New policy:
From now on, I will waste no further time watching any games in which New Jersey is playing.
The games are boring as shit, and the Canadiens usually wind up losing anyway.
So let it be written, so shall it be done.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Memo to the CBC:
Next time, try using a cameraman who's a little worse, eh? Even though it looked like the guy you got to work the main camera looked like an 80 year-old man with Parkinson's who had never watched a hockey game in his life, I still managed to see SOME of the actual on-ice play last night.
While the camera work was certainly on the same level as Bob Cole's lack of any cogent thought process, you could do a better job in making your showcase Saturday night broadcasts completely unwatchable. Work on it.
While the camera work was certainly on the same level as Bob Cole's lack of any cogent thought process, you could do a better job in making your showcase Saturday night broadcasts completely unwatchable. Work on it.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Congratulations to Chris Lee
Congrats, Chris, on winning the game against the Montreal Canadiens on Thursday night. You made sure the Habs would not win, and you are to be commended.
Of course, you do not play for the Penguins, and were in fact supposed to be be an unbiased, objective referee. At this, you failed fucking horribly. So there's that to consider too.
Of course, you do not play for the Penguins, and were in fact supposed to be be an unbiased, objective referee. At this, you failed fucking horribly. So there's that to consider too.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Ryan White rides the rollercoaster
Nice job, Bob.
First you send him down, then call him back up, forget to tell the league (incompetence), then send him back down again.
And this most recent demotion after seeing him act like a damn general out there on the ice against Ottawa. I saw him take control and direct a perfect breakout.
Now, those who know me might suspect I have some sort of bias. While that may be so, the kid really is that good.
So what does Bob do? Send him down, of course!
Awful, incompetent managing.
First you send him down, then call him back up, forget to tell the league (incompetence), then send him back down again.
And this most recent demotion after seeing him act like a damn general out there on the ice against Ottawa. I saw him take control and direct a perfect breakout.
Now, those who know me might suspect I have some sort of bias. While that may be so, the kid really is that good.
So what does Bob do? Send him down, of course!
Awful, incompetent managing.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Martin Brodeur
Bride of Kovalev and I were playing a game where we went through every NHL team, and for each one, I had to come up with one player I would get a jersey with. That is, when she said Philadelphia I was obligated to come up with "Jeremy Roenick." Vancouver? Trevor Linden.
(The Islanders were a tough call, blech.)
Of course, it would be Brodeur if I HAD to get a jersey from the Devils. You have to respect him, BoK said.
Now that he has tied Terry Sawchuk's shutout record, we are obligated to respect him that much more, however much we hate to do so.
(The Islanders were a tough call, blech.)
Of course, it would be Brodeur if I HAD to get a jersey from the Devils. You have to respect him, BoK said.
Now that he has tied Terry Sawchuk's shutout record, we are obligated to respect him that much more, however much we hate to do so.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Bruins-Habs post-game
Last night was much more than a hockey game, of course. But even leaving the pre-game ceremony aside, last night's game was more than just a regular-season matchup between the Montreal Canadiens and the Boston Bruins. As Carey Price put it, "We all played inspired hockey." The Canadiens played like champions last night.
When two rivals meet, you can forget their regular-season records. Rivalries bring out the best and worst in teams, and all that matters for these games is who wins, not who has the better record overall.
But even then, the Canadiens rose above an ordinary rivalry game.
Last night, Carey Price channeled Patrick Roy, with all the swagger, cockiness, and skill.
Stephane Auger and the otherwise irreprovable Bill McCreary did their part. It was like seeing a replay of the calls that led to Maurice Richard assaulting an official, with one-sided calls that saw Montreal have to kill off TWO extended five-on-three penalties.
And kill them off they did. Along with Price's sensational performance, the penalty killers were equally magnificent. If the refereeing was circa 1955, the Canadiens' play was vintage 1960.
And Mike Cammalleri (sorry 31, but you're going to have to fight 21,000 other female Habs fans who want to marry him): a hat trick from the Canadiens' best player. It seems he has silenced all his critics who said he could not produce without Jarmome Iginla.
In truth, this was not a regular-season game. The Canadiens will probabaly not play the kind of hockey they did last very frequently this year. Last night, they were possessed. The team we saw last night was not the 2009-2010 Canadiens - they were the ghosts of Richard and Morenz, Plante and Geoffrion. They took over the bodies of this otherwise mediocre team and dominated their opponents. It was good to see. Because now we can take Ken Dryden's advice and move on from the past, and let Montreal focus on the present and future. But we can remember that when Montreal celebrated its Centennial, its team gave a performance worthy of being remembered as one of the best ever played.
Some random thoughts from the game:
How cool was it to see Patrick Roy skate out, in full uniform? We got a peak before as he was standing behind the curtain, and seeing the C-33 helmet was chilling. Even better, we all go treated to seeing him with his mask on, taking shots, looking not all that different from the man we who stood in the paint taking warmup shots back in 1993.
Very classy move by Gordie Howe to being out the sweater of his rival number 9, Maurice Richard.
Too bad Ryan White and Tom Pyatt didn't play. I see White is going back to Hamilton. See you back again soon, Ryan.
Seriously. When you SLASH the otehr team's goalie, don't act surprised when you get shoved to the ice. And if you're a referee, don't call two penalties when a team stands up against that kind of shit.
Hal Gill, welcome back.
When two rivals meet, you can forget their regular-season records. Rivalries bring out the best and worst in teams, and all that matters for these games is who wins, not who has the better record overall.
But even then, the Canadiens rose above an ordinary rivalry game.
Last night, Carey Price channeled Patrick Roy, with all the swagger, cockiness, and skill.
Stephane Auger and the otherwise irreprovable Bill McCreary did their part. It was like seeing a replay of the calls that led to Maurice Richard assaulting an official, with one-sided calls that saw Montreal have to kill off TWO extended five-on-three penalties.
And kill them off they did. Along with Price's sensational performance, the penalty killers were equally magnificent. If the refereeing was circa 1955, the Canadiens' play was vintage 1960.
And Mike Cammalleri (sorry 31, but you're going to have to fight 21,000 other female Habs fans who want to marry him): a hat trick from the Canadiens' best player. It seems he has silenced all his critics who said he could not produce without Jarmome Iginla.
In truth, this was not a regular-season game. The Canadiens will probabaly not play the kind of hockey they did last very frequently this year. Last night, they were possessed. The team we saw last night was not the 2009-2010 Canadiens - they were the ghosts of Richard and Morenz, Plante and Geoffrion. They took over the bodies of this otherwise mediocre team and dominated their opponents. It was good to see. Because now we can take Ken Dryden's advice and move on from the past, and let Montreal focus on the present and future. But we can remember that when Montreal celebrated its Centennial, its team gave a performance worthy of being remembered as one of the best ever played.
Some random thoughts from the game:
How cool was it to see Patrick Roy skate out, in full uniform? We got a peak before as he was standing behind the curtain, and seeing the C-33 helmet was chilling. Even better, we all go treated to seeing him with his mask on, taking shots, looking not all that different from the man we who stood in the paint taking warmup shots back in 1993.
Very classy move by Gordie Howe to being out the sweater of his rival number 9, Maurice Richard.
Too bad Ryan White and Tom Pyatt didn't play. I see White is going back to Hamilton. See you back again soon, Ryan.
Seriously. When you SLASH the otehr team's goalie, don't act surprised when you get shoved to the ice. And if you're a referee, don't call two penalties when a team stands up against that kind of shit.
Hal Gill, welcome back.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Bruins-Habs preview - Centennial Edition
Habs-Bruins. On the 100th anniversary of the Montreal Canadiens' founding. Their first game actually occurred January 5, 1910. The Canadiens will be on the road against Washington for the anniversary of their first game, so tonight is when the team celebrates its history. (Incidentally, the Habs won that first-ever game against Cobalt in overtime, 7-6. Their season record, however, was 2-10.)
Montreal will undoubtedly be treating its fans to a lengthy pre-game encomium. We'll undoubtedly see Richard, Lafleur, Dryden, Roy, and a long list of other greats who have played for Montreal. Highlights galore: 1993 Game 2, 1979 semi-finals...
Any discussion of the Montreal Canadiens must inevitably also include the Boston Bruins. The Bruins are very much a part of Montreal's history.
So many of the Canadiens' triumphs have come at the expense of the Bruins. They are too numerable to count here, but we all know them. At this very moment, the reader is seeing those replays in his/her head. But then again, the Canadiens have also suffered at the hands of the Bruins, especially during the days of the Adams Division matchups. Last year's playoffs were also a bitter about-face from the previous domination the Canadiens had asserted over Boston.
So we come to tonight's game, in which the Montreal Canadiens play the Bruins for the umpteenth time.
The Habs these days, for lack of a better word, suck. They are riding a four-game losing streak, and for the last two games have put forth two of the worst efforts many Habs fans have seen in a LONG time.
The Bruins, on the other hand, sit fifth in the Conference, with a 14-8-5 record.
The result seems pretty clear. Perhaps Montreal will win, but it's not likely, given the way things are going for both teams. But even if Montreal wins, the fans have some serious questions to ask:
Why isn't Saku Koivu going to be part of the celebration? If any current NHL player deserves to be here this night, it is he. He is tied with Jean Beliveau as the longest-serving captain of the Canadiens. Someone on another blog asked who would be at center-ice in 20 or 30 years when the Canadiens celebrate their past and honor their past players. The answer would have been Saku Koivu. Instead we celebrate our fine history with a team without a captain.
Why does this team look like a glorified minor-league team?
Are our best years behind us? The Habs last won the Stanley Cup in 1993. They are currently in the longest Cup drought in team history. It would be one thing if the team were celebrating its 100th anniversary with a good, if not great, team. But tonight, Montreal celebrates the history of one of sports greatest franchises with a current roster that is mediocre at best.
They are, frankly, an embarrassment.
We as fans feel a little bit awkward celebrating such a glorious past with such a poor team in the present. It's not so much acknowledging what a great franchise Montreal is, but rather what a great team the Canadiens used to be.
And that is a huge difference. It's like remembering the anniversary of a long-divorced spouse, instead of sharing a candle-lit dinner and toasting to continued matrimonial bliss.
So good luck to the Habs. I'll be watching, and remembering.
Oh, you wanted a real preview? OK, here goes:
Plekanec, White (woot!), Pyatt, Cammalleri = good
Price = goalie.
everyone else = suck
Markov = injured
Mara, Sturm, Savard, everyone = good
Thomas/Rask = goalie
no one? = suck
Lucic (thank God, now maybe we have a chance of winning) = injured
Montreal will undoubtedly be treating its fans to a lengthy pre-game encomium. We'll undoubtedly see Richard, Lafleur, Dryden, Roy, and a long list of other greats who have played for Montreal. Highlights galore: 1993 Game 2, 1979 semi-finals...
Any discussion of the Montreal Canadiens must inevitably also include the Boston Bruins. The Bruins are very much a part of Montreal's history.
So many of the Canadiens' triumphs have come at the expense of the Bruins. They are too numerable to count here, but we all know them. At this very moment, the reader is seeing those replays in his/her head. But then again, the Canadiens have also suffered at the hands of the Bruins, especially during the days of the Adams Division matchups. Last year's playoffs were also a bitter about-face from the previous domination the Canadiens had asserted over Boston.
So we come to tonight's game, in which the Montreal Canadiens play the Bruins for the umpteenth time.
The Habs these days, for lack of a better word, suck. They are riding a four-game losing streak, and for the last two games have put forth two of the worst efforts many Habs fans have seen in a LONG time.
The Bruins, on the other hand, sit fifth in the Conference, with a 14-8-5 record.
The result seems pretty clear. Perhaps Montreal will win, but it's not likely, given the way things are going for both teams. But even if Montreal wins, the fans have some serious questions to ask:
Why isn't Saku Koivu going to be part of the celebration? If any current NHL player deserves to be here this night, it is he. He is tied with Jean Beliveau as the longest-serving captain of the Canadiens. Someone on another blog asked who would be at center-ice in 20 or 30 years when the Canadiens celebrate their past and honor their past players. The answer would have been Saku Koivu. Instead we celebrate our fine history with a team without a captain.
Why does this team look like a glorified minor-league team?
Are our best years behind us? The Habs last won the Stanley Cup in 1993. They are currently in the longest Cup drought in team history. It would be one thing if the team were celebrating its 100th anniversary with a good, if not great, team. But tonight, Montreal celebrates the history of one of sports greatest franchises with a current roster that is mediocre at best.
They are, frankly, an embarrassment.
We as fans feel a little bit awkward celebrating such a glorious past with such a poor team in the present. It's not so much acknowledging what a great franchise Montreal is, but rather what a great team the Canadiens used to be.
And that is a huge difference. It's like remembering the anniversary of a long-divorced spouse, instead of sharing a candle-lit dinner and toasting to continued matrimonial bliss.
So good luck to the Habs. I'll be watching, and remembering.
Oh, you wanted a real preview? OK, here goes:
Plekanec, White (woot!), Pyatt, Cammalleri = good
Price = goalie.
everyone else = suck
Markov = injured
Mara, Sturm, Savard, everyone = good
Thomas/Rask = goalie
no one? = suck
Lucic (thank God, now maybe we have a chance of winning) = injured
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Memo to Pierre McGuire
Dunder Mifflin Canadiens External Communication
To: Pierre McGuire
From: Everyone
Date: 12/2/09
Re: Pinching
Mr McGuire:
In response to your asinine assertion that Roman Hamrlik somehow made a mistake by not pinching on the play leading to the maple leafs' third goal last night, we would like to inform you that no NHL coach would ever approve of a defenseman pinching in that situation.
Therefore, please be advised to shut your cakehole until further notice.
***
To: Pierre McGuire
From: Everyone
Date: 12/2/09
Re: Pinching
Mr McGuire:
In response to your asinine assertion that Roman Hamrlik somehow made a mistake by not pinching on the play leading to the maple leafs' third goal last night, we would like to inform you that no NHL coach would ever approve of a defenseman pinching in that situation.
Therefore, please be advised to shut your cakehole until further notice.
***
Monday, November 30, 2009
Memo to Jacques Martin:
Dunder Mifflin Co. Internal Memo
To: Jacques Martin
From: Everyone
Date: 11/29/09
Re: Common Sense vis-a-vis Tomas Plekanec
Mr Martin,
Please cease and desist from any further use of Tomas Plekanec in the shootout. His stats are awful in the shootout, as he has like one goal in 17 chances or something like that. Any further shootout appearances by Plekanec, regardless of his in-game performance, will not be tolerated.
***
To: Jacques Martin
From: Everyone
Date: 11/29/09
Re: Common Sense vis-a-vis Tomas Plekanec
Mr Martin,
Please cease and desist from any further use of Tomas Plekanec in the shootout. His stats are awful in the shootout, as he has like one goal in 17 chances or something like that. Any further shootout appearances by Plekanec, regardless of his in-game performance, will not be tolerated.
***
Monday, November 23, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Georges Laraque
You're dead to me, Georges. Bob Gainey brought you in to add some intimidation to our roster. What you did was chat nicely and invite Milan Lucic to fight, graciously allowing him to beg off and pound your teammates instead. You mouthed off, you didn't fight, you didn't intimidate. Then last night, you nearly cost your team a game. I was honestly surprised to see you play another shift (aside: WTF, Jacques Martin?!?).
Let me clear up any misconceptions some of you out there have. When you are going for a hit, sometimes you will instinctively stick out a leg or something when your opponent dodges your check. That's normal, but you have to control that instinct. Sometimes it happens so instantaneiously there is no time to react, and the leg goes out. Otehr times, the guy has dodged you early and you stikc that leg out in a conscious effort to get some body contact, even though you know it's wrong. Just as goalies have to consciously not duck their heads when a 98-mph slap shot head their way, players have to think. And Laraque had plenty of time to decide NOT to stick that leg out. He knew better, yet he did it anyways. And he betetr as hell have played his last game in a Montreal uniform. What SHOULD have happened was for Georges to get four for the high stick, and five and game for the knee.
The referees made up for their lax call by giving penalties to Mara, Moen, and O'Byrne. So that evens out, but doesn't excuse teh refs for A) bad penalty calling, and B) even-up calls, which are BULLSHIT.
In any case, you're dead to me Georges. I just wanted to let you know why.
Let me clear up any misconceptions some of you out there have. When you are going for a hit, sometimes you will instinctively stick out a leg or something when your opponent dodges your check. That's normal, but you have to control that instinct. Sometimes it happens so instantaneiously there is no time to react, and the leg goes out. Otehr times, the guy has dodged you early and you stikc that leg out in a conscious effort to get some body contact, even though you know it's wrong. Just as goalies have to consciously not duck their heads when a 98-mph slap shot head their way, players have to think. And Laraque had plenty of time to decide NOT to stick that leg out. He knew better, yet he did it anyways. And he betetr as hell have played his last game in a Montreal uniform. What SHOULD have happened was for Georges to get four for the high stick, and five and game for the knee.
The referees made up for their lax call by giving penalties to Mara, Moen, and O'Byrne. So that evens out, but doesn't excuse teh refs for A) bad penalty calling, and B) even-up calls, which are BULLSHIT.
In any case, you're dead to me Georges. I just wanted to let you know why.
Washington report
So, I was at Friday night's game in D.C. Here's my report.
Sat up in the nosebleeds, still a pretty good view, though most of the goals were scored at the opposite end of the ice from where we were sitting, though we did get a great view of Cammalleri's powerplay goal in the third.
I wore my KOIVU #11 jersey as an homage to our dearly departed captain. Bought a Capitals hat, and confused a lots of folks.
Bride of Kovalev wore my Moscow Dynamo Ovechkin jersey. P-Stone has called it "the best-looking jersey ever."
Despite my love for Ovy, I have to say I'm glad he didn't do any highlight-worthy stuff that night. Actually, in the three games I've seen him play, he did not factor into the scoring at all. Hmmm. I'm willing to entertain offers from other teams who want to keep him from scoring...
Actually, I was not expecting that outcome at all. It was one of the most exciting hockey games I've been to, but seriously, Habs, can you guys cut the heart-attack crap?
Caps fans were pretty friendly, but still, not nearly as knowledgable as the fans up north. Work on this, Caps fans.
Observation: The Caps have done a good job tapping into Ovechkin's marketability. That said, the Caps, even if they had the same record, would not be selling nearly as many tickets as they do without Ovechkin.
Habs did not play all that well Friday night, but they played well enough to win against a good team having an off night. The beginning of the second period was brutal. We got to see plenty of THAT, and it was not fun to watch. At all.
Fun game, lots of Habs fans there, as usual in any city. Saw a woman wearing a Nordiques jersey; told her that was a sweater I could definitely NOT get behind.
Habs players represented by fans: Cammalleri, Koivu, Kovalev!, Roy, Huet, Theodore, Price (LOTS of people wearing that one).
Sat up in the nosebleeds, still a pretty good view, though most of the goals were scored at the opposite end of the ice from where we were sitting, though we did get a great view of Cammalleri's powerplay goal in the third.
I wore my KOIVU #11 jersey as an homage to our dearly departed captain. Bought a Capitals hat, and confused a lots of folks.
Bride of Kovalev wore my Moscow Dynamo Ovechkin jersey. P-Stone has called it "the best-looking jersey ever."
Despite my love for Ovy, I have to say I'm glad he didn't do any highlight-worthy stuff that night. Actually, in the three games I've seen him play, he did not factor into the scoring at all. Hmmm. I'm willing to entertain offers from other teams who want to keep him from scoring...
Actually, I was not expecting that outcome at all. It was one of the most exciting hockey games I've been to, but seriously, Habs, can you guys cut the heart-attack crap?
Caps fans were pretty friendly, but still, not nearly as knowledgable as the fans up north. Work on this, Caps fans.
Observation: The Caps have done a good job tapping into Ovechkin's marketability. That said, the Caps, even if they had the same record, would not be selling nearly as many tickets as they do without Ovechkin.
Habs did not play all that well Friday night, but they played well enough to win against a good team having an off night. The beginning of the second period was brutal. We got to see plenty of THAT, and it was not fun to watch. At all.
Fun game, lots of Habs fans there, as usual in any city. Saw a woman wearing a Nordiques jersey; told her that was a sweater I could definitely NOT get behind.
Habs players represented by fans: Cammalleri, Koivu, Kovalev!, Roy, Huet, Theodore, Price (LOTS of people wearing that one).
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Fire Bob Gainey
#485 in a continuing series, we examine why Bob Gainey does not deserve to be the general manager of the Montreal Canadiens.
Writing this in the first intermission of the Predators game. Shots during the first period:
Predators: 25. Canadiens: 4
So this is what Bob Gainey has given Montreal: he let Francis Bouillon go so that he could help his team outshoot Montreal 25-4, and be up 1-0.
Nice Job, Bob.
Writing this in the first intermission of the Predators game. Shots during the first period:
Predators: 25. Canadiens: 4
So this is what Bob Gainey has given Montreal: he let Francis Bouillon go so that he could help his team outshoot Montreal 25-4, and be up 1-0.
Nice Job, Bob.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.
The first line of the final stanza has often been omitted, as many feel it promotes further violence, when the tone of Remembrance/Veterans (nee Armistice) Day is one of reflection; further since the original name denotes a cessation of hostility.
Montreal's dressing room is famous for having "To you from failing hands we throw/The torch; be yours to hold it high."
A quick mention to my Grandfather, a minesweeper in WWII (USN);
My father, Petty Officer Second Class during the Vietnam era (USN);
My cousin, a medical corpsman (USN);
My uncle, who served on the USS Saratoga and witnessed the USS Liberty incident(USN);
And another uncle, who was wounded in Vietnam (US Army).
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.
The first line of the final stanza has often been omitted, as many feel it promotes further violence, when the tone of Remembrance/Veterans (nee Armistice) Day is one of reflection; further since the original name denotes a cessation of hostility.
Montreal's dressing room is famous for having "To you from failing hands we throw/The torch; be yours to hold it high."
A quick mention to my Grandfather, a minesweeper in WWII (USN);
My father, Petty Officer Second Class during the Vietnam era (USN);
My cousin, a medical corpsman (USN);
My uncle, who served on the USS Saratoga and witnessed the USS Liberty incident(USN);
And another uncle, who was wounded in Vietnam (US Army).
Monday, November 9, 2009
KK/BB interviews Don Cherry!
We were blessed over the weekend to have Don Cherry graciously sit down to answer some questions. Here are some highlights
KK: Don, the other night you said that New Jersey's perfect record on the road is because of their team's lack of Europeans. What would you say is behind the Avalanche's nearly-perfect record at home?
DC: It's because they got a bunch of namby-pamby European floaters out there who always get the calls from the refs because the NHL is in the back pocket of the European government.
KK: Hmm. Speaking of Swedes, how about that Jonas Gustavsson?
DC: He's a beauty, ain't he? The kid is better than Patrick Roo-wah, or whatever his name is. His eyes remind me of Maurice Richard's, but he's better because he's not some fancy-skatin' Frenchman who won't go into the corners.
KK: Moving on to other great players. Darcy Tucker: Great hockey player or the greatest?
DC: Look, I'm not saying he's the greatest of all time. Bobby Orr is the greatest, and if I were a woman I woulda had his baby. But Tucker's definitely in the top five. And Tronna was stupid to let him go.
KK: So does that mean, since he plays for the Avalanche that he's a floater too?
DC: Now hold on, I said the Avs got a bunch of floaters, but not all of em are like that, ya know? Tucker does what he can, but jeez, he can't do it all himself, ya know?
KK: Tucker has 6 points so far this season, while Paul Stastny has 18, Wojtek Wolsi has 15, and Milan Hejduk has 14-
DC (interrupting) -Look it's not the kid's fault that the coaches won't give him any ice time. They play those Europeans more because they hate good old Canadian boys like Tucker! (Shouting) If he got the same playing time as them, he'd have 50 goals already!
KK: What would you say is the biggest problem facing the NHL these days?
DC: We gotta kick out the Europeans who get all the calls, while good Canadian boys get the shaft. Canadian boys always gotta play five times better, cause they got smaller contracts than these tippy-tappy Eurpoeans with all their fancy moves and what-not.
KK: So would you say the Montreal Canadiens made the right move by sending down Sergei Kostitsyn because of his behavior, while calling up Ryan White and Tom Pyatt?
DC: Montreal is just a buncha sissy Frenchmen and Europeans wearing visors.
KK: Actually Don, only two of Montreal's starting forwards are from outside North America, and only three defensemen. Meanwhile, their Czech goalie has a much better winning record than Canadian-born Carey Price
DC: See, That's what I mean. It's a conspiracy to make Price look bad, while letting Halak get the wins.
KK: Don, if you could be NHL Commissioner, what would be the first rule you would change?
DC: I'd only allow citizens of Canada to play in the NHL, except for Frenchmen from Quebec. They're not real Canadians.
KK: What about US citizens?
DC: They'd have to apply for a waiver and be able to sing the Canadian national anthem.
KK: Don, thanks so much for speaking with us.
DC: Thanks, and go Leafs!
KK: Don, the other night you said that New Jersey's perfect record on the road is because of their team's lack of Europeans. What would you say is behind the Avalanche's nearly-perfect record at home?
DC: It's because they got a bunch of namby-pamby European floaters out there who always get the calls from the refs because the NHL is in the back pocket of the European government.
KK: Hmm. Speaking of Swedes, how about that Jonas Gustavsson?
DC: He's a beauty, ain't he? The kid is better than Patrick Roo-wah, or whatever his name is. His eyes remind me of Maurice Richard's, but he's better because he's not some fancy-skatin' Frenchman who won't go into the corners.
KK: Moving on to other great players. Darcy Tucker: Great hockey player or the greatest?
DC: Look, I'm not saying he's the greatest of all time. Bobby Orr is the greatest, and if I were a woman I woulda had his baby. But Tucker's definitely in the top five. And Tronna was stupid to let him go.
KK: So does that mean, since he plays for the Avalanche that he's a floater too?
DC: Now hold on, I said the Avs got a bunch of floaters, but not all of em are like that, ya know? Tucker does what he can, but jeez, he can't do it all himself, ya know?
KK: Tucker has 6 points so far this season, while Paul Stastny has 18, Wojtek Wolsi has 15, and Milan Hejduk has 14-
DC (interrupting) -Look it's not the kid's fault that the coaches won't give him any ice time. They play those Europeans more because they hate good old Canadian boys like Tucker! (Shouting) If he got the same playing time as them, he'd have 50 goals already!
KK: What would you say is the biggest problem facing the NHL these days?
DC: We gotta kick out the Europeans who get all the calls, while good Canadian boys get the shaft. Canadian boys always gotta play five times better, cause they got smaller contracts than these tippy-tappy Eurpoeans with all their fancy moves and what-not.
KK: So would you say the Montreal Canadiens made the right move by sending down Sergei Kostitsyn because of his behavior, while calling up Ryan White and Tom Pyatt?
DC: Montreal is just a buncha sissy Frenchmen and Europeans wearing visors.
KK: Actually Don, only two of Montreal's starting forwards are from outside North America, and only three defensemen. Meanwhile, their Czech goalie has a much better winning record than Canadian-born Carey Price
DC: See, That's what I mean. It's a conspiracy to make Price look bad, while letting Halak get the wins.
KK: Don, if you could be NHL Commissioner, what would be the first rule you would change?
DC: I'd only allow citizens of Canada to play in the NHL, except for Frenchmen from Quebec. They're not real Canadians.
KK: What about US citizens?
DC: They'd have to apply for a waiver and be able to sing the Canadian national anthem.
KK: Don, thanks so much for speaking with us.
DC: Thanks, and go Leafs!
Friday, November 6, 2009
When you ain't got nothin, you got nothin to lose
And with that Bob Dylan quote, so begins this obligatory review of last night's game.
***
The quote exemplifies how I feel Carey price approached last night's game. Nothing in front of him, no stats worth mentioning, nothing to lose.
***
I have never seen a team return so many gift-wrapped turnovers in my life. Here's my impression of the last seven minutes:
Bruins cough up puck at the Habs blue line.
Odd-man rush time!
Habs make horrible play to give it right back to the Bruins
Rinse
Repeat
***
Habs goal waved off, Bruins goal waved off. Glad neither side can call foul play.
***
Seriously, my keyboard refuses to capitalize the B in Bruins. See? I had to go back and correct it.
***
I may be just projecting, but it seems that when the Habs leave Carey Price out to dry and he gets scored on, you can practically see the word balloon above him saying, "These teammates of mine fucking suck!" He needs to work on that body language. I have had goalies who could barely hide their contempt for their teammates, and it is not a good situation.
***
With five minutes to go in the third, I said out loud, "The Habs will not let Carey Price get a shutout." I hate being right all the time.
***
Cue the obligatory Tim Thomas ridiculous save highlight.
***
That being said, the Habs deserved a loss simply for not scoring on a long 5-on-3 power-play.
***
The Habs deserved a loss, Carey Price deserved a shutout win. The result? Habs win the tie.
***
I am going to use that phrase from now on. A shootout win is not a "win." It's winning the tie.
***
Glen Metropolit is the bee's knees. Every night he outplays everyone else on either team.
***
Yes, Bruins fans, you are allowed to say "If Milan Lucic and Marc Savard had been playing we would have won 5-1." The Habs may not be so awesome, but the Bruins didn't bring their "A" game either.
***
Sick of overtime.
***
The quote exemplifies how I feel Carey price approached last night's game. Nothing in front of him, no stats worth mentioning, nothing to lose.
***
I have never seen a team return so many gift-wrapped turnovers in my life. Here's my impression of the last seven minutes:
Bruins cough up puck at the Habs blue line.
Odd-man rush time!
Habs make horrible play to give it right back to the Bruins
Rinse
Repeat
***
Habs goal waved off, Bruins goal waved off. Glad neither side can call foul play.
***
Seriously, my keyboard refuses to capitalize the B in Bruins. See? I had to go back and correct it.
***
I may be just projecting, but it seems that when the Habs leave Carey Price out to dry and he gets scored on, you can practically see the word balloon above him saying, "These teammates of mine fucking suck!" He needs to work on that body language. I have had goalies who could barely hide their contempt for their teammates, and it is not a good situation.
***
With five minutes to go in the third, I said out loud, "The Habs will not let Carey Price get a shutout." I hate being right all the time.
***
Cue the obligatory Tim Thomas ridiculous save highlight.
***
That being said, the Habs deserved a loss simply for not scoring on a long 5-on-3 power-play.
***
The Habs deserved a loss, Carey Price deserved a shutout win. The result? Habs win the tie.
***
I am going to use that phrase from now on. A shootout win is not a "win." It's winning the tie.
***
Glen Metropolit is the bee's knees. Every night he outplays everyone else on either team.
***
Yes, Bruins fans, you are allowed to say "If Milan Lucic and Marc Savard had been playing we would have won 5-1." The Habs may not be so awesome, but the Bruins didn't bring their "A" game either.
***
Sick of overtime.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Carey Price: "WTF?"
This team is in trouble. Who knows whether it's bad luck, lazy play, or some other unseen factors, but the Habs simply aren't winning when Carey Price plays.
Last night, Price played marvelously, and it still wasn't enough to secure the win. Price allowed five goals, largely because his teammates played a brand of defensive hockey that is more often found in over-40 beer leagues than in the NHL. The last one was the killer. Paul Mara decided to leave Colby Armstrong all alone in the slot, opting to cover a man who was already covered. I'm sure the on-ice audio went something like this:
(Mara): "OK Colby, you stay here in the crease, but don't do anything until I get back."
(Armstrong): "OK, Paul, whatever you say."
Think Carey Price was frustrated last year? Now he's playing for a team that won't play for him.
What does this do to a young goalie? He probably thinks it's not fair...and he's right. It is not fair that he has had to shoulder the losses, while Jaroslav Halak gets the wins. Price deserved a win last night, and his team refused to get it for him. True, the Habs play sloppy defense in front of Halak too, but not like they did last night. Last night made us pine for the return of Patrice Brisebois.
Someone needs to find out just why the Habs are determined to wreck the confidence of their erstwhile franchise goaltender. 'Cause where the Habs and Carey Price are going ain't a pretty place.
Last night, Price played marvelously, and it still wasn't enough to secure the win. Price allowed five goals, largely because his teammates played a brand of defensive hockey that is more often found in over-40 beer leagues than in the NHL. The last one was the killer. Paul Mara decided to leave Colby Armstrong all alone in the slot, opting to cover a man who was already covered. I'm sure the on-ice audio went something like this:
(Mara): "OK Colby, you stay here in the crease, but don't do anything until I get back."
(Armstrong): "OK, Paul, whatever you say."
Think Carey Price was frustrated last year? Now he's playing for a team that won't play for him.
What does this do to a young goalie? He probably thinks it's not fair...and he's right. It is not fair that he has had to shoulder the losses, while Jaroslav Halak gets the wins. Price deserved a win last night, and his team refused to get it for him. True, the Habs play sloppy defense in front of Halak too, but not like they did last night. Last night made us pine for the return of Patrice Brisebois.
Someone needs to find out just why the Habs are determined to wreck the confidence of their erstwhile franchise goaltender. 'Cause where the Habs and Carey Price are going ain't a pretty place.
Monday, November 2, 2009
What goalie controversy?
There is no controversy. Put simply: Carey Price is the long-term goaltender for the Canadiens. At the moment, Jaroslav Halak is winning while Price is not. So, for the time being, Halak is the undisputed number 1. But that won't be the case for the long-term.
Hey, maybe Bob Gainey can trade Halak for Saku Koivu. Throw in Sergei Kostitsyn as a bonus.
Hey, maybe Bob Gainey can trade Halak for Saku Koivu. Throw in Sergei Kostitsyn as a bonus.
Friday, October 30, 2009
If Jacques Martin were a good coach (and he's not)...
...he would let Jaroslav Halak play against the Blackhawks so we could see how he bounces back after a bad loss. (Martin Brodeur is pretty good at getting shutouts immediately after getting shelled. Of course, somewhere along the way someone had to give him the chance to show he was capable of that.)
...he would permanently retire Guy Carbonneau's Line-o-Matic (TM). Instilling every player with a fear of failure is debilitating. This team of strangers badly needs some time to develop chemistry, and they're not getting it.
...he would permanently retire Guy Carbonneau's Line-o-Matic (TM). Instilling every player with a fear of failure is debilitating. This team of strangers badly needs some time to develop chemistry, and they're not getting it.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Real Quick
Thomas Plekanec reminded me so much of Saku Koivu during his overtime rush to assist on the winning goal, I really had to look twice to make sure it wasn't the dearly-departed Captain. Seriously.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
NHL 2K10 on Wii
We cover a lot of hockey here, and I thought I would offer this writer's opinion on one of the newest hockey video games, NHL 2K10 on Wii from 2K Sports.
I have owned previous NHL titles, the last EA version being the infamous NHL 2005 for PC. That one had some compelling management options, but absolutely no create-a-player. After that I switched to 2K's offerings on Xbox (original), buying 2K6 and 2K7, both reasonably fun, but neither stupendous.
Fast-forward three years, to me buying NHL 2K10 for Wii.
Opening the box, one finds that the game's manual is short and shallow. It (briefly) explains the control scheme for different options such as Wii-mote, classic controller, etc. The game purports to work with Motion Plus, the peripheral that supposedly offers true 1:1 motion sensitivity.
Unless the user changes the default settings, using the Motion Plus controller makes forward passing impossible. It is possible to score, but you must revert to 1920's NHL rules, using only back-passes a la rugby in order to advance up ice (all while the CPU has no such handicap). After changing the settings to allow slightly more modern passing, the next stumbling block with Motion Plus is getting the game to acknowledge shots. Players will watch as their point men reach back for a slap shot, hesitate, bring their stick down, reach back again, drift backwards past the blue line, and either hopefully go offsides or have the puck stolen for a breakaway. The game's manual only states to hold the B button while swinging the remote in order to shoot (while using Motion Plus). Users will struggle and ultimately fail to decipher whether they should release B upon making the shot, or hold B while following through, or some combination of only tapping B during the wind-up or follow-through.
In short, Motion Plus does not work with the game.
Users will have better success without Motion Plus, but the experience will be just as frustrating. Using only the remote, poke checking is done by thrusting it forward. Unfortunately, if a your poke-check is successful, you will also shoot the puck to the other end for an icing call, as shooting is also done by simply swinging the remote. And, as there is no Motion Plus to tell the subtle difference between a thrust and a waggle, the Wii remote thinks it is doing both.
Or neither. Should your poke-check be unsuccessful, which seems to be the case most of the time, be prepared to watch the opposing player zip right around your defender to score an easy goal.
Sliders have always been a great way to customize a sports game to suit a player's comfort level. The sliders in NHL 2K10 are sparse, and ultimately useless. The only slider to adjust your own effectiveness in the defensive zone is for body checks. And anyone who has played hockey videogames knows that body checks are a hit/miss-by-a-mile proposition. Sweeps, poke checks, and stick lifts are much more effective, but there is no such slider to adjust HOW effective they are in this game. And at every difficulty level, that effectiveness is irrevocably set to "Not very damn much."
The most damning aspect of the game is its tendency to lock up. You'll hear music skip as the console tries to log in, watch the curser bounce erratically over the screen as it struggles with hit detection on menu bars, and you'll lose games. After setting my lineup and playing a season-opening game, the system locked up as it tried to return to the menu. After re-starting the system, I discovered that all my progress had been lost. This issue plagued last year's Wii iteration, and it is inexcusable for it to exist for a second year.
After two days, this $50 game and the $20 Motion Plus attachment went back to the retailer, who finally agreed to take them back after a lot of arguing.
Spare yourself the headache, and the heartache of a bad game. If you own only a Wii, I feel your pain, as I'm in the same boat. This was my only chance to see Koivu and Kovalev in a Habs jersey once again. If you are fortunate enough to have a PS3 or 360, I hear EA's offering is pretty decent.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Standing O
Interesting night. Kovalev returned to Montreal, where he made the game-winning goal possible, and scored an insurance goal himself. The fans cheered for Kovalev when he scored, and again when he was named a star of the game and came out for a curtain call.
I feel the same way, and may have applauded Kovy's play had I been there, but I am uncertain whether I would have cheered him while at the same time booing the Montreal Canadiens. After all, those players in Bleu-Blanc-Rouge CHOSE to come play in Montreal, knowing exactly what sort of mess they were getting into. Don't they deserve our respect?
And then, I consider that the Habs, at present, stink.
They're horrendous.
There is hardly anyone on that team I am remotely interested in, and their coach has yet to deliver on his promise to deliver a team that breaks out with any efficiency, or maintains any sort of sustained possession.
I also remember that Alex Kovalev really, really wanted to stay in Montreal. And a deal was on the table, but Bob Gainey chose to act like a petulant teenager, impatiently withdrawing the offer before the ink had even dried.
So I view Saturday night's "Rocky IV" moment as not only a respectful welcome to a past hero, but also a clear indication of how dissatisfied the fans are with the management, coaching, and play of this current Montreal team. If Gainey had assembled a decent team, or had kept some semblance of continuity, the Habs might not be a glorified AHL team today.
Context is everything. And for the Montreal Gazette writers who criticize the fans every time they boo, I offer this:
Montreal fans boo because they care. We are not Hurricanes fans. When the team plays badly, we know it, and we demand better. Yes, we are demanding. Should we just cheer blindly and ignorantly? Should we ignore the rules and just think that every penalty called against the Habs is unjustified, every goal scored against is the result of cheating? Habs fans actually go to games even when the team is in a down year (other recent Cup winners cannot claim the same).
We know when the team plays badly. We also know when the team plays well. Be glad that Montreal has fans who know the difference. Why should we accept the "At least he tried" mentality that allowed Patrice Brisebois to desecrate the Habs uniform?
Whether or not you agree that Kovalev should have stayed in Montreal, the results speak for themselves: The Habs suck, and Kovalev, who could have stayed a Hab, scored a goal and an assist. The fans merely pointed out the disparity.
I feel the same way, and may have applauded Kovy's play had I been there, but I am uncertain whether I would have cheered him while at the same time booing the Montreal Canadiens. After all, those players in Bleu-Blanc-Rouge CHOSE to come play in Montreal, knowing exactly what sort of mess they were getting into. Don't they deserve our respect?
And then, I consider that the Habs, at present, stink.
They're horrendous.
There is hardly anyone on that team I am remotely interested in, and their coach has yet to deliver on his promise to deliver a team that breaks out with any efficiency, or maintains any sort of sustained possession.
I also remember that Alex Kovalev really, really wanted to stay in Montreal. And a deal was on the table, but Bob Gainey chose to act like a petulant teenager, impatiently withdrawing the offer before the ink had even dried.
So I view Saturday night's "Rocky IV" moment as not only a respectful welcome to a past hero, but also a clear indication of how dissatisfied the fans are with the management, coaching, and play of this current Montreal team. If Gainey had assembled a decent team, or had kept some semblance of continuity, the Habs might not be a glorified AHL team today.
Context is everything. And for the Montreal Gazette writers who criticize the fans every time they boo, I offer this:
Montreal fans boo because they care. We are not Hurricanes fans. When the team plays badly, we know it, and we demand better. Yes, we are demanding. Should we just cheer blindly and ignorantly? Should we ignore the rules and just think that every penalty called against the Habs is unjustified, every goal scored against is the result of cheating? Habs fans actually go to games even when the team is in a down year (other recent Cup winners cannot claim the same).
We know when the team plays badly. We also know when the team plays well. Be glad that Montreal has fans who know the difference. Why should we accept the "At least he tried" mentality that allowed Patrice Brisebois to desecrate the Habs uniform?
Whether or not you agree that Kovalev should have stayed in Montreal, the results speak for themselves: The Habs suck, and Kovalev, who could have stayed a Hab, scored a goal and an assist. The fans merely pointed out the disparity.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Montreal Canadiens: a strange little team
Georges Laraque, who currently wears #17 for Les Canadiens, has asked to wear his preferred number, 27. Apparently Bob Gainey, or "the management" told him no, since it might upset some of the remaining Kovalev fans.
If Laraque had asked to wear Koivu's 11, I would definitely understand a refusal. But this is ridiculous. Montreal's management wanted to make a clean break from the old team and head in a new direction. Yet they're holding on to a number that belongs to a departed player, with whom they made it very clear they had no interest in continuing a relationship.
What is WITH this team? If they wanted Kovalev to wear #27 for Montreal, they should have re-signed him. And yes, the fault was entirely with Bob Gainey for not re-signing him. If they wanted to make a clean break, then they should make it a clean break: put #27 up for grabs and move on.
If Laraque had asked to wear Koivu's 11, I would definitely understand a refusal. But this is ridiculous. Montreal's management wanted to make a clean break from the old team and head in a new direction. Yet they're holding on to a number that belongs to a departed player, with whom they made it very clear they had no interest in continuing a relationship.
What is WITH this team? If they wanted Kovalev to wear #27 for Montreal, they should have re-signed him. And yes, the fault was entirely with Bob Gainey for not re-signing him. If they wanted to make a clean break, then they should make it a clean break: put #27 up for grabs and move on.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Dunder-Mifflin Canadiens report, October 5 edition
'The game Martin favours is "more demanding physically" but offers greater chances of moving the puck efficiently out of the defensive zone – which, Martin says, will help Carey Price by reducing the amount of time the Canadiens are playing in their own end.'
-HabsInsideOut.com
Uh-huh. In the first two games, Montreal allowed a total 81 shots, and that against two of the lesser teams in the NHL. The ONLY reason they won, and everyone knows this, was Carey Price, who stopped all but four of those shots.
Another brilliant point HabsInsideOut made during the summer was, "How bad was this team [last year]?"
Answer: Not as bad as this POS team skating in front of us. Corrollary: While I still disagree with the manner in which the team has handled him, Carey Price IS the real deal. Which brings us to my next point...
There's another team that comes to mind when we talk about Jacques Martin and his "system." There, an all-star goaltender toiled in obscurity, facing a barrage of shots, all while his team provided neither offensive nor defensive support. Finally, that goaltender had enough and left.
That was the Florida Panthers while they had Roberto Luongo.
Is this what we have to look forward to under Martin?
-HabsInsideOut.com
Uh-huh. In the first two games, Montreal allowed a total 81 shots, and that against two of the lesser teams in the NHL. The ONLY reason they won, and everyone knows this, was Carey Price, who stopped all but four of those shots.
Another brilliant point HabsInsideOut made during the summer was, "How bad was this team [last year]?"
Answer: Not as bad as this POS team skating in front of us. Corrollary: While I still disagree with the manner in which the team has handled him, Carey Price IS the real deal. Which brings us to my next point...
There's another team that comes to mind when we talk about Jacques Martin and his "system." There, an all-star goaltender toiled in obscurity, facing a barrage of shots, all while his team provided neither offensive nor defensive support. Finally, that goaltender had enough and left.
That was the Florida Panthers while they had Roberto Luongo.
Is this what we have to look forward to under Martin?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Post-game thoughts
I don't normally do post-mortems unless it's for a Bruins-Habs game, but this being the first game with the all-new Dunder-Mifflin Canadiens, I'd like to offer some observations.
I didn't catch the Bruins game. Any thoughts on that from my esteemed colleagues?
- Hal Gill SUUUUUCKS
- Carey Price bailed the Habs out way too many times, and congratulations to him on making all those saves. BUT: rebounds! Jeez.
- If the Montreal management is determined to have a butterfly goalie in net, they ought to just trade Price and keep Halak as the starter. Price is NOT a butterfly goalie. He is a hybrid like Martin Brodeur, and it's a ridiculous shame that everyone is trying to turn him into something he's not. I thought Melanson's departure was a sign that things would change...
- 46 shots on net is unacceptable. Montreal has a long history of allowing way too many shots. Why is this? The coaching is different. The roster is completely different. Bob Gainey is still in charge. Is he the culprit? Whatever the cause, it had better get fixed really damn soon.
- The Toronto refs are as crooked and corrupt as ever. Getting shoved into the opposing goalie does not mean you get a penalty.
- Mike Komisarek is just as immature, petulant, and douchey as Sergei Kostitsyn. I'm actually looking forward to watching Milan Lucic pound his bitchy ass this season.
- The top line of Calamari, Gionta, and Gomez looks really good. But they still can't break out for shit, and if one of them gets injured, it's going to be a very, very bad season.
- Power play looks very solid. It's obvious they spent a lot of time working on that during the pre-season.
- If Bob Cole was right, and this is the first time in history that Montreal has not had a Captain, then it's obvious that Bob Gainey made a serious mistake in letting Saku Koivu go. Actually, Gainey failed to retain ANY leadership in Montreal. It's not like he LET all those free agents go--he was UNABLE to sign them. And on top of that, he let the best leader of them all go willingly. That, in my opinion, constitutes horrendous management.
I didn't catch the Bruins game. Any thoughts on that from my esteemed colleagues?
Thursday, October 1, 2009
The Road to Ignominy
It begins tonight! The Canadiens play the first of their 82 (and ONLY 82!) games of the season.
News bulletin: as a special feature on KK/BB, I am now considering what I will promise to do/say/wear should the Habs make the playoffs. Of course, if they win the first round of the playoffs I'll do something even more provocative and weird.
And if Bride of Kovalev happens to be reading, any suggestion that I should cook dinner or some other such nonsense will be duly ignored.
News bulletin: as a special feature on KK/BB, I am now considering what I will promise to do/say/wear should the Habs make the playoffs. Of course, if they win the first round of the playoffs I'll do something even more provocative and weird.
And if Bride of Kovalev happens to be reading, any suggestion that I should cook dinner or some other such nonsense will be duly ignored.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Open question to Bruins fans
Is Boston's goaltending good enough to make a Cup run this year? TSN has the Bruins ranked second overall heading into the season.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Don't let the door hit you on the way out...
So Long, Brisebois. Yeah yeah, I know--I'm heartless. In all the articles I read, like this one, people praise him for trying, really really hard. Mostly because there's little else that's praiseworthy. But he TRIED hard.
One of my favorite books/short stories is Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut (complete text here). In it, we see a dystopic future where everyone is dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. Those with athletic ability are encumbered by weights. Those with exceptional minds have implants that disrupt their thoughts. All in the effort to make sure everyone feels good about themselves, and no one is better than anyone else. All that matters now is how hard people try, without any consideration of the actual results.
And that's what pisses me off about Brisebois and his apologists: he TRIED hard.
So what? He sucked.
A virtue we Americans think is unique to us is that we value effort over ability. Work hard, get ahead. But in no area is it more obvious than professional sports that we also value exceptional talent. As Crash Davis put it, when folks like Nuke Laloosh were born, the Gods reached down and turned their arms into thunderbolts. You don't pitch in yankee stadium or Fenway Park unless you were blessed with talent that ordinary people can only dream about. Yet we don't deplore that; we rush out and buy replicas of their uniforms. (I suspect that one reason for this is the mystical belief that clothing ourselves in the same garments of our heroes somehow brings us closer to possessing their exceptional powers.)
Of course, the athletes dearest to us are the ones who are both talented AND hard-working. The 1980 US Olympic hockey team would never have beaten the Russians without an exceptional degree of talent, and could not have done so without an equal measure of hard work. As much as we like to pretend they were your average, hard-working, next-door-neighbor blue-collar Americans, those boys were not ordinary humans. Though not as gifted as the Russians they played, they still were a bunch of Division-1 stars, many of whom were on their way to the NHL. But what makes them truly outstanding is their combination of ability and truly exceptional effort.
Another heart-warming story that comes to mind is "Rudy," where a kid without size or natural ability manages to earn his way onto the playing field for Notre Dame for two plays. But that's the problem with Brisebois: he was just like Rudy, but got to play ALL THE TIME.
Youth sports teach us many things. One of them is the ability (hopefully) to recognize and accept our own limitations. True, we may rise above those limitations for one glorious second, one play, or even an entire game, but sooner or later we still have to find a way to accept ourselves for what we are, warts and all. That's what maturity is. I know I have an accurate wrister and can skate pretty fast. But I also know I will never be able to make a brilliant pass or see the ice like Wayne Gretzky could. And really, that wrist shot is probably not as good as I'd like to think it is.
So what example does Patrice Brisebois set? The answer is: It doesn't matter how much you suck. We'll let you play because you try REALLY hard. And even though this is a results-oriented business, fuck it, go on out there and give it your best shot. And you get to keep a roster spot and wear the sweater of the most storied franchise in the NHL. The fans, who live day-to-day with their own regrets and petty victories and defeats, who want to escape for an hour and a half into the NHL's marvelous display of ability, where they can fantasize about being part of that dream-world and hopefully, just maybe, become a living breathing part of a championship team, instead get to watch the idiots who keep playing Brisebois tear that dream-world apart. They get to see their beloved team lose because of a bone-headed pass or yet another coughed-up puck. They get to add that bitter disappointment to the real-life disappointments they experience every day. We can forgive the Ryan O'Byrnes or Steve Smiths who make that occasional, really stupid play like putting the puck into their own net, because we know they'll do better next time. We can get behind that, cause we've all been there in our personal lives. What we can't abide is someone who keeps doing the same stupid shit day after day, and is seemingly never held accountable. We get enough of that in the average work week. We don't need to see our favorite team do it when we come home, too.
So good riddance, Brisebois. Perhaps the blame is not yours entirely. After all, who can blame you for living the dream of playing for your home team? We can surely blame the managers and coaches who let you on the ice as well. And we should also know better than to believe the ridiculous platitudes from the sports-writers when they say "but he TRIED hard." If they are to believed, then I'm owed a spot on the Canadiens roster too.
One of my favorite books/short stories is Harrison Bergeron by Kurt Vonnegut (complete text here). In it, we see a dystopic future where everyone is dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. Those with athletic ability are encumbered by weights. Those with exceptional minds have implants that disrupt their thoughts. All in the effort to make sure everyone feels good about themselves, and no one is better than anyone else. All that matters now is how hard people try, without any consideration of the actual results.
And that's what pisses me off about Brisebois and his apologists: he TRIED hard.
So what? He sucked.
A virtue we Americans think is unique to us is that we value effort over ability. Work hard, get ahead. But in no area is it more obvious than professional sports that we also value exceptional talent. As Crash Davis put it, when folks like Nuke Laloosh were born, the Gods reached down and turned their arms into thunderbolts. You don't pitch in yankee stadium or Fenway Park unless you were blessed with talent that ordinary people can only dream about. Yet we don't deplore that; we rush out and buy replicas of their uniforms. (I suspect that one reason for this is the mystical belief that clothing ourselves in the same garments of our heroes somehow brings us closer to possessing their exceptional powers.)
Of course, the athletes dearest to us are the ones who are both talented AND hard-working. The 1980 US Olympic hockey team would never have beaten the Russians without an exceptional degree of talent, and could not have done so without an equal measure of hard work. As much as we like to pretend they were your average, hard-working, next-door-neighbor blue-collar Americans, those boys were not ordinary humans. Though not as gifted as the Russians they played, they still were a bunch of Division-1 stars, many of whom were on their way to the NHL. But what makes them truly outstanding is their combination of ability and truly exceptional effort.
Another heart-warming story that comes to mind is "Rudy," where a kid without size or natural ability manages to earn his way onto the playing field for Notre Dame for two plays. But that's the problem with Brisebois: he was just like Rudy, but got to play ALL THE TIME.
Youth sports teach us many things. One of them is the ability (hopefully) to recognize and accept our own limitations. True, we may rise above those limitations for one glorious second, one play, or even an entire game, but sooner or later we still have to find a way to accept ourselves for what we are, warts and all. That's what maturity is. I know I have an accurate wrister and can skate pretty fast. But I also know I will never be able to make a brilliant pass or see the ice like Wayne Gretzky could. And really, that wrist shot is probably not as good as I'd like to think it is.
So what example does Patrice Brisebois set? The answer is: It doesn't matter how much you suck. We'll let you play because you try REALLY hard. And even though this is a results-oriented business, fuck it, go on out there and give it your best shot. And you get to keep a roster spot and wear the sweater of the most storied franchise in the NHL. The fans, who live day-to-day with their own regrets and petty victories and defeats, who want to escape for an hour and a half into the NHL's marvelous display of ability, where they can fantasize about being part of that dream-world and hopefully, just maybe, become a living breathing part of a championship team, instead get to watch the idiots who keep playing Brisebois tear that dream-world apart. They get to see their beloved team lose because of a bone-headed pass or yet another coughed-up puck. They get to add that bitter disappointment to the real-life disappointments they experience every day. We can forgive the Ryan O'Byrnes or Steve Smiths who make that occasional, really stupid play like putting the puck into their own net, because we know they'll do better next time. We can get behind that, cause we've all been there in our personal lives. What we can't abide is someone who keeps doing the same stupid shit day after day, and is seemingly never held accountable. We get enough of that in the average work week. We don't need to see our favorite team do it when we come home, too.
So good riddance, Brisebois. Perhaps the blame is not yours entirely. After all, who can blame you for living the dream of playing for your home team? We can surely blame the managers and coaches who let you on the ice as well. And we should also know better than to believe the ridiculous platitudes from the sports-writers when they say "but he TRIED hard." If they are to believed, then I'm owed a spot on the Canadiens roster too.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Phil Kessel: an exercise in stupidity
Let's take a look at the Phil Kessel trade:
Toronto gets: Phil Kessel
Boston gets: 1st and 2nd round picks in 2010, 1st round pick in 2011
Let's look deeper. A team desperately trying to rebuild sacrifices three early-round picks for the next two years. In exchange, they get a young player who, while good, will not aid either in rebuilding or in mentoring the developing players. Toronto's GM, Brian Burke said, "Bringing Phil Kessel aboard, it's a statement to our players that we intend to be competitive right away".
That's very nice Brian. I intended to be the starting RW for Les Canadiens. Somehow my intentions and reality did not mesh.
On the other hand, a team with a bonafide star, and not at all in the midst of rebuilding, mortgaged that player for picks that have no guarantee of paying off to the degree Kessel did. And even if those picks do become stars, they won't come into their own for several more years. So the Bruins, after last year's success, and presumably hoping to build upon it, are instead acting like a rebuilding team.
OK, so maybe Kessel was not long for Boston. That's fine. Just look at the Senators--you can't blame them for trading away a cancerous teammate. (Ouch--I meant that figuratively.) But for the Bruins to trade away a star while they are fast becoming a contender, and get nothing back for the immediate future, is ridiculously stupid. Meanwhile, the Leafs just don't get it either.
Of course, the benefit for this Montreal hockey fan is that I get to laugh at both the Leafs and Bruins. Just goes to show that Montreal doesn't have a monopoly on bad management.
Toronto gets: Phil Kessel
Boston gets: 1st and 2nd round picks in 2010, 1st round pick in 2011
Let's look deeper. A team desperately trying to rebuild sacrifices three early-round picks for the next two years. In exchange, they get a young player who, while good, will not aid either in rebuilding or in mentoring the developing players. Toronto's GM, Brian Burke said, "Bringing Phil Kessel aboard, it's a statement to our players that we intend to be competitive right away".
That's very nice Brian. I intended to be the starting RW for Les Canadiens. Somehow my intentions and reality did not mesh.
On the other hand, a team with a bonafide star, and not at all in the midst of rebuilding, mortgaged that player for picks that have no guarantee of paying off to the degree Kessel did. And even if those picks do become stars, they won't come into their own for several more years. So the Bruins, after last year's success, and presumably hoping to build upon it, are instead acting like a rebuilding team.
OK, so maybe Kessel was not long for Boston. That's fine. Just look at the Senators--you can't blame them for trading away a cancerous teammate. (Ouch--I meant that figuratively.) But for the Bruins to trade away a star while they are fast becoming a contender, and get nothing back for the immediate future, is ridiculously stupid. Meanwhile, the Leafs just don't get it either.
Of course, the benefit for this Montreal hockey fan is that I get to laugh at both the Leafs and Bruins. Just goes to show that Montreal doesn't have a monopoly on bad management.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Habs win! Plan the parade!
Yeah, whatever. Anyone out there who thought I cared about preseason hockey is sadly mistaken. I don't watch the games, only the highlights on TSN the morning after.
Monday, September 14, 2009
"Get over it."
Get over it? HabsInsideOut has got some nerve. One does not simply forget one of their favorite players, who also happens to be the most personally inspirational man I have ever seen. So screw off, Mike Boone. Until the Habs win the Stanley Cup, I will continue to damn Gainey for what he did. Get over that, Mike.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
It are my birfday
So how fitting is this? Darby Conley, illustrator of "Get Fuzzy" uses the Habs logo in his comic strip. And, best of all birthday presents, he uses the bruins logo in relation to monkeys, and doesn't change it at all. Is that saying something? I think it is.
Friday, August 28, 2009
We love you too, Kovy!
So Alex Kovalev is making waves, saying he likes the idea of finishing his career in Montreal. Of course, as long as Bob Gainey is GM that likely won't happen. I'm with ya, Kovy. If I could, I'd buy the team, fire Gainey, wait out your contract in Ottawa, sign you back, and for good measure, march up to Gary Bettman and kick him in the nuts. Oh, and I'd bring peace to the Middle East.
So it's settled. Kovy has his heart in Montreal, and this website will keep the name of Kovalev's Kousin. Live Long, and Prosper, Kovalev. (But just so you know, I'm pulling for the Ducks to win the Cup this year.)
So it's settled. Kovy has his heart in Montreal, and this website will keep the name of Kovalev's Kousin. Live Long, and Prosper, Kovalev. (But just so you know, I'm pulling for the Ducks to win the Cup this year.)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
For Sale: 1 Truck. All-star forward not included
My wife and I had been talking about buying a truck...maybe we should get this one!
It's the prize Alex Kovalev won for being named the MVP of this year's all-star game. AND, he promises to deliver the truck in person to the winner. The proceeds benefit Kovy's charity, the Alex Kovalev Foundation (it benefits kids with heart conditions).
I want that truck. If I won it, I'd kidnap Kovy as soon as he came to my house and demand that the Senators trade him back to Montreal. Somehow, I don't think Kovalev would mind...
One thing though, Alex. It's spelled Canadiens.
It's the prize Alex Kovalev won for being named the MVP of this year's all-star game. AND, he promises to deliver the truck in person to the winner. The proceeds benefit Kovy's charity, the Alex Kovalev Foundation (it benefits kids with heart conditions).
I want that truck. If I won it, I'd kidnap Kovy as soon as he came to my house and demand that the Senators trade him back to Montreal. Somehow, I don't think Kovalev would mind...
One thing though, Alex. It's spelled Canadiens.
Is it hockey season yet?
Jeez, August kills me. Everyone goes on vacation, the days are hot, and it seems nothing happens. Still no news, even on our dearly departed free agents. Bouillon, Lang, Tanguay, Brisebois(HA!), Dandenault, Schneider; all unsigned, thus preventing me from even posting about folks who don't even play for Montreal anymore! You may recall my post where I presented my three players jerseys/shirts. Well, I'm still waiting for the third, Francis Bouillon to be signed somewhere..anywhere! so I can end the suspense.
Well, I'll leave you with this quote from Anne Applebaum from the Washington Post:
"It's a fact: Nothing happens in August. A curtain of heat descends across the Northern Hemisphere. Shops close. Congress goes home. Washington fills up with interns, Paris swarms with tourists. Even the Russians are out in the woods, picking mushrooms.
Yes, nothing happens in August -- except, as we all know, when something really terrible happens in August. World War I began in August, Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwait began in August, al-Qaeda was preparing to bring down the World Trade Center in August. August, in other words, is the time when all of us should prepare our backup plans, chart our reversals of course, think through possible paradigm changes".
Hmm. Paradigm change certainly describes the state of the Montreal Canadiens.
Well, I'll leave you with this quote from Anne Applebaum from the Washington Post:
"It's a fact: Nothing happens in August. A curtain of heat descends across the Northern Hemisphere. Shops close. Congress goes home. Washington fills up with interns, Paris swarms with tourists. Even the Russians are out in the woods, picking mushrooms.
Yes, nothing happens in August -- except, as we all know, when something really terrible happens in August. World War I began in August, Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwait began in August, al-Qaeda was preparing to bring down the World Trade Center in August. August, in other words, is the time when all of us should prepare our backup plans, chart our reversals of course, think through possible paradigm changes".
Hmm. Paradigm change certainly describes the state of the Montreal Canadiens.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Vindication
Something told me there was something fishy when the cabbie's lawyer said everything was getting blown out of proportion. It seemed to me they had something to hide. Turns out I was right. The cabbie didn't have a license, but DID have two drunk driving convictions, and Patrick Kane is also telling us that the Cabbie locked the doors and wouldn't let him out of the Taxi.
Huzzah for being right.
In other news, we have one more reason to hate the Maple Leafs: Jim Balsillie is alleging that it's the Make-me-laffs who are leading the charge to keep him from buying the Coyotes and moving them to Hamilton.
Makes sense. After all, the Leafs whined and bitched until gary bettman moved them to the Eastern/Wales Conference. Chris Lee is the worst of them, but some NHL referees conspicuously tilt the ice in favor of the Leafs.
It stands to reason that the Leafs are acting in their own interest. After all, what does it matter to them that they have to share their supposedly league-leading revenue stream with the Coyotes, as long as it keeps them out of their back yard?
In any case, I'm tempted to believe Mr. Balsillie, even if the NHL thinks he is 'untrustworthy'.
Talk to me about destroying a sports league, Mr. Buttman. THAT is untrustworthy.
Huzzah for being right.
In other news, we have one more reason to hate the Maple Leafs: Jim Balsillie is alleging that it's the Make-me-laffs who are leading the charge to keep him from buying the Coyotes and moving them to Hamilton.
Makes sense. After all, the Leafs whined and bitched until gary bettman moved them to the Eastern/Wales Conference. Chris Lee is the worst of them, but some NHL referees conspicuously tilt the ice in favor of the Leafs.
It stands to reason that the Leafs are acting in their own interest. After all, what does it matter to them that they have to share their supposedly league-leading revenue stream with the Coyotes, as long as it keeps them out of their back yard?
In any case, I'm tempted to believe Mr. Balsillie, even if the NHL thinks he is 'untrustworthy'.
Talk to me about destroying a sports league, Mr. Buttman. THAT is untrustworthy.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
A little Bruins love...
Damn, this is getting hard. Um, I totally meant that writing about hockey is difficult during the dog-days of summer, not about anything else.
Seriously, I'm having trouble coming up with content now that the Annual Kovy Awards have been given out and the Free Agency thing is soooo two months ago. So, Hot Girls it is. I didn't know the bruins (seriously--I tried five times for my keyboard to capitalize that "B". I think it hates Zdeno Chara too...) were using hot chicks to sell hockey. I was thinking of doing some sort of bracket for all the Ice Girls league-wide, but that would take a lot of research. It's research I'm willing to do, mind you, but it might be too time-consuming trying to fit ALL the Ice Girls in. Inevitably someone would get left out, and, well, you know how women are...
In any case, here's a link to the bruins' (again, with the B, keyboard!) Ice Girls. We don't have any of those Ice Girls in Montreal, so we have to settle for the Four Habs Fans posting borderline pornography to get our Sex/Hockey fix.
Oh, btw, we may not have Ice Girls, but the chick in that bruins (seriously, it's the keyboard, folks. I'm not even kidding) ad was totally hot.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Bad Taxi Drivers
So Patrick Kane was arrested for beating up a taxi driver who refused to give him 20 cents in change. He and his cousin apparently then took the money they had given the driver.
This reminds me of an incident that happened to me during my bachelor party weekend in Boston. My buddies and I took a cab from the hotel to a local...ahem...establishment, but quickly realized the guy was driving in figure-eights. We asked him a couple of times what he was doing, to which we only got mumbles. Finally my buddy Bryan got fed up and told the driver to stop right effing now, and as we got out and Bryan paid the fare, he told the driver to give him every last penny in change for his $10. If that driver had tried to stiff him 20 cents, it would have ended very badly. There is nothing like being in a taxi and realizing that the person you are trusting to navigate a strange city for you is in fact stealing money from your pocket. It's an uncomfortable situation to have to ask the cabbie why you recognize the street he's on-even moreso when you KNOW you're being taken, and have to decide what to do about it. Cab drivers who pull this shit deserve to get beat up.
I'm tempted to think that's what happened with Kane. I seriously doubt Kane was living out some Grand Theft Auto fantasy by beating up a cab driver and taking his fare away just for the hell of it. I'll hold off on passing judgement until we hear his side of the story.
Then again, in my situation, we probably got what we deserved for not friggin WALKING. It was Boston, after all.
Friday, August 7, 2009
The Soon-to-be-Named-after-its-First-Recipient Trophy
Awarded to the team that has no business being in its current location
And the winner is:
The Phoenix Coyotes, AKA Gary Bettman's Folly
Zero! Zero teams in Hamilton! Ah ah ah!
Memo to Gary Bettman: Kill yourself. Everything you have done to the NHL has been a catastrophe. Glow Pucks. Reebok Edge Jerseys. Expansion. Killing an entire season. Killing half a season after the best media coverage and exposure the league ever had in 1994. Eliminating traditional, awesome division and conference names in favor of bland geographical ones. Letting NBC cut off an overtime playoff game in favor of two hours TALKING ABOUT horsey racing. The current state of officiating. All can be laid at Bettman's feet. Which brings us to the grandest of all of Bettman's ill-planned debacles, the Phoenix Coyotes.
Simply put, the team does not work. It makes no money, and drains revenue from real teams. I don't know if my buddy Derek bought that Milan Lucic sweater, but if he did, a lot of that $150 or so he paid went straight to Phoenix.
Bettman's steaming turd of a folly is starting to stink in the sweltering sun of Phoenix. But instead of admitting he made a mistake, Bettman is digging in, to the point of dereliction of his duty as Commissioner. The facts: Bettman's job is to act in the best interest of the league. That can be widely interpreted, but one thing that is not open for interpretation is money. Jim Ballsillie has offered $212 million for the team, but Bettman has rejected that offer, and is only considering offers that wil keep the team in Phoenix. By the way, those offers he IS considering are well below Ballsillie's. So Bettman is waging a personal war, both against Jim Ballsillie (whom he seems to despise for the shameful crime of being a competent businessman) and the vast majority of folks who are shouting, "Gary, move the fucking team!" Since Bettman refuses to accept the most lucrative, sensible deal for the league, he is no longer doing his job. He is Acting in Bad Faith.
Luckily, this may be out of Bettman's hands now. The Coyotes are in bankruptcy, and the courts get to decide the team's fate. Judge Redfield Baum has told Bettman to STFU, that ALL offers will be accepted in the team's auction, including Ballsillie's (which happens to be the highest so far).
Unfortunately, Phoenix is not the only poorly-located team, just the worst. The Tampa Bay Lightning have abysmal attendance. (21st in the league) What happened to all those fans who packed the St Pete Times building when the team was winning the Stanley Cup? Oh, they don't go to games anymore? They're fair-weather fans? Shocking. The Predators (27th) suck revenue from every northern team because of their horrible attendance. The Atlanta Thrashers: 29th in attendance. Source here
Hockey in the desert does not work. Bettman's plan to bring the sport to southern audiences has been a colossal failure, and Phoenix is exhibit A.
This has turned into a rant against GB, but really, he and the Phoenix Coyotes are inextricably linked. Congratulations on winning the hereby-named Phoenix Coyotes trophy, Gary. You must be truly proud. You arrogant piece of shit.
By the way, I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Check out this great video of Detroit fans booing the jackass. And good on the Red Wings fans for making it clear it was NOT Pittsburg, or even Sidney Crosby, they were booing. It was all for Bettman.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/227304-gary-bettmans-act-is-wearing-thin?=related-tabs
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/197395-the-nhls-demise-in-phoenix-gary-bettmans-mistake
http://www.garybettmansucks.com/
http://www.firebettman.com/
And the winner is:
The Phoenix Coyotes, AKA Gary Bettman's Folly
Zero! Zero teams in Hamilton! Ah ah ah!
Memo to Gary Bettman: Kill yourself. Everything you have done to the NHL has been a catastrophe. Glow Pucks. Reebok Edge Jerseys. Expansion. Killing an entire season. Killing half a season after the best media coverage and exposure the league ever had in 1994. Eliminating traditional, awesome division and conference names in favor of bland geographical ones. Letting NBC cut off an overtime playoff game in favor of two hours TALKING ABOUT horsey racing. The current state of officiating. All can be laid at Bettman's feet. Which brings us to the grandest of all of Bettman's ill-planned debacles, the Phoenix Coyotes.
Simply put, the team does not work. It makes no money, and drains revenue from real teams. I don't know if my buddy Derek bought that Milan Lucic sweater, but if he did, a lot of that $150 or so he paid went straight to Phoenix.
Bettman's steaming turd of a folly is starting to stink in the sweltering sun of Phoenix. But instead of admitting he made a mistake, Bettman is digging in, to the point of dereliction of his duty as Commissioner. The facts: Bettman's job is to act in the best interest of the league. That can be widely interpreted, but one thing that is not open for interpretation is money. Jim Ballsillie has offered $212 million for the team, but Bettman has rejected that offer, and is only considering offers that wil keep the team in Phoenix. By the way, those offers he IS considering are well below Ballsillie's. So Bettman is waging a personal war, both against Jim Ballsillie (whom he seems to despise for the shameful crime of being a competent businessman) and the vast majority of folks who are shouting, "Gary, move the fucking team!" Since Bettman refuses to accept the most lucrative, sensible deal for the league, he is no longer doing his job. He is Acting in Bad Faith.
Luckily, this may be out of Bettman's hands now. The Coyotes are in bankruptcy, and the courts get to decide the team's fate. Judge Redfield Baum has told Bettman to STFU, that ALL offers will be accepted in the team's auction, including Ballsillie's (which happens to be the highest so far).
Unfortunately, Phoenix is not the only poorly-located team, just the worst. The Tampa Bay Lightning have abysmal attendance. (21st in the league) What happened to all those fans who packed the St Pete Times building when the team was winning the Stanley Cup? Oh, they don't go to games anymore? They're fair-weather fans? Shocking. The Predators (27th) suck revenue from every northern team because of their horrible attendance. The Atlanta Thrashers: 29th in attendance. Source here
Hockey in the desert does not work. Bettman's plan to bring the sport to southern audiences has been a colossal failure, and Phoenix is exhibit A.
This has turned into a rant against GB, but really, he and the Phoenix Coyotes are inextricably linked. Congratulations on winning the hereby-named Phoenix Coyotes trophy, Gary. You must be truly proud. You arrogant piece of shit.
By the way, I'm not the only one who feels this way.
Check out this great video of Detroit fans booing the jackass. And good on the Red Wings fans for making it clear it was NOT Pittsburg, or even Sidney Crosby, they were booing. It was all for Bettman.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/227304-gary-bettmans-act-is-wearing-thin?=related-tabs
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/197395-the-nhls-demise-in-phoenix-gary-bettmans-mistake
http://www.garybettmansucks.com/
http://www.firebettman.com/
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The Alexei Yashin Memorial Trophy
Awarded to the league's most overpaid player
And the winner is:
Rick DiPietro
You'd think with the money he's getting, he could afford some less-ridiculous pads...
You could have taken your pick of the three nominees, but for the recent signings of two more goalies in Hempstead. First the Islanders picked up Dwayne Roloson, presumably as insurance against the oft-injured 12-year contract man. Fair enough; Roloson was platooned with Fernandez in Minnesota, so it's familiar territory. Then, the Islanders signed Martin Biron, apparently acknowledging that DiPietro is in fact nothing more than dead weight.
Let's look over the numbers. This isn't one of those deals that makes it easier to trade the player when he has one or two years left and is only getting one million or less for that time. DiPietro's contract pays him 4.5 million dollars every year until the end of the 20-21 season. Folks, that's $54,000,000 he's going to get (minus a buyout) for watching hockey games from the pressbox of the Nassau Mausoleum.
And the winner is:
Rick DiPietro
You'd think with the money he's getting, he could afford some less-ridiculous pads...
You could have taken your pick of the three nominees, but for the recent signings of two more goalies in Hempstead. First the Islanders picked up Dwayne Roloson, presumably as insurance against the oft-injured 12-year contract man. Fair enough; Roloson was platooned with Fernandez in Minnesota, so it's familiar territory. Then, the Islanders signed Martin Biron, apparently acknowledging that DiPietro is in fact nothing more than dead weight.
Let's look over the numbers. This isn't one of those deals that makes it easier to trade the player when he has one or two years left and is only getting one million or less for that time. DiPietro's contract pays him 4.5 million dollars every year until the end of the 20-21 season. Folks, that's $54,000,000 he's going to get (minus a buyout) for watching hockey games from the pressbox of the Nassau Mausoleum.
The Claude Lemieux Trophy
Awarded to the league's biggest pansy for acts of cowardice and gutlessness.
And the winner is:
Sidney Crosby
I don't care if he is the captain of a Cup-winning team. He still has not shown he is mature enough to be worthy of wearing the "C" of any team. This whiny, bitchy, spoiled brat needs some lessons in humility and sportsmanship, pronto.
And the winner is:
Sidney Crosby
I don't care if he is the captain of a Cup-winning team. He still has not shown he is mature enough to be worthy of wearing the "C" of any team. This whiny, bitchy, spoiled brat needs some lessons in humility and sportsmanship, pronto.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
The Gorton's Fisherman Memorial Trophy:
Awarded for the league's worst uniform
And the winner is:
The Montreal Canadiens
No surprises here. These sweaters were from a different time, before hockey was on TV. These are more similar to rugby jerseys than hockey sweaters, and they are better left in the past.
And the winner is:
The Montreal Canadiens
No surprises here. These sweaters were from a different time, before hockey was on TV. These are more similar to rugby jerseys than hockey sweaters, and they are better left in the past.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The Mario Tremblay Memorial Trophy:
Awarded to the league's worst coach
And the winner is:
Guy Carbonneau/Bob Gainey
Carbonneau came into his coaching job with reasonably high expectations. He had been a successful captain on a Cup-winner, an important leader on another Cup-winning team, and had done well as an assistant GM.
So what happened? Carbonneau became quickly famous for his sarcastic smirk every time the Habs received a penalty. That, combined with a penchant for whining at every single call, earned the ire of NHL referees.
Carbonneau contributed to a lack of cohesion on the Habs by constantly mixing lines. Defensemen often appeared on the number one and two forward lines. Rather than rewarding good play or finding chemistry, Carbonneau's line-shuffling was used to punish mistakes. (Hint: a good coach doesn't coach mistakes. he coaches habits.) Carbonneau's particular habit only got worse, and by the time he was fired on March 9, the line shuffling had made the players so tense and nervous that they had forgotten how to play intelligently.
Of course, by then the damage had been done, and Bob Gainey was completely unable to motivate the Canadiens, and with a 6-6 record for the remainder of the season, the Habs were unable to rise above 8th place. The playoffs were not even worth considering, as Montreal was swept without ever looking like they had a chance, or that the players even cared.
And the winner is:
Guy Carbonneau/Bob Gainey
Carbonneau came into his coaching job with reasonably high expectations. He had been a successful captain on a Cup-winner, an important leader on another Cup-winning team, and had done well as an assistant GM.
So what happened? Carbonneau became quickly famous for his sarcastic smirk every time the Habs received a penalty. That, combined with a penchant for whining at every single call, earned the ire of NHL referees.
Carbonneau contributed to a lack of cohesion on the Habs by constantly mixing lines. Defensemen often appeared on the number one and two forward lines. Rather than rewarding good play or finding chemistry, Carbonneau's line-shuffling was used to punish mistakes. (Hint: a good coach doesn't coach mistakes. he coaches habits.) Carbonneau's particular habit only got worse, and by the time he was fired on March 9, the line shuffling had made the players so tense and nervous that they had forgotten how to play intelligently.
Of course, by then the damage had been done, and Bob Gainey was completely unable to motivate the Canadiens, and with a 6-6 record for the remainder of the season, the Habs were unable to rise above 8th place. The playoffs were not even worth considering, as Montreal was swept without ever looking like they had a chance, or that the players even cared.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Now hear this,
Kovalev's Kousin will be on vacation for the week of July 27. Not to worry, we will return with lots of nagative things to say about all sorts of people, including the second half of our dubious awards.
Keep the faith, people.
The Barry Melrose Trophy:
Awarded to the league's most obnoxious douchebag broadcaster
And the winner is:
Jack Edwards
I always think of this video when I think of Jack Edwards.
"Montreal will not answer": an underhanded way of calling Montreal a bunch of cowards.
"Reich is POUNDING Bouillon!": Fact error, borne of being blind to the facts when they do not suit his fantasy that the Bruins are, like, the bestest team in the wurld!
"Reich tangling him up": Bzzzt. Wrong again, Jack. What you meant to say was, "Reich shying away from Bouillon, has asked for the fight stop."
The there's this gem of objective announcing:
It's ok to call a game from the perspective of the "home team", but when you descend into calling a game the same way a drunken, passionate fanboy would, you have lost all credibility. That laugh is not one of amusement - it's one of malice.
In closing, I'll offer this constructive criticism:
Jack Edwards, you suck at life.
And the winner is:
Jack Edwards
I always think of this video when I think of Jack Edwards.
"Montreal will not answer": an underhanded way of calling Montreal a bunch of cowards.
"Reich is POUNDING Bouillon!": Fact error, borne of being blind to the facts when they do not suit his fantasy that the Bruins are, like, the bestest team in the wurld!
"Reich tangling him up": Bzzzt. Wrong again, Jack. What you meant to say was, "Reich shying away from Bouillon, has asked for the fight stop."
The there's this gem of objective announcing:
It's ok to call a game from the perspective of the "home team", but when you descend into calling a game the same way a drunken, passionate fanboy would, you have lost all credibility. That laugh is not one of amusement - it's one of malice.
In closing, I'll offer this constructive criticism:
Jack Edwards, you suck at life.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Gary Bettman Trophy
Awarded for the league's worst management
And the winner is:
The Tampa Bay Lightning
(Despite today's news)
Ah, but those ice girls sure are nice...
They fired a winning, albeit gruff, coach to satisfy their petulant star. That same star has such a massive contract that it makes it hard to find adequate teammates, and also makes unloading that player through a trade nearly impossible.
Did we mention coaching? Let's not forget that the Lightning management hired Barry Melrose for some unknown reason, and then, in a classic dick move, fired him after 16 games. It almost seems as if Tampa Bay's management suffers from split-personality disorder...
Bad management like this starts all the way at the top and trickles on down. The owners can't agree on what the hell to do, and Gary Bettman(!) has even told Len Barrie "Show me the Money!" and prove that he is capable of co-owning an NHL team. Ah, so that explains the split-personality. The Lightning have three different people calling the shots: Len Barrie, Oren Koules, and Vincent Lecavalier.
Don't think for a minute, though, that the New York Islanders are not a CLOSE second. We really do need to give them an honourable mention for having three starting goalies now. Rick DiPietro, Dwayne Roloson, and now, Martin Biron. Absolutely baffling.
And the winner is:
The Tampa Bay Lightning
(Despite today's news)
Ah, but those ice girls sure are nice...
They fired a winning, albeit gruff, coach to satisfy their petulant star. That same star has such a massive contract that it makes it hard to find adequate teammates, and also makes unloading that player through a trade nearly impossible.
Did we mention coaching? Let's not forget that the Lightning management hired Barry Melrose for some unknown reason, and then, in a classic dick move, fired him after 16 games. It almost seems as if Tampa Bay's management suffers from split-personality disorder...
Bad management like this starts all the way at the top and trickles on down. The owners can't agree on what the hell to do, and Gary Bettman(!) has even told Len Barrie "Show me the Money!" and prove that he is capable of co-owning an NHL team. Ah, so that explains the split-personality. The Lightning have three different people calling the shots: Len Barrie, Oren Koules, and Vincent Lecavalier.
Don't think for a minute, though, that the New York Islanders are not a CLOSE second. We really do need to give them an honourable mention for having three starting goalies now. Rick DiPietro, Dwayne Roloson, and now, Martin Biron. Absolutely baffling.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Alexandre Daigle Memorial Trophy:
Awarded to the league's most overrated player
(Not to be confused with the most overPAID player)
And the winner is...
Carey Price
Poor kid. After an amazing run as the playoff MVP of the Calder Cup, Price was given the keys by an over-optimistic (and questionably sane) Bob Gainey. The result was predictable: he struggled mightily in the opening playoff round, and flat-out sucked in the second. The following year he had a .905 save percentage and a 2.83 Goals against average. Not bad, but nowehere near the god-like status he enjoys among Habs faithful. And his playoff stats this year? 4.11 and .878. Four Habs Fans calls him "The Franchise Saviour". Everyone outside of Montreal just calls him the most overrated player in the NHL right now.
(Not to be confused with the most overPAID player)
And the winner is...
Carey Price
Poor kid. After an amazing run as the playoff MVP of the Calder Cup, Price was given the keys by an over-optimistic (and questionably sane) Bob Gainey. The result was predictable: he struggled mightily in the opening playoff round, and flat-out sucked in the second. The following year he had a .905 save percentage and a 2.83 Goals against average. Not bad, but nowehere near the god-like status he enjoys among Habs faithful. And his playoff stats this year? 4.11 and .878. Four Habs Fans calls him "The Franchise Saviour". Everyone outside of Montreal just calls him the most overrated player in the NHL right now.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
The late 90's Rangers Memorial Cup
Awarded to the league's most overrated team.
And the winner is:
The San Jose Sharks.
Was this one ever in doubt? The Sharks have a made a habit of choking in the playoffs, and this one tops all their previous efforts. The President's Trophy for the best regular-season record, and out in the first round. True, the Ducks were a formidable opponent and were far better than their 8th-place standing indicated, but come ON. Joe Thornton had better hope his team finds success soon or people are going to start pointing their fingers and blaming him for these annual collapses. First it was with the Bruins and now the Sharks. But the problem goes further than Jumbo Joe, as the Sharks' disastrous post-seasons were happening before he got shown the way to San Jose. What's the solution? Through the years, San Jose has turned over most its players, but one obvious consistency has been Evgeni Nabokov.
Whatever the case, the Sharks are the reigning overrated team, and it will take a sea-change to alter that perception.
And the winner is:
The San Jose Sharks.
Was this one ever in doubt? The Sharks have a made a habit of choking in the playoffs, and this one tops all their previous efforts. The President's Trophy for the best regular-season record, and out in the first round. True, the Ducks were a formidable opponent and were far better than their 8th-place standing indicated, but come ON. Joe Thornton had better hope his team finds success soon or people are going to start pointing their fingers and blaming him for these annual collapses. First it was with the Bruins and now the Sharks. But the problem goes further than Jumbo Joe, as the Sharks' disastrous post-seasons were happening before he got shown the way to San Jose. What's the solution? Through the years, San Jose has turned over most its players, but one obvious consistency has been Evgeni Nabokov.
Whatever the case, the Sharks are the reigning overrated team, and it will take a sea-change to alter that perception.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Jerry Seinfeld Trophy:
awarded to the most obnoxious, asshole fans in the league.
And the winner is:
The Carolina Hurricanes
Hurricanes fans have made a name for themselves as some of the least well-informed yet most overly-opinionated fans in the league in recent years. A Stanley Cup championship spurred their fans to arrive at the conclusion that since the team is excellent, then they the fans must be in the right as well. Known for such gems as calling Montreal's logo a "Habitron," the inarticulate and ignorant chant of "Ref, you suck," and that annoying-as-fuck "Woo-hoo!" before EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED FACEOFF.
Congratulations, Hurricanes fans.
And the winner is:
The Carolina Hurricanes
Hurricanes fans have made a name for themselves as some of the least well-informed yet most overly-opinionated fans in the league in recent years. A Stanley Cup championship spurred their fans to arrive at the conclusion that since the team is excellent, then they the fans must be in the right as well. Known for such gems as calling Montreal's logo a "Habitron," the inarticulate and ignorant chant of "Ref, you suck," and that annoying-as-fuck "Woo-hoo!" before EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED FACEOFF.
Congratulations, Hurricanes fans.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Bruins to play at Fenway
Awesome. Almost makes me wish I still lived in the Boston area.
(Aside: No one actually lives IN Boston. Anyone who does pays $300,000 for rent and either eats ramen noodles cause that's all they can afford or is a Limousine Liberal who probably REALLY lives in Cambridge.)
Anyway, The Bruins and Fenway Pahk will host the Pbbbbhhhhlyers on New Year's day. Hey! The other admins on this blog actually get that day OFF from their wonderful employer, so I command you to get tickets! Will they close off Yawkey Way so they can have the pre-game circus of vendors, performers, etc? I know it'll be cold, but it won't be that much worse than an October game. I'm looking forward to seeing it on TV. This most recent outdoor game at Wrigley was awesome, and I hope this one is as good.
In other Bruins news, TSN is officially stoopid. They have a story about how Milan Lucic might get a roster spot next year because Bruins fans think he's exciting to watch. It was only halfway through the video that I realized they weren't talking about getting a roster spot in Boston, but on Team Canada. And no, I will not accept responsibility for the miscommunication. They need to make it clearer. (Hint: as a news organization, that's TSN's job.)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
When words fail
The only thing that can truly show what I want to say to Saku Koivu as he leaves Montreal:
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Exclusive picture from Gainey/Koivu press conference
Bob Gainey with the heart of this blog's author.
Breaking News
Saku Koivu, according to RDS, is a Duck.
Here's a translation of the French news source:
Selon plusieurs sources émanant d'Anaheim, Saku Koivu poursuivra sa carrière avec les Ducks.
-Dicky Dunn wrote this, it's gotta be true: the Ducks have signed Koivu
Koivu rejoindrait ainsi son grand ami, le Finlandais Teemu Selanne.
-Koivu will play with his Finnish buddy, Teemu Selanne.
L'entente serait d'une durée d'une saison qui lui rapporterait 3,25 millions de dollars.
-Koivu's deal will pay him 3.25 million dollars for one season, after which he'll have to find a new Finnish buddy to play with.
Plus de détails à venir
-You'll be the first to know any other rumors we hear.
Here's a translation of the French news source:
Selon plusieurs sources émanant d'Anaheim, Saku Koivu poursuivra sa carrière avec les Ducks.
-Dicky Dunn wrote this, it's gotta be true: the Ducks have signed Koivu
Koivu rejoindrait ainsi son grand ami, le Finlandais Teemu Selanne.
-Koivu will play with his Finnish buddy, Teemu Selanne.
L'entente serait d'une durée d'une saison qui lui rapporterait 3,25 millions de dollars.
-Koivu's deal will pay him 3.25 million dollars for one season, after which he'll have to find a new Finnish buddy to play with.
Plus de détails à venir
-You'll be the first to know any other rumors we hear.
So long, it's been good to know ya
Some highlights of Kovalev's time in Montreal
And of course, the greatest Kovy moment:
And of course, the greatest Kovy moment:
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Bob Gainey to fans/Alex Kovalev: "Fuck off."
Bob Gainey has said, in no uncertain terms, that Kovalev will not be back with the Canadiens. He said he made an offer, but Kovalev took too long to get back to him. Which invites the question, "How long did you wait, Bob?" My gut tells me the answer would be "Not very long." Gainey started dealing for overpriced centers the day before free agency began, which makes it probable that the allegedly patient Gainey waited perhaps 24 hours before throwing up his hands, hollering "I give up!" and bringing on a contract that we can only hope will be worth its chunk of the salary cap.
What can I, and the 100 other fans who rallied at the Bell Center in support bringing back at least ONE of the players we have grown to love, say in response to Gainey?
"Up yours" comes to mind.
Another question we'll have to deal with here at "KK, BB" will be what to do with the KK part of our name. Do we keep it, since we would risk alienating our thousands of loyal readers otherwise? Do we try to find another Canadien who bears some family resemblance? Or do we change the focus of the blog to follow whichever team Kovalev goes to? Likely, we'll remain a Habs/Bruins blog, and I will stay proud of my big-nosed Russian heritage and eerie resemblance to that enigmatic winger. Who knows? Maybe he'll become a Bruin and then we'll all be one happy family.
What can I, and the 100 other fans who rallied at the Bell Center in support bringing back at least ONE of the players we have grown to love, say in response to Gainey?
"Up yours" comes to mind.
Another question we'll have to deal with here at "KK, BB" will be what to do with the KK part of our name. Do we keep it, since we would risk alienating our thousands of loyal readers otherwise? Do we try to find another Canadien who bears some family resemblance? Or do we change the focus of the blog to follow whichever team Kovalev goes to? Likely, we'll remain a Habs/Bruins blog, and I will stay proud of my big-nosed Russian heritage and eerie resemblance to that enigmatic winger. Who knows? Maybe he'll become a Bruin and then we'll all be one happy family.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Dickie Moore: "I would like to even talk to the Molsons about this."
Amen, Dickie. After everything Saku Koivu has done for both the city of Montreal and its team, after everything the city has done for Koivu, to have Gainey decide to not even extend an offer is a slap in the face. Sure, there are fans who want to see him gone, but those people are never happy anyway. Then there are those of us who idolize Koivu for so many reasons, but realize that this team is going nowhere, and want to see him get the Cup. The there are those who know Koivu should retire a Hab.
Moore said it best when he said, "This is awful. In life, you get back what you give, and I don't know what the Canadiens are going to get for doing this to Saku."
Yeah yeah, we got an overpriced center, some guy named Calamari (LOL, Number 31), and Hal Gill. I like the last signing, but leaving Koivu out in the cold is beyond ridiculous. I was talking with a friend the other day about how bummed I was about this. This friend is/was a Baltimore Orioles fan, and that made me think of this analogy: Imagine if the Orioles had forced out Cal Ripken, Jr. THAT is exactly what's happening in Montreal.
Fire Gainey.
Moore said it best when he said, "This is awful. In life, you get back what you give, and I don't know what the Canadiens are going to get for doing this to Saku."
Yeah yeah, we got an overpriced center, some guy named Calamari (LOL, Number 31), and Hal Gill. I like the last signing, but leaving Koivu out in the cold is beyond ridiculous. I was talking with a friend the other day about how bummed I was about this. This friend is/was a Baltimore Orioles fan, and that made me think of this analogy: Imagine if the Orioles had forced out Cal Ripken, Jr. THAT is exactly what's happening in Montreal.
Fire Gainey.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Happy UFA day!
Ahh, the smell of pine needles, cranberries, and dinner slowly cooking in the oven. Oh right, that's Christmas. Still, today is a magical day, full of mystery and suspense. What will I get? What will my friends get?
Too bad the Grinch seems to have taken over the gift-giving for this household lately. We have ten wonderful players, most of whom will be going elsewhere, including one of the most classy and hard-working individuals to wear the CH. Saku Koivu wasn't even worth a contract OFFER to Bob Gainey, who had plenty of cap room to work with, and could probabaly have locked the captain up on the (relatively) cheap. So much for a classy organization.
So for this fan, this year's Christmas/UFA season takes a slightly different twist. I've always said that if you're going to buy a jersey with a player's name on it, you'd better be prepared to cheer for them after they're done wearing the logo you have on the front of that jersey. So for me, I am interested in seeing where Francis Bouillon will end up. I will support Saku Koivu no matter where he goes, but I hope it's to a Cup winner. Alex Kovalev will always be my long-lost cousin, even if he plays in Toronto (blech!)
This year, I'm not holding out much hope for what I'll find under my own tree. What I am excited about is the possibilities awaiting my favorite players. I hope Koivu gets everything he wants. He deserves it. I hope Bouillon goes somewhere where his thundering bodychecks and fireplug fighting are appreciated. Kovalev is Kovalev, so I'm not worried about him. Merry Christmas, fellas. May all your dreams come true.
Too bad the Grinch seems to have taken over the gift-giving for this household lately. We have ten wonderful players, most of whom will be going elsewhere, including one of the most classy and hard-working individuals to wear the CH. Saku Koivu wasn't even worth a contract OFFER to Bob Gainey, who had plenty of cap room to work with, and could probabaly have locked the captain up on the (relatively) cheap. So much for a classy organization.
So for this fan, this year's Christmas/UFA season takes a slightly different twist. I've always said that if you're going to buy a jersey with a player's name on it, you'd better be prepared to cheer for them after they're done wearing the logo you have on the front of that jersey. So for me, I am interested in seeing where Francis Bouillon will end up. I will support Saku Koivu no matter where he goes, but I hope it's to a Cup winner. Alex Kovalev will always be my long-lost cousin, even if he plays in Toronto (blech!)
This year, I'm not holding out much hope for what I'll find under my own tree. What I am excited about is the possibilities awaiting my favorite players. I hope Koivu gets everything he wants. He deserves it. I hope Bouillon goes somewhere where his thundering bodychecks and fireplug fighting are appreciated. Kovalev is Kovalev, so I'm not worried about him. Merry Christmas, fellas. May all your dreams come true.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Just over 24 hours until...
...Bob Gainey does nothing. But one thing he HAS done is to make it clear to Saku Koivu, despite his 16 years of dedication to the team and the city, that he is not worth a contract.
The first day of Free Agency has always been a holiday for me. I look forward to it and the trade deadline with almost as much anticipation and excitement as Christmas. But lately Montreal has been bringing the coal big time.
I will be bringing you a special report on my obsolete jerseys (once they become such) once we're in the middle of UFA season. Hint, two of them start with K on the back.
The first day of Free Agency has always been a holiday for me. I look forward to it and the trade deadline with almost as much anticipation and excitement as Christmas. But lately Montreal has been bringing the coal big time.
I will be bringing you a special report on my obsolete jerseys (once they become such) once we're in the middle of UFA season. Hint, two of them start with K on the back.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Today's award
The Soon-to-be-Named-after-its-First-Recipient Trophy:
Awarded to the team that has no business being in its current location
The nominees are:
The Nashville Predators
Hockey in Tennessee = no fans, and a substantial drain on revenue sharing. This team comes dangerously close to the MINIMUM spending the NHL requires in order to for them to steal money from real times like Montreal, Boston, Toronto, et al. That's right folks. Every time you buy a hat with a B or CH, or a Milan Lucic or Henrik Zetterberg jersey, you're giving money to Nashville.
The Phoenix Coyotes
Gary Bettman's quixotic quest to bring hockey to the desert, and to fans that don't, and never will exist, has been a catastrophe. As above, when you buy merchandise for your original six team, that money gets divvied up by teams you couldn't give a shit about.
The Tampa bay Lightning
What? The Lightning are having attendance problems? I'm shocked. Really. All those fans who came out of the woodwork when they went on that Cup run in 2004, claiming they'd been fans all along, they're not going to games anymore? Inconceivable. But don't you dare call them fair-weather fans, oh no.
Awarded to the team that has no business being in its current location
The nominees are:
The Nashville Predators
Hockey in Tennessee = no fans, and a substantial drain on revenue sharing. This team comes dangerously close to the MINIMUM spending the NHL requires in order to for them to steal money from real times like Montreal, Boston, Toronto, et al. That's right folks. Every time you buy a hat with a B or CH, or a Milan Lucic or Henrik Zetterberg jersey, you're giving money to Nashville.
The Phoenix Coyotes
Gary Bettman's quixotic quest to bring hockey to the desert, and to fans that don't, and never will exist, has been a catastrophe. As above, when you buy merchandise for your original six team, that money gets divvied up by teams you couldn't give a shit about.
The Tampa bay Lightning
What? The Lightning are having attendance problems? I'm shocked. Really. All those fans who came out of the woodwork when they went on that Cup run in 2004, claiming they'd been fans all along, they're not going to games anymore? Inconceivable. But don't you dare call them fair-weather fans, oh no.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Today's awards:
The Claude Lemieux Trophy:
awarded to the league's biggest pansy for acts of cowardice and gutlessness.
The Alexei Yashin Memorial Trophy:
awarded to the league's most overpaid player
The nominees are:
Sean Avery
I hesitate to mention him since I feel any discussion about him only encourages him to behave like an ass, and is thus self-defeating. Like my mother says, "don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, annoys the pig, and you wind up covered in shit." Or, "don't get into a pissing contest with a skunk."
Oh well, here it is:
Sidney Crosby
This kid in no way deserves to be the captain of an NHL team, as this cheap shot from this season proves.
Milan Lucic
As we are a Habs-Bruins blog, it's time to throw some love Boston's way. See the top right photo in the blog for the reason why he's nominated. Debate his decision to duck Laraque all you want, but remember this: Cam Neely never backed down from anyone, especially when specifically invited to dance. I metaphorically stand over you shouting and beating my chest, Milan.
Special shout out to the folks at www.nhlnumbers.com for breaking down the salaries. Check it out as we approach UFA season.
Rick DiPietro
Not one of the absolute highest-paid players, but his contract goes until 2021, at a cap hit of 4.5 million each season. Add to that the fact that he's never played a full season (after signing the contract) due to injury or illness, and you've got a goalie whose contract is absolutely ludicrous.
Vincent Lecavalier
09-10 Cap hit: 7.727 Million.
09-10 Salary: 10 Million.
15-16 Salary: 10 Million.
This guy weighs down his team with his ridiculous salary. It makes trading him an uphill battle, and makes the team worse since they can't spend money on decent teammates.
Brad Richards
Another glorious example of Tampa's idiotic management, Richards's contract is bloated beyond belief. A cap hit of 7.8 million per season, with 16 goals, 32 assists, and a -4 rating to show for the 2008-2009 season. If he doesn't get his ass in gear before he becomes a UFA at the end of the 10/11 season, he's due for a major lifestyle adjustment.
awarded to the league's biggest pansy for acts of cowardice and gutlessness.
The Alexei Yashin Memorial Trophy:
awarded to the league's most overpaid player
The nominees are:
Sean Avery
I hesitate to mention him since I feel any discussion about him only encourages him to behave like an ass, and is thus self-defeating. Like my mother says, "don't try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time, annoys the pig, and you wind up covered in shit." Or, "don't get into a pissing contest with a skunk."
Oh well, here it is:
Sidney Crosby
This kid in no way deserves to be the captain of an NHL team, as this cheap shot from this season proves.
Milan Lucic
As we are a Habs-Bruins blog, it's time to throw some love Boston's way. See the top right photo in the blog for the reason why he's nominated. Debate his decision to duck Laraque all you want, but remember this: Cam Neely never backed down from anyone, especially when specifically invited to dance. I metaphorically stand over you shouting and beating my chest, Milan.
Special shout out to the folks at www.nhlnumbers.com for breaking down the salaries. Check it out as we approach UFA season.
Rick DiPietro
Not one of the absolute highest-paid players, but his contract goes until 2021, at a cap hit of 4.5 million each season. Add to that the fact that he's never played a full season (after signing the contract) due to injury or illness, and you've got a goalie whose contract is absolutely ludicrous.
Vincent Lecavalier
09-10 Cap hit: 7.727 Million.
09-10 Salary: 10 Million.
15-16 Salary: 10 Million.
This guy weighs down his team with his ridiculous salary. It makes trading him an uphill battle, and makes the team worse since they can't spend money on decent teammates.
Brad Richards
Another glorious example of Tampa's idiotic management, Richards's contract is bloated beyond belief. A cap hit of 7.8 million per season, with 16 goals, 32 assists, and a -4 rating to show for the 2008-2009 season. If he doesn't get his ass in gear before he becomes a UFA at the end of the 10/11 season, he's due for a major lifestyle adjustment.
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