If Jacques Martin were a good coach (and he's not)...

...he would let Jaroslav Halak play against the Blackhawks so we could see how he bounces back after a bad loss. (Martin Brodeur is pretty good at getting shutouts immediately after getting shelled. Of course, somewhere along the way someone had to give him the chance to show he was capable of that.)

...he would permanently retire Guy Carbonneau's Line-o-Matic (TM). Instilling every player with a fear of failure is debilitating. This team of strangers badly needs some time to develop chemistry, and they're not getting it.

Real Quick

Thomas Plekanec reminded me so much of Saku Koivu during his overtime rush to assist on the winning goal, I really had to look twice to make sure it wasn't the dearly-departed Captain. Seriously.

NHL 2K10 on Wii

We cover a lot of hockey here, and I thought I would offer this writer's opinion on one of the newest hockey video games, NHL 2K10 on Wii from 2K Sports.

I have owned previous NHL titles, the last EA version being the infamous NHL 2005 for PC. That one had some compelling management options, but absolutely no create-a-player. After that I switched to 2K's offerings on Xbox (original), buying 2K6 and 2K7, both reasonably fun, but neither stupendous.

Fast-forward three years, to me buying NHL 2K10 for Wii.


















Opening the box, one finds that the game's manual is short and shallow. It (briefly) explains the control scheme for different options such as Wii-mote, classic controller, etc. The game purports to work with Motion Plus, the peripheral that supposedly offers true 1:1 motion sensitivity.
Unless the user changes the default settings, using the Motion Plus controller makes forward passing impossible. It is possible to score, but you must revert to 1920's NHL rules, using only back-passes a la rugby in order to advance up ice (all while the CPU has no such handicap). After changing the settings to allow slightly more modern passing, the next stumbling block with Motion Plus is getting the game to acknowledge shots. Players will watch as their point men reach back for a slap shot, hesitate, bring their stick down, reach back again, drift backwards past the blue line, and either hopefully go offsides or have the puck stolen for a breakaway. The game's manual only states to hold the B button while swinging the remote in order to shoot (while using Motion Plus). Users will struggle and ultimately fail to decipher whether they should release B upon making the shot, or hold B while following through, or some combination of only tapping B during the wind-up or follow-through.
In short, Motion Plus does not work with the game.


















Users will have better success without Motion Plus, but the experience will be just as frustrating. Using only the remote, poke checking is done by thrusting it forward. Unfortunately, if a your poke-check is successful, you will also shoot the puck to the other end for an icing call, as shooting is also done by simply swinging the remote. And, as there is no Motion Plus to tell the subtle difference between a thrust and a waggle, the Wii remote thinks it is doing both.

Or neither. Should your poke-check be unsuccessful, which seems to be the case most of the time, be prepared to watch the opposing player zip right around your defender to score an easy goal.

Sliders have always been a great way to customize a sports game to suit a player's comfort level. The sliders in NHL 2K10 are sparse, and ultimately useless. The only slider to adjust your own effectiveness in the defensive zone is for body checks. And anyone who has played hockey videogames knows that body checks are a hit/miss-by-a-mile proposition. Sweeps, poke checks, and stick lifts are much more effective, but there is no such slider to adjust HOW effective they are in this game. And at every difficulty level, that effectiveness is irrevocably set to "Not very damn much."

The most damning aspect of the game is its tendency to lock up. You'll hear music skip as the console tries to log in, watch the curser bounce erratically over the screen as it struggles with hit detection on menu bars, and you'll lose games. After setting my lineup and playing a season-opening game, the system locked up as it tried to return to the menu. After re-starting the system, I discovered that all my progress had been lost. This issue plagued last year's Wii iteration, and it is inexcusable for it to exist for a second year.

After two days, this $50 game and the $20 Motion Plus attachment went back to the retailer, who finally agreed to take them back after a lot of arguing.

Spare yourself the headache, and the heartache of a bad game. If you own only a Wii, I feel your pain, as I'm in the same boat. This was my only chance to see Koivu and Kovalev in a Habs jersey once again. If you are fortunate enough to have a PS3 or 360, I hear EA's offering is pretty decent.

Trade Sergei Kostytsin for Saku Koivu

I'm just saying.

Standing O

Interesting night. Kovalev returned to Montreal, where he made the game-winning goal possible, and scored an insurance goal himself. The fans cheered for Kovalev when he scored, and again when he was named a star of the game and came out for a curtain call.

I feel the same way, and may have applauded Kovy's play had I been there, but I am uncertain whether I would have cheered him while at the same time booing the Montreal Canadiens. After all, those players in Bleu-Blanc-Rouge CHOSE to come play in Montreal, knowing exactly what sort of mess they were getting into. Don't they deserve our respect?

And then, I consider that the Habs, at present, stink.

They're horrendous.

There is hardly anyone on that team I am remotely interested in, and their coach has yet to deliver on his promise to deliver a team that breaks out with any efficiency, or maintains any sort of sustained possession.
I also remember that Alex Kovalev really, really wanted to stay in Montreal. And a deal was on the table, but Bob Gainey chose to act like a petulant teenager, impatiently withdrawing the offer before the ink had even dried.

So I view Saturday night's "Rocky IV" moment as not only a respectful welcome to a past hero, but also a clear indication of how dissatisfied the fans are with the management, coaching, and play of this current Montreal team. If Gainey had assembled a decent team, or had kept some semblance of continuity, the Habs might not be a glorified AHL team today.

Context is everything. And for the Montreal Gazette writers who criticize the fans every time they boo, I offer this:
Montreal fans boo because they care. We are not Hurricanes fans. When the team plays badly, we know it, and we demand better. Yes, we are demanding. Should we just cheer blindly and ignorantly? Should we ignore the rules and just think that every penalty called against the Habs is unjustified, every goal scored against is the result of cheating? Habs fans actually go to games even when the team is in a down year (other recent Cup winners cannot claim the same).
We know when the team plays badly. We also know when the team plays well. Be glad that Montreal has fans who know the difference. Why should we accept the "At least he tried" mentality that allowed Patrice Brisebois to desecrate the Habs uniform?
Whether or not you agree that Kovalev should have stayed in Montreal, the results speak for themselves: The Habs suck, and Kovalev, who could have stayed a Hab, scored a goal and an assist. The fans merely pointed out the disparity.

The Montreal Canadiens: a strange little team

Georges Laraque, who currently wears #17 for Les Canadiens, has asked to wear his preferred number, 27. Apparently Bob Gainey, or "the management" told him no, since it might upset some of the remaining Kovalev fans.

If Laraque had asked to wear Koivu's 11, I would definitely understand a refusal. But this is ridiculous. Montreal's management wanted to make a clean break from the old team and head in a new direction. Yet they're holding on to a number that belongs to a departed player, with whom they made it very clear they had no interest in continuing a relationship.

What is WITH this team? If they wanted Kovalev to wear #27 for Montreal, they should have re-signed him. And yes, the fault was entirely with Bob Gainey for not re-signing him. If they wanted to make a clean break, then they should make it a clean break: put #27 up for grabs and move on.

Dunder-Mifflin Canadiens report, October 5 edition

'The game Martin favours is "more demanding physically" but offers greater chances of moving the puck efficiently out of the defensive zone – which, Martin says, will help Carey Price by reducing the amount of time the Canadiens are playing in their own end.'
-HabsInsideOut.com

Uh-huh. In the first two games, Montreal allowed a total 81 shots, and that against two of the lesser teams in the NHL. The ONLY reason they won, and everyone knows this, was Carey Price, who stopped all but four of those shots.

Another brilliant point HabsInsideOut made during the summer was, "How bad was this team [last year]?"
Answer: Not as bad as this POS team skating in front of us. Corrollary: While I still disagree with the manner in which the team has handled him, Carey Price IS the real deal. Which brings us to my next point...

There's another team that comes to mind when we talk about Jacques Martin and his "system." There, an all-star goaltender toiled in obscurity, facing a barrage of shots, all while his team provided neither offensive nor defensive support. Finally, that goaltender had enough and left.
That was the Florida Panthers while they had Roberto Luongo.
Is this what we have to look forward to under Martin?

Post-game thoughts

I don't normally do post-mortems unless it's for a Bruins-Habs game, but this being the first game with the all-new Dunder-Mifflin Canadiens, I'd like to offer some observations.

• Hal Gill SUUUUUCKS
• Carey Price bailed the Habs out way too many times, and congratulations to him on making all those saves. BUT: rebounds! Jeez.
  
• If the Montreal management is determined to have a butterfly goalie in net, they ought to just trade Price and keep Halak as the starter. Price is NOT a butterfly goalie. He is a hybrid like Martin Brodeur, and it's a ridiculous shame that everyone is trying to turn him into something he's not. I thought Melanson's departure was a sign that things would change...
  
• 46 shots on net is unacceptable. Montreal has a long history of allowing way too many shots. Why is this? The coaching is different. The roster is completely different. Bob Gainey is still in charge. Is he the culprit? Whatever the cause, it had better get fixed really damn soon.
  
• The Toronto refs are as crooked and corrupt as ever. Getting shoved into the opposing goalie does not mean you get a penalty.
  
• Mike Komisarek is just as immature, petulant, and douchey as Sergei Kostitsyn. I'm actually looking forward to watching Milan Lucic pound his bitchy ass this season.
  
• The top line of Calamari, Gionta, and Gomez looks really good. But they still can't break out for shit, and if one of them gets injured, it's going to be a very, very bad season.
  
• Power play looks very solid. It's obvious they spent a lot of time working on that during the pre-season.
• If Bob Cole was right, and this is the first time in history that Montreal has not had a Captain, then it's obvious that Bob Gainey made a serious mistake in letting Saku Koivu go. Actually, Gainey failed to retain ANY leadership in Montreal. It's not like he LET all those free agents go--he was UNABLE to sign them. And on top of that, he let the best leader of them all go willingly. That, in my opinion, constitutes horrendous management.
  

It's a long season, and it's hard to deduct the end result from the first game, but I've been able to spot some trends from first games in the past, and these are the ones I noticed last night.

I didn't catch the Bruins game. Any thoughts on that from my esteemed colleagues?

Meet the new coach:

Great googaly moogaly! It's the Dunder Mifflin Canadiens!

The Road to Ignominy

It begins tonight! The Canadiens play the first of their 82 (and ONLY 82!) games of the season.

News bulletin: as a special feature on KK/BB, I am now considering what I will promise to do/say/wear should the Habs make the playoffs. Of course, if they win the first round of the playoffs I'll do something even more provocative and weird.
And if Bride of Kovalev happens to be reading, any suggestion that I should cook dinner or some other such nonsense will be duly ignored.