Red Wings: "No Fair!"

Is oo upset dat de mean old NHL make oo miss one widdle game? Is not fair that NHL punish best team in NHL for not sending no one to stoopid poopy All Star game. No fair. Who cares stoopid Sidney Crosby still go and wave to fans. Widstrom and Datsyuk so tired dey can't even stand up and wave to fans for tirty seconds. And mean old NHL make dem miss one game. Stoopid fans care about All-Star game. Stoopid NHL. Poop.

They finally went and did it

Kris Draper let his kid take a dump in the Stanley Cup.

In the quest for ever more ridiculous and wacky things to do with the Cup, hockey players have bathed their babies in it, taken it to the tops of mountains, and jumped on trampolines with it. So where do we go from there? Why, we defile it, of course.

Let's not beat around the bush here. Kris Draper let his snot-nosed rugrat kid take a shit in the Holy Grail of hockey. Furthermore, Draper was quoted saying, "We had a pretty good laugh."
Interesting thing, Kris: I don't find that funny at all. Maybe I'll start using Red Wings jerseys to wipe my ass from now on.