but I've seen through the bullshit folk-hero myth he has cultivated: Bob has one strike left. He'd better as hell sign some big free agent like Sundin, or I will start to write daily letters demanding his termination.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
T-minus 1 hour and 48 minutes to free agency...
Free agency is less than 2 hours away. Outside of the playoffs, this is my favorite time for hockey (at least the first couple days anyway).
There are mixed sources that the Bruins are going to make a run after Marian Hossa. The Boston papers are saying that there is absolutely no possibility of the B's nabbing him. However, sources out of NY say the Bruins are putting together a serious offer of 12 years, in the range of $100 million for the most sought after figure on the market.
As much as I would LOVE to see Marian Hossa in a Bruins uniform, and how badly this team needs a player of his statue, I do not think it would be smart for the Bruins to make an offer such as this. Hossa is 29, and to sign a guy for that long, who will turn 30 next season, does not make sense from a long term standpoint, especially for a team who seems to be building from a youth movement (although you never know what management of this team will do). Besides lets face the fact, this team WILL NOT be making a serious run at the cup anytime soon. After watching this Bruin team against the Canadiens in the playoffs this year, I can take the homer route and say that this team is one Marian Hossa type of player away from being a serious contender (I think I was at the time), but from a realistic standpoint, Hossa will not solve this teams problems, and if anything he will only bring on more future problems for this team. I think he is too big of a cap hit for a team that needs a lot more than just a prominent goal scorer.
I love the idea of the Glen Murray for Mathieu Schneider swap. Murray, in my eyes, has seen his better days behind him, and realistically doesn't fit in this team long term. Schneider, I think can be a Chris Chelios type and play well into his 40's. The NHL is set up now for puck moving defensemen to extend the longevity of their careers. Spend the money to pick up a young, puck moving defenseman a la Brian Campell, Wade Redden. The Bruins already have a great player in Patrice Bergeron coming back this season. That's the equivilant of a top freee agent signing itself.
So if Hossa signs with the Hub, I guess that leaves me no choice but to jump on the bandwagon. If he goes somewhere else, I would give kudos to the B's brass for not making that long term commitment. Copy what the the Canadiens are doing. Build from within, then spend the money on the key pieces to put you over the top. I can't believe I just said that...
There are mixed sources that the Bruins are going to make a run after Marian Hossa. The Boston papers are saying that there is absolutely no possibility of the B's nabbing him. However, sources out of NY say the Bruins are putting together a serious offer of 12 years, in the range of $100 million for the most sought after figure on the market.
As much as I would LOVE to see Marian Hossa in a Bruins uniform, and how badly this team needs a player of his statue, I do not think it would be smart for the Bruins to make an offer such as this. Hossa is 29, and to sign a guy for that long, who will turn 30 next season, does not make sense from a long term standpoint, especially for a team who seems to be building from a youth movement (although you never know what management of this team will do). Besides lets face the fact, this team WILL NOT be making a serious run at the cup anytime soon. After watching this Bruin team against the Canadiens in the playoffs this year, I can take the homer route and say that this team is one Marian Hossa type of player away from being a serious contender (I think I was at the time), but from a realistic standpoint, Hossa will not solve this teams problems, and if anything he will only bring on more future problems for this team. I think he is too big of a cap hit for a team that needs a lot more than just a prominent goal scorer.
I love the idea of the Glen Murray for Mathieu Schneider swap. Murray, in my eyes, has seen his better days behind him, and realistically doesn't fit in this team long term. Schneider, I think can be a Chris Chelios type and play well into his 40's. The NHL is set up now for puck moving defensemen to extend the longevity of their careers. Spend the money to pick up a young, puck moving defenseman a la Brian Campell, Wade Redden. The Bruins already have a great player in Patrice Bergeron coming back this season. That's the equivilant of a top freee agent signing itself.
So if Hossa signs with the Hub, I guess that leaves me no choice but to jump on the bandwagon. If he goes somewhere else, I would give kudos to the B's brass for not making that long term commitment. Copy what the the Canadiens are doing. Build from within, then spend the money on the key pieces to put you over the top. I can't believe I just said that...
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